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Do Custody Courts Ever Rule in Favor of Fathers

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  • 06-11-2017, 07:09 PM
    Mzlizzie
    Do Custody Courts Ever Rule in Favor of Fathers
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Wisconsin

    Question for court. If a couple had a daughter and were not married and the man had been physically and mentally abusive, threatening to take the child away. What if after the couple separated when the child was two and shared 50/50 custody, the father was arrested for OWI, and also received a three year restraining order against him by the mother because of abuse. What if that father had two other daughters by a previous marriage had 50/50 custody with their mother but while they were in his custody they were both sexually molested. What if the father had threatened suicide, and his daughters had threatened suicide, began cutting themselves and on numerous occasions were hospitalized for observation. What if after one of the daughters reached the age they could request that they live with the mother and the father paid the support and only had the daughter when the young step daughter was in his care. Would this be grounds for the mother of the daughter to ask for full custody when that child reached the preteen years?

    This question was posed in the reverse and and it has been the mother with these issues and not the father. Since the courts always side with the mother was just wondering if the courts would side with the father if the mother was guilty of all these offenses?
  • 06-11-2017, 07:32 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Quote:

    Quoting Mzlizzie
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Wisconsin

    Question for court. If a couple had a daughter and were not married and the man had been physically and mentally abusive, threatening to take the child away. What if after the couple separated when the child was two and shared 50/50 custody, the father was arrested for OWI, and also received a three year restraining order against him by the mother because of abuse. What if that father had two other daughters by a previous marriage had 50/50 custody with their mother but while they were in his custody they were both sexually molested. What if the father had threatened suicide, and his daughters had threatened suicide, began cutting themselves and on numerous occasions were hospitalized for observation. What if after one of the daughters reached the age they could request that they live with the mother and the father paid the support and only had the daughter when the young step daughter was in his care. Would this be grounds for the mother of the daughter to ask for full custody when that child reached the preteen years?

    This question was posed in the reverse and and it has been the mother with these issues and not the father. Since the courts always side with the mother was just wondering if the courts would side with the father if the mother was guilty of all these offenses?

    What if you actually ask the question in a reasonably coherent form? :)

    Seriously - help us help you. A brief timeline and explanation of events would help tremendously ...

    (But to answer the basic question you asked ... the courts do not always side with the mother. Not. At. All)
  • 06-12-2017, 04:15 PM
    Mzlizzie
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Sorry for being incoherent. Not sure how much of the picture needs to be revealed in order to assess the situation. This is written by grandmother on Dad’s side and I have also been subjected to verbal abuse and restrictions on time I could spent with my granddaughter through the years.

    The situation actually involves a couple who began living together thirteen years ago. The woman had two girls, age 5 and 7 from a previous marriage. The couple were desirous of having a child together and a daughter was born in 2005. The Dad took on the responsibility for the other two girls since the father of these two girls either wouldn’t or couldn’t pay any substantial amount for child support. During the time Mom and Dad were together, Mom was constantly taking the other father of the two older girls to court. After daughter was born, Mom began to be progressively physically and emotionally abusive to the Dad. After two years, Mom left with the daughter and the court awarded 50/50 custody.

    Constant threats of ‘taking Dad to court, and/or actually taking him to court for various reasons caused Dad to have to constantly be paying for attorneys, court costs and any mediation costs. Dad paid child support and Mom worked 16 hour work week at home. Eventually since she was capable of working a 40 hour work week and her home based position was eliminated, requiring her to seek outside employment.
    During subsequent years, the Mom went from one boyfriend to another, and moved frequently. At one point Dad had to have a three year restraining order placed against Mom because of domestic violence.

    As the two girls from a previous marriage got older, first the oldest then the youngest were sexually molested. The oldest for many years was a ‘cutter’ and was in and out of hospitals for threats of suicide. Also Mom was raped. And was in hospital for suicidal thoughts. At some point the youngest daughter went to live with her natural father and Mom is now paying child support.
    Mom has now married and has another extended family. The two girls are now approximately 19 and 16 years of age. Dad has lived all these years with the fear of his daughter being exposed to the same environment. Through the years Dad reported some of these concerns to the court. Dad was told he would need to initiate a study which, of course, involved thousands of dollars in legal fees that he would have to pay and Mom was not required to pay since she was on State Aid.

    The culmination of these events and the financial and emotional strain on Dad has left its toll. Dad is having to file for bankruptcy, is close to losing daughter’s only permanent home where her school and friends are. Dad is fearful that Mom will discover the situation and petition the court for full custody leaving Dad with no financial way to fight to continue to see his daughter.
    This is also a tale of two households: Dad encourages social development. Daughter is learning violin, very interested and involved in school activities, has a wide net of both neighborhood and school friendships as a result of her Dad’s home. Mom has, through the years, moved frequently but does have a home in another city close by since her marriage. Although Mom does attend events and pays attention to basic school needs there is not the social, moral, educational formation that needs to take place to ensure daughter of the needed skills to function in an adult society.
  • 06-12-2017, 04:20 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Quote:

    Quoting Mzlizzie
    View Post
    Sorry for being incoherent. Not sure how much of the picture needs to be revealed in order to assess the situation. This is written by grandmother on Dad’s side and I have also been subjected to verbal abuse and restrictions on time I could spent with my granddaughter through the years.

    The situation actually involves a couple who began living together thirteen years ago. The woman had two girls, age 5 and 7 from a previous marriage. The couple were desirous of having a child together and a daughter was born in 2005. The Dad took on the responsibility for the other two girls since the father of these two girls either wouldn’t or couldn’t pay any substantial amount for child support. During the time Mom and Dad were together, Mom was constantly taking the other father of the two older girls to court. After daughter was born, Mom began to be progressively physically and emotionally abusive to the Dad. After two years, Mom left with the daughter and the court awarded 50/50 custody.

    Constant threats of ‘taking Dad to court, and/or actually taking him to court for various reasons caused Dad to have to constantly be paying for attorneys, court costs and any mediation costs. Dad paid child support and Mom worked 16 hour work week at home. Eventually since she was capable of working a 40 hour work week and her home based position was eliminated, requiring her to seek outside employment.
    During subsequent years, the Mom went from one boyfriend to another, and moved frequently. At one point Dad had to have a three year restraining order placed against Mom because of domestic violence.

    As the two girls from a previous marriage got older, first the oldest then the youngest were sexually molested. The oldest for many years was a ‘cutter’ and was in and out of hospitals for threats of suicide. Also Mom was raped. And was in hospital for suicidal thoughts. At some point the youngest daughter went to live with her natural father and Mom is now paying child support.
    Mom has now married and has another extended family. The two girls are now approximately 19 and 16 years of age. Dad has lived all these years with the fear of his daughter being exposed to the same environment. Through the years Dad reported some of these concerns to the court. Dad was told he would need to initiate a study which, of course, involved thousands of dollars in legal fees that he would have to pay and Mom was not required to pay since she was on State Aid.

    The culmination of these events and the financial and emotional strain on Dad has left its toll. Dad is having to file for bankruptcy, is close to losing daughter’s only permanent home where her school and friends are. Dad is fearful that Mom will discover the situation and petition the court for full custody leaving Dad with no financial way to fight to continue to see his daughter.
    This is also a tale of two households: Dad encourages social development. Daughter is learning violin, very interested and involved in school activities, has a wide net of both neighborhood and school friendships as a result of her Dad’s home. Mom has, through the years, moved frequently but does have a home in another city close by since her marriage. Although Mom does attend events and pays attention to basic school needs there is not the social, moral, educational formation that needs to take place to ensure daughter of the needed skills to function in an adult society.

    What is it that Dad wants to do? Is there a reason why Dad isn't asking the questions himself?
  • 06-13-2017, 05:57 AM
    Mzlizzie
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    No reason. I was the one who found this Forum and have passed info to son. He is busy dealing with current financial situations and during our discussions about his losing his home and filing bankruptcy, he expressed concerns that Mom would file for custody, hence my search. He is a Tech Specialist and has been working by contracts. His present contract finished and he is presently seeking another. One problem he has had through the years is that his specialty is best served by taking a position outside of Wisconsin but this has been difficult since Mom has no wish to work with him on any schedule. His desire is to get life back on track and keep his daughter. Now that I have established contact and have forwarded the site to son, should and will let him continue on the forum.
  • 06-20-2017, 11:15 PM
    Mzlizzie
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    My question will now have to change. My son passed away suddenly Monday morning, the 19th. I am now facing a new situation. What rights do I have as a grandmother
  • 06-20-2017, 11:28 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Quote:

    Quoting Mzlizzie
    View Post
    My question will now have to change. My son passed away suddenly Monday morning, the 19th. I am now facing a new situation. What rights do I have as a grandmother

    You have no inherent rights. Grandparent visitation is very, very difficult to obtain in Wisconsin and typically awarded only when the grandparent has developed a relationship similar to a parent-child relationship.

    I'm very sorry for your loss. Perhaps the best course of action would be to approach Mom and be as kind and welcoming as you can be.
  • 06-21-2017, 06:06 AM
    Mzlizzie
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Very sad at this moment. Seems I am losing a son and a granddaughter. Please pray for my family. Thank you for your help.
  • 06-21-2017, 08:22 AM
    llworking
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Quote:

    Quoting Mzlizzie
    View Post
    Very sad at this moment. Seems I am losing a son and a granddaughter. Please pray for my family. Thank you for your help.

    I am very sorry for your loss. However, you do not have to lose your granddaughter. If you are as respectful as possible to mom, and basically apologize (even grovel if necessary) about any disrespect you showed to her in the past, you should be able to keep in your granddaughter's life.
  • 06-21-2017, 10:11 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Does Court Ever Judge in Favor of the Father
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I am very sorry for your loss. However, you do not have to lose your granddaughter. If you are as respectful as possible to mom, and basically apologize (even grovel if necessary) about any disrespect you showed to her in the past, you should be able to keep in your granddaughter's life.

    I agree with this. And let's keep in mind that Mom herself will be doing some of her own grieving, for the loss of her child's father.
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