Father Refuses to Administer ADHD Meds As Prescribed

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: CT

My x and I have joint custody but my sons primary residence is with me and he is with me 80% of the time. My son has had a full psych eval diagnosing him with combined ADHD. I finally convinced his father to do trials of meds as diets were not working. His father will only allow my son to be on a quick acting med once a day (which means its worn off my 11AM). Despite struggles in the afternoon at school and during aftercare dad says "he doesn't need it...he is just spoiled and he needs to be accountable". I tried changing my sons meds to a time release and Dad flipped out and told me to witch back immediately. He even called the school and demanded them not to give my son a second dose of medication. I have also suggested behavioral therapy which my x also refuses. I feel like my x is neglecting my sons needs. He has never seen my son on meds yet states he doesn't need them. Mind you my son is only there 8 nights a month. The Dr. and I have been trying to work together to get the correct medication fit but dad refuses it. Is this neglect? When this is in the best interest of my child to be on meds and have behavioral therapy to teach I'm skills to cope for when he is not on medication. As well as helping to wean him off them in the future.

is he not also "his" son or "our" son? Can't help other than to get you to think about your words and how they will come across to those you deal with including your ex, the court and school/medical officials.

That said, what does your custody agreement say about major decisions and medical care?

Is it joint legal as well?

You could file to request a change in custody if he's refusing to give the medicine. Not sure if it will happen - or at least file for sole legal.

you are correct about wording and I thank you for calling that to my attention...he is our son...this said our agreement says nothing about medical decisions aside from stating that we are to give detailed info regarding any medical situation to the other parent...however joint custody usually means we need to make decisions together I believe.

it says "joint" not "joint legal" but I presume they are the same

Would you feel comfortable getting a second opinion? Because frankly this is one I'd take back to court, and while one diagnosis is typically good enough, two wouldn't hurt.

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Quoting supermom419

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you are correct about wording and I thank you for calling that to my attention...he is our son...this said our agreement says nothing about medical decisions aside from stating that we are to give detailed info regarding any medical situation to the other parent...however joint custody usually means we need to make decisions together I believe.

it says "joint" not "joint legal" but I presume they are the same

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Well there's usually a designation made on physical custody and legal. Sometimes one person gets sole custody but then both parents get joint legal which means they both can make legal decisions. If someone gets sole legal and physical that means that parent gets to make all legal decisions and has physical custody. So that's why I asked does it state if you both have joint legal and physical or not. So yes if it's joint legal custody that means both have decisions.

I agree with Dogmatique you need to take this back to court and a second opinion on his need for the medication wouldn't hurt. I would definitely try to get sole legal custody if he's denying him medication.

all my agreement says is that we have joint custody and our son's primary residence is with me.

he is also demanding that I don't take our son to behavioral therapy...therefor I am sure he will try to deny me more opinions

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Quoting supermom419

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all my agreement says is that we have joint custody and our son's primary residence is with me.

he is also demanding that I don't take our son to behavioral therapy...therefor I am sure he will try to deny me more opinions

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Back to court you go, Mom. Do you have an attorney? I think it'd be worth shelling out for at least an initial consultation.

nope..but I clearly need to get one...

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Quoting supermom419

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nope..but I clearly need to get one...

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Many will give a free consultation. I would try to find any of those that do. Talk to at least a few and see what their rates are, etc. You have to take your ex back to court to fix ths.