Non Custodial Parent Moved Out of State

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AL

I am a non custodial, joint custody father and I moved out state after informing my ex wife. I moved for better opportunity and was under the impression my ex wife was willing to work with me on custody arrangements. Our current custody agreements states I get my 4 year old son every other weekend, rotating thanksgiving, half of christmas break and spring break. I also have him for 4 total weeks, in 2 wwek increments. There was also a clause that she requested to be added that states if either parent moved more than 75 miles away, I would have to pick my son up, and she would have to come get him.

When I first moved away my son was 3 and my ex wife stated she didnt want him gone for long periods of time because of his age. I was trying to work with her and be cordial, so I respected and received my son for two weeks at a time several times over the past year. Also it is to be mentioned she only came to pick him up once, ( i am 9 hours away) because she said it isnt her fault I moved. Once again, trying not to ruffle any feathers, I didnt fight too hard and just continued to drop and pick him up myself.

My son is now 4 and in a private preschool this coming school year. She has just now informed me he is not allowed to miss school days as if he was in actual school. She is stating I cannot come to get him until he has a break from school, which will be the winter break.

After heated text messages, and me challenging her on the fact of him not being able to miss school, she has not stated I can come to get him for one week in October. I do not want to have a battle every time I would like to see my son and want to submit for a custody modification so we can have an agreement we can both abide by. I told her this and now she is stating because I moved I have a chance of it going poorly for me.

I was hoping to find out what your thoughts are on the outcome of going to court. Thanks in advance.

File to modify custody which is what you should have done. If he's in a preschool that's still school. She has to go by the rules of that school so if he can't miss, he can't miss.

No one knows what will happen. Do you have a lawyer? Does she?

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Quoting ABC1234567

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AL

I am a non custodial, joint custody father and I moved out state after informing my ex wife. I moved for better opportunity and was under the impression my ex wife was willing to work with me on custody arrangements. Our current custody agreements states I get my 4 year old son every other weekend, rotating thanksgiving, half of christmas break and spring break. I also have him for 4 total weeks, in 2 wwek increments. There was also a clause that she requested to be added that states if either parent moved more than 75 miles away, I would have to pick my son up, and she would have to come get him.

When I first moved away my son was 3 and my ex wife stated she didnt want him gone for long periods of time because of his age. I was trying to work with her and be cordial, so I respected and received my son for two weeks at a time several times over the past year. Also it is to be mentioned she only came to pick him up once, ( i am 9 hours away) because she said it isnt her fault I moved. Once again, trying not to ruffle any feathers, I didnt fight too hard and just continued to drop and pick him up myself.

My son is now 4 and in a private preschool this coming school year. She has just now informed me he is not allowed to miss school days as if he was in actual school. She is stating I cannot come to get him until he has a break from school, which will be the winter break.

After heated text messages, and me challenging her on the fact of him not being able to miss school, she has not stated I can come to get him for one week in October. I do not want to have a battle every time I would like to see my son and want to submit for a custody modification so we can have an agreement we can both abide by. I told her this and now she is stating because I moved I have a chance of it going poorly for me.

I was hoping to find out what your thoughts are on the outcome of going to court. Thanks in advance.

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What alternative did you suggest to Mom?

4 weeks of summer till my son turns 8, then 6 weeks after that. 2 weeks during winter break on even years, and thanksgiving and spring break on odd years. I will take responsibility of travel expenses unless she moves more than 3 hours further. Then it will revert to the i pick up and she drops off.

i have inquired, and am wiling if need be to get a lawyer. she has had many custody battles with her prior ex husband and will most likely use the same attorney.

I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

In fact, it might not be enough time for you (if money isn't a factor, at least). Have a look at some long-distance parenting plans, too.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

In fact, it might not be enough time for you (if money isn't a factor, at least). Have a look at some long-distance parenting plans, too.

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I have, and AL seems to only be fond of 4-6 weeks for summer breaks. I dont want to seem greedy or unreasonable. The reality is, I would love to have primary custody. But she is a good mom to our son and I'm not trying to go into that kind of battle.

Then I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

And Dad, I gotta tell you ... you're a breath of fresh air. Keep doing what you're doing, because it's clear that your mutual child is your priority. Good for all of you :)

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Quoting ABC1234567

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AL

I am a non custodial, joint custody father and I moved out state after informing my ex wife. I moved for better opportunity and was under the impression my ex wife was willing to work with me on custody arrangements. Our current custody agreements states I get my 4 year old son every other weekend, rotating thanksgiving, half of christmas break and spring break. I also have him for 4 total weeks, in 2 wwek increments. There was also a clause that she requested to be added that states if either parent moved more than 75 miles away, I would have to pick my son up, and she would have to come get him.

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That clause probably won't hold up since you moved 9 hours away.

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When I first moved away my son was 3 and my ex wife stated she didnt want him gone for long periods of time because of his age. I was trying to work with her and be cordial, so I respected and received my son for two weeks at a time several times over the past year. Also it is to be mentioned she only came to pick him up once, ( i am 9 hours away) because she said it isnt her fault I moved. Once again, trying not to ruffle any feathers, I didnt fight too hard and just continued to drop and pick him up myself.

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For a three year old, two weeks at a time probably was best for the child.

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My son is now 4 and in a private preschool this coming school year. She has just now informed me he is not allowed to miss school days as if he was in actual school. She is stating I cannot come to get him until he has a break from school, which will be the winter break.

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That may or may not be over the top on mom's part. I do not know anything about the program that he is in.

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After heated text messages, and me challenging her on the fact of him not being able to miss school, she has not stated I can come to get him for one week in October. I do not want to have a battle every time I would like to see my son and want to submit for a custody modification so we can have an agreement we can both abide by. I told her this and now she is stating because I moved I have a chance of it going poorly for me.

I was hoping to find out what your thoughts are on the outcome of going to court. Thanks in advance.

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My thoughts are that its time to take it back to court for a custody modification based on the distance. Since you created the distance and its quite a long distance its quite possible that you will be ordered to provide the transportation. That is a lot of cost out of mom's pocket for something she had no control over.

You will likely get every other Thanksgiving, a week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break, and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4ths of the summer. However, since your child is quite young the summer visits might start out a little shorter and work themselves up over a summer or two. However again, its quite possible that you will have to provide all of the transportation for that. I would certainly fight you tooth and nail if I were in mom's shoes...as I would suspect that you would as well if mom had been the one to up and move 9 hours away.

And it's also possible that the transportation will be shared.

Times are changing.

:cool:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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And it's also possible that the transportation will be shared.

Times are changing.

:cool:

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In that particular respect, I think that they are changing for the worst. One parent should not be permitted to be financially damaged by the choices of the other. I do realize that there can be some exceptional circumstances but in general, the parent creating the distance should have to live with the financial consequences of their actions.

In any case, its still quite possible that he could be ordered to provide all of the transportation, therefore he should be aware of that and prepared, just in case.

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Quoting llworking

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In that particular respect, I think that they are changing for the worst. One parent should not be permitted to be financially damaged by the choices of the other. I do realize that there can be some exceptional circumstances but in general, the parent creating the distance should have to live with the financial consequences of their actions.

In any case, its still quite possible that he could be ordered to provide all of the transportation, therefore he should be aware of that and prepared, just in case.

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I understand where you are coming from, and if you read my replies to other comments, I stated I was willing to take on the cost of transportation. However, the irony of the clause regarding the 75 miles or more is, it was put in at her request to protect herself in the event she moved. I find it ironic that she doesn't approve when it was her doing. But for the sake of peace, I have no problem picking up the cost of transportation because my son means more to me than irony.

Thank you all for your opinions; I guess it will just depend on the judges' perspective.