What Are a Teenage Minor's Rights Relating to Her Pregnancy

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: North Carolina

A 16 year old family member is pregnant. The boyfriend/father of the child is trying to be active in her life but the grandmother is doing everything in her power to keep them apart. They are both good kids that just made a bad decision to have unprotected sex. The 80 year old grandmother has legal custody of her granddaughter and is demanding all sorts of things such as not putting the birth father's name on the birth certificate, trying to talk her into making him sign over his rights, not allowing a crib to be bought because the baby can sleep with her, etc. The girl is going to school, is a straight A student and has multiple offers from family members to help with the baby while she is in school and works. The grandmother won't let her get her license because she wants full control of where she goes.

The boy is taking summer classes at the community college this summer and will be dual enrolled this coming school year so he can get his prerequisites out of the way so he can get ahead in school. They are both doing what they can to be responsible yet the grandmother refuses to see it. She also says the baby is NOT to be celebrated. Last weekend she took her granddaughter and the boy to the preacher and he wanted to marry them right then and there but both teens refused and said they aren't getting married until they have graduated and can support themselves. Not to mention, it's completely illegal to marry minors without both parents consent and I know for a fact that the boys parents would never agree to it.

There are so many more things going on but my question is, what rights does the 16 year old have in regards to this pregnancy and the baby? And what rights, if any, does the grandmother have to the baby? The grandmother is already saying that the boy will never take the baby anywhere and that he will only be able to see it at her house. The boy is a nice boy who wants to be in the child's life and he comes from a good family that also wants to be involved. Unfortunately the 16 year olds mother and father aren't in her life at all. I'm the closest she has to a mother and I'm not quite sure how involved to get.

Who are you in this situation and why and how involved? Sounds like you're standing off with lots of opinions.

I guess the taxpayers will supporting the child and mother ? Or is the father going to get an after school and weekend job so he can support his child ?

If the grandmother won't allow the father to see his child. The father can petition the court for visitation. But, that does not include seeing or spending time with the mother. As long as,the mother is a minor, the grandmother controls her

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Quoting comment/ator

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Who are you in this situation and why and how involved? Sounds like you're standing off with lots of opinions.

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I'm the aunt. My mother in law has custody. The reason I'm so heavily involved is because I'm the one having to take her to all of her obgyn appointments, prenatal counseling, etc because my mil won't drive farther than our little town. We have no obgyn in town. So I have to listen to my mil and her demands during car rides, phone calls, visits, etc. My niece never ever argues with my mil so I hear her complaints through text or phone calls. The father of the baby has offered to take her to her dr visits but my mil won't allow them to be alone, so that's out of the question.
I'm just trying to keep the peace but it's getting exhausting. Tonight hearing my mil repeatedly say that the baby shouldn't be celebrated, that they need to stop acting like they are in love, that the boy is going to leave her and that she's a disgrace is really upsetting me. The mil is the one that made it clear that abortion or adoption was not an option so I'm having a hard time understanding exactly what it is that she wants.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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I guess the taxpayers will supporting the child and mother ? Or is the father going to get an after school and weekend job so he can support his child ?

If the grandmother won't allow the father to see his child. The father can petition the court for visitation. But, that does not include seeing or spending time with the mother. As long as,the mother is a minor, the grandmother controls her

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The father of the baby and my niece both have jobs. But the grandmother is trying to talk my niece into telling the boy to give up his rights and to not put his name on the birth certificate. I told her that was the worst thing she could do because it is HIS responsibly too! He is homeschooled but also enrolled at the community college, so his homeschool schedule can be modified to fit around his work schedule.

I've also told my mother in law that if the father of the child is refused visitation of the baby that he and his parents could end up getting custody. It's that a real possibility or am I wrong?

Chances are very good the grandmother is right about the father leaving the mother.

If the mother and child go on public assistance, the state can go after the father for child support. If the mother or father go to court on their own for visitation and/or child support, the father will have to take a DNA test to prove he is the father.

If the mother is on Medicaid, she can get free Medicaid Transportation to and from her medical appointments.

It's that a real possibility or am I wrong?

You are wrong. Until after the baby is born AND paternity is established, the only one who has any more rights to the child than I do is the mother. When paternity is established, a court will decide what his visitation is and you may rest assured that what he was and was not allowed to do before he was legally declared the father will have no part in establishing it.

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Quoting urbanchickenmom

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My question involves juvenile law in the State of: North Carolina

A 16 year old family member is pregnant. The boyfriend/father of the child is trying to be active in her life but the grandmother is doing everything in her power to keep them apart. They are both good kids that just made a bad decision to have unprotected sex. The 80 year old grandmother has legal custody of her granddaughter and is demanding all sorts of things such as not putting the birth father's name on the birth certificate, trying to talk her into making him sign over his rights, not allowing a crib to be bought because the baby can sleep with her, etc. The girl is going to school, is a straight A student and has multiple offers from family members to help with the baby while she is in school and works. The grandmother won't let her get her license because she wants full control of where she goes.

The boy is taking summer classes at the community college this summer and will be dual enrolled this coming school year so he can get his prerequisites out of the way so he can get ahead in school. They are both doing what they can to be responsible yet the grandmother refuses to see it. She also says the baby is NOT to be celebrated. Last weekend she took her granddaughter and the boy to the preacher and he wanted to marry them right then and there but both teens refused and said they aren't getting married until they have graduated and can support themselves. Not to mention, it's completely illegal to marry minors without both parents consent and I know for a fact that the boys parents would never agree to it.

There are so many more things going on but my question is, what rights does the 16 year old have in regards to this pregnancy and the baby? And what rights, if any, does the grandmother have to the baby? The grandmother is already saying that the boy will never take the baby anywhere and that he will only be able to see it at her house. The boy is a nice boy who wants to be in the child's life and he comes from a good family that also wants to be involved. Unfortunately the 16 year olds mother and father aren't in her life at all. I'm the closest she has to a mother and I'm not quite sure how involved to get.

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Who are you in this situation? Oh a legal stranger so no rights.

As long as she is a minor and grandma has custody, grandma controls her life. She has no control over her great-grandchild though. Only her granddaughter has control and the alleged father if he establishes his rights. There's nothing grandma can control about that baby. But she can control granddaughter until she is an adult.

The grandma has no rights to that baby but she can prevent the boyfriend from stepping foot on her property or coming near her granddaughter.

You really shouldn't get involved because you legally have no say in it and say the granddaughter runs away and you help her, you could get in trouble. Is she being abused? Neglected? Then there isn't much you can do if the answer is no to those questions.

Grandma is entitled to her beliefs about unwed teenage parents.

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Quoting urbanchickenmom

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I'm the aunt. My mother in law has custody. The reason I'm so heavily involved is because I'm the one having to take her to all of her obgyn appointments, prenatal counseling, etc because my mil won't drive farther than our little town. We have no obgyn in town. So I have to listen to my mil and her demands during car rides, phone calls, visits, etc. My niece never ever argues with my mil so I hear her complaints through text or phone calls. The father of the baby has offered to take her to her dr visits but my mil won't allow them to be alone, so that's out of the question.
I'm just trying to keep the peace but it's getting exhausting. Tonight hearing my mil repeatedly say that the baby shouldn't be celebrated, that they need to stop acting like they are in love, that the boy is going to leave her and that she's a disgrace is really upsetting me. The mil is the one that made it clear that abortion or adoption was not an option so I'm having a hard time understanding exactly what it is that she wants.



The father of the baby and my niece both have jobs. But the grandmother is trying to talk my niece into telling the boy to give up his rights and to not put his name on the birth certificate. I told her that was the worst thing she could do because it is HIS responsibly too! He is homeschooled but also enrolled at the community college, so his homeschool schedule can be modified to fit around his work schedule.

I've also told my mother in law that if the father of the child is refused visitation of the baby that he and his parents could end up getting custody. It's that a real possibility or am I wrong?

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Then as long as you keep helping her you have to listen to your mother in law and her demands.

Who told you the parents could get custody if he is refused visitation? Until a court order grants him visitation he has no right to see the child. Until he establishes his paternity he has zero rights as an unwed father. No his parents won't automatically get custody if he gets denied visitation. If he has a court order after there is a baby and anyone denies him his parenting time he can take the mother of the child to court for contempt. His parents have no more say in this child than her grandmother does.

She can tell her granddaughter anything she wants. She can't stop the father from going to court and establishing paternity. She can't.

Until she's legally an adult, she has to do what grandma says unfortunately. There's not much you can do to stop mother in law's beliefs either.

I guess I should have been a little more specific when I said that the father could gain custody. He will establish paternity by signing the birth certificate which is what he and my niece want. He WANTS to be part of the child's life. So when my mother in law constantly says that he can't spend time with the child, I pointed out that if he is denied visitation then he can take her to court and possibly end up with custody if she continues to deny him access to the child. How would that work though if the courts granted him visitation and the grandmother refused to let him on her property? My niece is helpless in that situation so the courts wouldn't go after HER would they?

Btw, last year the grandmother made my husband and I promise that we would take my niece in if something happened to her. Of course we would take her and the baby in. This is not on paper though so I know if anything came up, our verbal agreement means nothing in the eyes of the court system. We are all my mil and niece have. That doesn't mean it's always peaceful or that we agree with each other on many topics. But my gosh is it ever emotionally exhausting.

Hopefully everything will work out and peace will resume. I actually just left their house after holding a family meeting. There was yelling and there were tears. But it was good to finally get ALL of our feelings and frustrations out and we left hugging and telling each other that we loved one another. It's just going to be a constant work in progress and hoping they will both seek counseling at least so they can talk about their feelings with someone outside of the situation.

I think you are still overthinking this if you are thinking that the court is going to say, in essence, "Dad has visitation and you're not letting him have it? Fine, we'll take the child away from Mom and give him or her to Dad". It is not impossible that ONCE PATERNITY IS ESTABLISHED that he will be given joint custody, but that still does not mean that Grandma has to let him in the house. An exchange in a neutral location can be arranged. There are any number of ways it can be arranged for both legal parents to be in the child's life but Grandma is NOT going to be ordered to let Dad in her house if she doesn't want him there.

And until after the child is born Dad, or I should say Alleged Dad (because legally that's all he is at this point) has no rights whatsoever.

Mom is a minor. Mom does what Grandma says until she is 18. If the court and Grandma think differently, the court rules. But no, custody is not going to be taken away from Mom if Grandma refuses to let him in the house.

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Quoting cbg

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I think you are still overthinking this if you are thinking that the court is going to say, in essence, "Dad has visitation and you're not letting him have it? Fine, we'll take the child away from Mom and give him or her to Dad". It is not impossible that ONCE PATERNITY IS ESTABLISHED that he will be given joint custody, but that still does not mean that Grandma has to let him in the house. An exchange in a neutral location can be arranged. There are any number of ways it can be arranged for both legal parents to be in the child's life but Grandma is NOT going to be ordered to let Dad in her house if she doesn't want him there.

And until after the child is born Dad, or I should say Alleged Dad (because legally that's all he is at this point) has no rights whatsoever.

Mom is a minor. Mom does what Grandma says until she is 18. If the court and Grandma think differently, the court rules. But no, custody is not going to be taken away from Mom if Grandma refuses to let him in the house.

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I do have a tendency to overthink things, so that statement is 100% correct. I've GOT to pull away some. This is consuming me and I know it's unhealthy. Easier said than done though.

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Quoting urbanchickenmom

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I guess I should have been a little more specific when I said that the father could gain custody. He will establish paternity by signing the birth certificate which is what he and my niece want. He WANTS to be part of the child's life. So when my mother in law constantly says that he can't spend time with the child, I pointed out that if he is denied visitation then he can take her to court and possibly end up with custody if she continues to deny him access to the child. How would that work though if the courts granted him visitation and the grandmother refused to let him on her property? My niece is helpless in that situation so the courts wouldn't go after HER would they?

Btw, last year the grandmother made my husband and I promise that we would take my niece in if something happened to her. Of course we would take her and the baby in. This is not on paper though so I know if anything came up, our verbal agreement means nothing in the eyes of the court system. We are all my mil and niece have. That doesn't mean it's always peaceful or that we agree with each other on many topics. But my gosh is it ever emotionally exhausting.

Hopefully everything will work out and peace will resume. I actually just left their house after holding a family meeting. There was yelling and there were tears. But it was good to finally get ALL of our feelings and frustrations out and we left hugging and telling each other that we loved one another. It's just going to be a constant work in progress and hoping they will both seek counseling at least so they can talk about their feelings with someone outside of the situation.

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Signing the birth certificate isn't the only thing he has to do to establish his paternity especially if he wants visitation rights.

No he can't "end up with custody" if he's denied visitation. I guess that your niece is going to have to figure out how he sees the kid as long as she lives with grandma. Grandma doesn't have to let him on her property at all. But if he's denied visitation then yeah they could get her for contempt if HE takes it to court. If he never files contempt then nothing happens. (Ex: my ex husband had every other weekend and six weeks in the summer with his two kids with other ex wife. She would deny him visitation until she got child support which I paid - that's illegal and I told him to take her to court for contempt. He wouldn't - so she got away with it).

If she dies and her parents don't want her then you could file for custody yes. The only way to get things to work is get grandma to realize she can't control this baby and she needs to not control her granddaughter so much.

Were the parents rights terminated ? Did a court give the grandmother legal custody of the grandaughter ?

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Were the parents rights terminated ? Did a court give the grandmother legal custody of the grandaughter ?

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Her parents didn't know how to take care of a child. My sil called her parents the day she got home from the hospital saying she had a headache and needed them to watch the baby. So it started off that way. My in laws (father in law died 2 years ago) would never tell my sil "No". Eventually my niece was with the grandparents more than her own parents. Then it got to the point that when my niece WAS home, she would call people crying that she was hungry. Her parents slept all the time, would drag my niece to the bowling alley all hours of the night so they could do karaoke, and they rarely had food in the house. My in laws eventually talked them into signing over all rights and the court granted my in laws as her legal guardian. The parents live in town. The mother sees my niece maybe 5 times a year and the father hasn't seen her in probably 10 years or longer. Neither parent has gotten my niece a Christmas or birthday gift in years. My nieces dad doesn't even know her birthday anymore. Basically they are pathetic. I've asked my niece what her mom has had to say about the pregnancy but she said her mom doesn't talk to her. Yet the mom is on Facebook all day long. She THINKS she's a Facebook star. It makes me livid seeing her partying every weekend, going on trips, shopping, etc all the time. But she can't see her own child.
OK...my blood pressure is rising just typing that.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Were the parents rights terminated ? Did a court give the grandmother legal custody of the grandaughter ?

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Oh and the main reason they talked my nieces parents into giving up their rights is so they could sign papers,request medical records, school records, etc. It was a hassle trying to get my nieces parents to take care of the things that a responsible parent would have common sense to do.
Ugh!