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Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

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  • 08-28-2017, 07:40 AM
    Heartsick123
    Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NH

    Is it always appropriate for the non-custodial parent to pay some amount of child support? Or, should they not have to if the custodial parent makes a lot more money than they do? Is the argument that both parents have the responsibility to financially support their children good enough? I don't know. I make a lot more than my ex and my initial gut reaction was to not ask for CS because of this. Now, I am by no means rich or anything (I make more, but I have a lot more expenses), and the CS would go a long way toward helping with expenses for the kids, but I get by fine without it. However, that is because I am very frugal and work hard to keep a budget, never spend money on myself and work a lot of hours.

    My ex is very irresponsible with money and while he doesn't make a lot to begin with, he also spends frivolously (eating out 4-5 times a week, Dunkin Donuts every day, taking the kids out every weekend). Everyone including my lawyer says that I should ask for CS because it is his responsibility and the money is for the kids not me. It's tough though, because I know that it will put him in an even tougher situation that he already is, but not asking for it also feels like enabling him to continue making bad choices and not being responsible which is part of the reason we aren't together anymore. I'm really torn. Any advice? Ask any questions if needed.

    Thanks
  • 08-28-2017, 08:08 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    For the most part, state child support formulas take into consideration the relative income of the parties. The remainder are income-based. It's more than fair that a parent who has income be ordered to help support his children. You can review the New Hampshire child support formula here.

    Typically, any deviation from the state child support formula has to be approved by the court. For your state's rules, see New Hampshire Statutes, Sec. 458-C:5.
  • 08-28-2017, 08:34 AM
    Heartsick123
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    Thank you for the response. As far as it seems, NH has mostly an income based formula (as changing the custodial parents income to zero in the calculator barely changed the result). We have mediation next month and I am just trying to figure out what the right thing is...
  • 08-28-2017, 08:57 AM
    readytoleave
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    How significant of a difference are we talking about?

    And what kind of timesharing will there be?
  • 08-28-2017, 09:08 AM
    jumanji
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    A possible solution - if you don't need it, set it aside in a separate account for the future - to help with college expenses, getting set up when they're starting out, etc. Or for some extras that may be a stretch otherwise.
  • 08-28-2017, 10:37 AM
    qwaspolk69
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    Quote:

    Quoting Heartsick123
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NH

    Is it always appropriate for the non-custodial parent to pay some amount of child support? Or, should they not have to if the custodial parent makes a lot more money than they do? Is the argument that both parents have the responsibility to financially support their children good enough? I don't know. I make a lot more than my ex and my initial gut reaction was to not ask for CS because of this. Now, I am by no means rich or anything (I make more, but I have a lot more expenses), and the CS would go a long way toward helping with expenses for the kids, but I get by fine without it. However, that is because I am very frugal and work hard to keep a budget, never spend money on myself and work a lot of hours.

    My ex is very irresponsible with money and while he doesn't make a lot to begin with, he also spends frivolously (eating out 4-5 times a week, Dunkin Donuts every day, taking the kids out every weekend). Everyone including my lawyer says that I should ask for CS because it is his responsibility and the money is for the kids not me. It's tough though, because I know that it will put him in an even tougher situation that he already is, but not asking for it also feels like enabling him to continue making bad choices and not being responsible which is part of the reason we aren't together anymore. I'm really torn. Any advice? Ask any questions if needed.

    Thanks

    Yes both parents are obligated to support any mutual children they share. Why wouldn't they be? I make a lot more than my ex husband (not hard when he makes $0 with no job) and he's been obligated to pay support for our daughter and his other three kids. Does he pay it? Rarely. He hasn't in almost a year actually. I did almost waive it for him because of the fact he doesn't pay it but I thought someday he has to pay it and then maybe I'll just give it to our daughter at that point.

    It is his responsibility to support his children with you. Do not let him out of that. The issue will be most calculations take into account what the custodial parent makes versus the noncustodial. So his share might be pretty low. Then you might not ever see it anyway and he will pile up arrears if he doesn't pay.

    You do what you think is best and take into account your lawyer's advice.
  • 08-28-2017, 10:43 AM
    readytoleave
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    The other thing is that if it is garnished from his wages he won't have the money to spend frivolously, which isn't your problem. I don't think you should feel any guilt about child support. The only thing that I did differently in our child support case as compared to the state calculator with my ex is take into account that he has her a third of the time, and gave him credit for that.
  • 08-28-2017, 10:57 AM
    adjusterjack
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    Quote:

    Quoting Heartsick123
    View Post
    Thank you for the response. As far as it seems, NH has mostly an income based formula (as changing the custodial parents income to zero in the calculator barely changed the result). We have mediation next month and I am just trying to figure out what the right thing is...

    You have a lawyer and you have mediation?

    Implies some serious disagreements and perhaps some hostility.

    What's he trying to do to you that you don't like?
  • 08-28-2017, 11:37 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    Quote:

    Quoting adjusterjack
    View Post
    You have a lawyer and you have mediation?

    Implies some serious disagreements and perhaps some hostility.

    What's he trying to do to you that you don't like?

    Mediation is very often mandatory before anything else can be done.
  • 08-28-2017, 12:08 PM
    llworking
    Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Mediation is very often mandatory before anything else can be done.

    Pretty much everybody in my state gets sent to mediation unless they are entering stipulated agreements. The purpose of mediation is to try to get them to a stipulated agreement so that the judge doesn't have to decide the nitty, gritty, details.
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