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Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects

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  • 08-21-2017, 07:37 PM
    Lissychrissy09
    Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects
    I recently got married. My son has my maiden name. His father barely pays child support. He has already been arrested and had his license suspended due to child support payments. I want to have my sons last name changed to my current. Now I know my ex was very controlling and abusive We were never married. I am the custodial parent. Is there any way for me to have my sons last name changed to my husband since we are the primary caregivers for my son?
  • 08-21-2017, 07:50 PM
    Lissychrissy09
    Re: Changing Last Name
    I'm from New Jersey
  • 08-21-2017, 08:32 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing Last Name
    http://www.njcourts.gov/forms/10552_namechg_minor.pdf

    You're welcome!
  • 08-22-2017, 04:53 AM
    llworking
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Lissychrissy09
    View Post
    I'm from New Jersey

    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.
  • 08-22-2017, 10:17 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.

    Not true. Specially since the child has Mom's maiden name and not Dad's name to begin with.
  • 08-22-2017, 10:23 AM
    llworking
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Not true. Specially since the child has Mom's maiden name and not Dad's name to begin with.

    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.
  • 08-22-2017, 10:27 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.


    It can be changed without his consent. Is it likely? I'm not offering odds on that one. But can it? Yes, yes it can. Dude you know this. :confused:
  • 08-22-2017, 10:50 AM
    llworking
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    It can be changed without his consent. Is it likely? I'm not offering odds on that one. But can it? Yes, yes it can. Dude you know this. :confused:

    Since when did I become a dude?

    And since when have we told people they can do it when the odds are so incredibly low?
  • 08-22-2017, 01:06 PM
    Taxing Matters
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.

    I disagree that Dad’s consent is necessary. Nothing in the statute or case law conditions a name change on the consent of both parents. Indeed, in NJ in cases in which the parents disagree, the current state of the case law is that minor name changes are made in the best interests of the child and the decision should be gender neutral. In short, the courts do sometimes grant name changes over the objection of the other parent. Moreover, the NJ Supreme Court stated that in such contests there is a strong presumption in favoring the name chosen by the custodial parent. In particular, the court stated:

    Courts have experienced difficulty in applying those criteria due to the “speculative quality of the inquiry into the effect that the chosen surname would have on the future welfare and happiness of the child.” Id. at 142, 657 A.2d 856.

    To lessen that difficulty and to increase the predictability of such analyses, “we adopt[ed] a strong presumption in favor of the surname chosen by the [primary caretaker].” Id. at 144, 657 A.2d 856. Underlying that presumption is “a basic principle of family law—that the parent having physical custody of the child is generally accorded broad responsibility in making daily child-rearing decisions.” Id. at 142, 657 A.2d 856. We found implicit in that broad responsibility the supposition that the primary caretaker “act[s] in the best interests of the child in discharging that obligation ... [,]” and that the naming or changing of the name of a child is like other decisions left to the primary caretaker. Ibid. We concluded that the secondary caretaker “bears the burden of demonstrating by a preponderance of the evidence that despite the presumption favoring the [primary caretaker]'s choice of name, the chosen surname is not in the best interests of the child.” Id. at 145, 657 A.2d 856.

    Ronan v. Adely, 182 N.J. 103, 108–09, 861 A.2d 822, 825 (2004).

    In a more recent case, the Appellate Division rejected this presumption in cases where the parents had been married at the time of birth or had been in a long-term committed relationship at birth and the parents jointly chose the name of the child. “The presumption applies less logically or fairly in cases where the parents entered into a committed relationship of significant duration, where the children were originally named by a marital partnership—rather than one parent—undoubtedly with the intent that the designation remain permanent.” Emma v. Evans, 424 N.J. Super. 36, 45, 35 A.3d 684, 689 (App. Div. 2012), aff'd as modified, 215 N.J. 197, 71 A.3d 862 (2013). The Court also placed great weight on the fact that the parents had joint legal custody. “Sixth, but of perhaps greater weight than the other reasons for our decision, the parties stipulated at the time they divorced that they would exercise joint legal custody. The significance of this agreement cannot be overstated in considering the issues presented by this appeal; in fact, it was greatly under-appreciated in the trial court.” Id. This case represents a retreat, to some extent, of that presumption at least where the parents had been married or in a committed relationships or where there is joint legal custody. But that presumption is not gone entirely.

    In short, as things stand today, if the OP was not married or in a committed relationship with the father at the time of birth and the parents do not have joint legal custody, it appears that the courts would apply a presumption that the name chosen by the custodial parent is in the best interests of the child. That is merely a presumption (though apparently a strong one) so the other parent could overcome that by showing the name change is nevertheless not in the best interests of the child.

    The bottom line is that a name change is possible in the face of the father’s objection here, and might even be likely if the presumption is applied. Not knowing the details of the OP's relationship with the father and particularly their status at the time the child was born, and not knowing the current state of things, I cannot say just how likely it is. But it is at least likely enough that the OP ought to meet with a family law attorney to review all the facts and see how it might go. If the presumption can be applied, she might stand a pretty good chance.
  • 08-22-2017, 01:32 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Since when did I become a dude?

    Oh, L. Never change.

    Quote:


    And since when have we told people they can do it when the odds are so incredibly low?
    You made a definitive statement.

    Quote:

    Dad still has to agree to a name change
    Okay, two.

    Quote:

    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.
    These are your words, Ma'am. Your words. Now if would point to where anything I wrote was legally incorrect, maybe I can learn from you?
  • 08-22-2017, 01:40 PM
    llworking
    Re: Changing Last Name
    So basically, what is being said on this thread is that in NJ it is likely that a judge would agree to a back door adoption by letting the child's last name be changed to that of the new stepparent?...without an actual adoption happening? That seems very wrong to me.
  • 08-22-2017, 01:49 PM
    Taxing Matters
    Re: Changing Last Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    So basically, what is being said on this thread is that in NJ it is likely that a judge would agree to a back door adoption by letting the child's last name be changed to that of the new stepparent?...without an actual adoption happening? That seems very wrong to me.

    No. Adoption and a name change are two very different things, as I’m sure you know. A name change is just that, a change of name. It does NOT change the rights and obligations of either parent with respect to the child. After the name change, the parents rights and obligations are exactly as they were before the name change. The only thing different is that the child has a new name.

    Adoption is very different. In an adoption, the rights and obligations of one parent are terminated completely and the adoptive parent now assumes the rights and obligations of a parent to the child. Adoption would not occur without the consent of the other parent unless that parent’s rights were first terminated.

    But we are not talking about adoption here. Merely a name change. That’s a huge difference. There is no adoption, back door or otherwise, in a name change. The fact that the name change will match the last name of the step father rather than some other name does not make it akin to an adoption. It does not give the step-father any parental rights.
  • 08-23-2017, 02:40 PM
    HannahD2017
    Re: Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects
    I live in tennessee, I am trying to change my child's last name to mine, I am her mother and her only provider. I was told by a lawyer I can't change her last name without her father's okay, he abandoned her 2 years ago, they've been trying to track him down for child support but haven't had any luck. He in no way supports her, contacts her, or sees her.
  • 08-23-2017, 03:05 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects
    HannahD2017, were you married to the father ? Or is the father on the child's birth certificate ?
  • 08-23-2017, 03:24 PM
    flyingron
    Re: Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects
    HANNAH, you need to run your own thread. Your inappropriate tacking to other people's threads have caused confusion as to just where you and the child reside which is causing potentially incorrect answers.

    If he has been determined to be the father by either being married to you at the time or having signed an affidavit of paternity, or otherwise being listed on the birth certificate or subsequently determined to be the fater, he needs to consent (or at least be notified so he can raise objection if he wants) to the change.

    You're fortunate that Tennessee is actualy fairly lenient towards mothers in situations like this. However, that won't get you out of following the rules. You must either have the father join in the petition or serve the father notice. While the father's abanonment will enter into the decision on the name change issue, it won't let you just ignore the legal process. You're going to need a bona fide effort to locate the father to notify. If you can't, you can petition the court for an alternative method.


    On the otherhand, if there is no father of record (you were single, and the father wasn't subsequently identified), then you don't have to do that. It sounds however that since you're chasing after someone for support, that this isn't the case.

    Either way, there will need to be public notice given as well in your state.
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