How Does Visitation Work After a Prior Move-Away if the NCP Relocates

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AZ to SC

2015-Stipulated agreement father allowing mother (sole legal decision maker) to relocate from Az to SC (Arizona order). Father has parenting time; Summers and Christmas, flights paid equally. 2011 Mother was granted sole legal and physical custody due to fathers drug addiction during Family drug court. Relocation to SC was due to military orders and a reassignment base.

***Mother knew that she needed to be back in Arizona due to fathers slight relapse after drug court (proof from his family). Our Family had to spend a minimum of 2 yrs in SC to ask for reassignment back to Arizona*** Father was made aware of this situation on multiple occasions and seemed very happy. We felt we needed to keep everyone close.

Father and mother had great co-parenting relationship. Father and mothers husband worked on vehicles together, father came for Christmas's in Az, etc. (People would describe our situation as weird, but we did it for our child, nonetheless its been 10 years since the divorce).

Moreover, 2015 and 2016 mother and the husband kept father in the loop on the military orders situation and the status of them. Oct 2016, mother text father that orders were issued that they would be returning back to Arizona Summer 2017. Dad was very happy and said cant wait to have you all back.

60 days later, father says hes moving to Texas to pursue romantic relationship. Mind you the female I know. She helped alter his hair follicle document (long story).
Anyway, father says the reason for his move is that hes unhappy in Az, depressed, getting evicted from apartment, gave aware firearms, lost his job, and needs change. Mother suspects relapse due to extreme behaviors (text msg). Father didn't give notice to mother just left and never gave mother a chance to object to the parenting time to be relocated to another state or him to consider if it were in the best interest of the child. Father left with no job lined up and back child support of $2500. Fathers move was March 2017.

Dad feels his parenting time should take place in Texas now and asks mother why she feels she decides if the parenting time is only for Az. Mother disagrees due to 1) order not stating parenting time in Texas 2) suspicion of drug use and 3) disrupting child sport schedule. We are moving back to provide stability. However, mother has given father the opportunity to drug test by a certain date to rule in or out the use of narcotics, and go from there, father refused. Mom would have considered some sort of visitation agreement schedule however the subject of relapse is still a factor. How would mother ever bee able to tell if a full blown addiction is taking place when father is in another state? Both Mother and the father do not have any family in texas for child to go to if something happened to father.

Now the next issue: Child sports. Training begins Middle June and season ends March. This sport is a travel competitive and has been played for 9 years, child is now 12. Mother and husband has signed and solely paid for this sport. Father struggles financially.

So the question is, since Mother gave father in text 10/2016 coming back to Az, Dad leaves 3/2017, Mother relocates back 6/2017, what would be the next step especially considering there is a drug relapse in question and the father wanting to take him to another state without my approval? What are my rights having Sole Legal decision making? What are fathers rights not having custody or decision making, only a parenting time? Child begins his sport again a couple weeks after we get to Az. In our original divorce decree is does state that either party cannot relocate out of the Phoenix Metropolitan area without petitioning the court. I realize something has to be filed I just don't know what and my appointment with my attorney in Az. Looking for thoughts.....By the time I get to Arizona, father would have only been in the state of Tx for only 3 months.

Dad told child on phone that hes going to take him to Tx. Child says "I don't want to go I want to play my sport, your the one that left". Dads irate.

Am I in the right, am I in the wrong, am I properly advocating for my son, am I protecting him physically and emotionally???? I'm so confused.

Unless it's in the court order, Mom has no right to demand a drug test from Dad before she "allows" visitation. "Might" and "what if" will not endear Mom to the judge, either. Therefore, Mom will likely end up disappointed when Dad is able to visit with his child in his own state.

Why is Mom allowing the child to treat his father with such disrespect?

Mom is going to have to file a motion to modify the court orders based on all of the changes, the fact that the child wants to participate in the sport, and based on suspected drug use by dad. Mom may or may not get what she wants, but the schedule will end up getting modified to some extent, simply because of the changes.

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Quoting llworking

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Mom is going to have to file a motion to modify the court orders based on all of the changes, the fact that the child wants to participate in the sport, and based on suspected drug use by dad. Mom may or may not get what she wants, but the schedule will end up getting modified to some extent, simply because of the changes.

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I agree, that mom should seek a new order based upon the significantly changed circumstances. She can raise the drug use issues in court. Given the nature of those issues, mom would be wise to get help from a family lawyer.

To Dogmatique

You definitely make a great point in regards to mother demanding drug test and it not actually being in the order.

Noting, Mother would not be disappointed if parental visits were sober/meaningful and child is safe. Past emergency order was approved due to father being under influence of a narcotic substance and drove child home and tested positive after random drug test within 24 hrs.

Question: On what grounds would it be necessary for mother to request the court to intervene if drugs are or do become a factor with father?

Your last question: That's a great question, in your opinion would you feel child is feeling stress, frustration, and or confusion? If so would you suggest counseling, mediator evaluation, or guardian ad litem. Mothers response to child was to allow the parents to discuss this matter. Dad was requested that these conversations be left between the parents and the court.

UCCJEA question: Can father or mother even be able to file in Az if the 6 month residency hasn't applied?

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Quoting AspenTree2017

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To Dogmatique

You definitely make a great point in regards to mother demanding drug test and it not actually being in the order.

Noting, Mother would not be disappointed if parental visits were sober/meaningful and child is safe. Past emergency order was approved due to father being under influence of a narcotic substance and drove child home and tested positive after random drug test within 24 hrs.

Question: On what grounds would it be necessary for mother to request the court to intervene if drugs are or do become a factor with father?

Your last question: That's a great question, in your opinion would you feel child is feeling stress, frustration, and or confusion? If so would you suggest counseling, mediator evaluation, or guardian ad litem. Mothers response to child was to allow the parents to discuss this matter. Dad was requested that these conversations be left between the parents and the court.

UCCJEA question: Can father or mother even be able to file in Az if the 6 month residency hasn't applied?

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Yes, because AZ still has jurisdiction of the case since jurisdiction has never been moved.

To llworking

Overall, Mother wants Father sober and that child is able to continue his completive sport.

If both of those are addressed then would a court consider what is in the best interest?

If child describes the numerous skunk smells in Dads home to a evaluator/counselor would that be enough for the court listen to listen to childs words that father has relapsed and needs help?

To Mr. Knowitall

Agreed definitely a bit of a mess.

Ah good to know thank you. That was stumping me.

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Quoting AspenTree2017

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To llworking

Overall, Mother wants Father sober and that child is able to continue his completive sport.

If both of those are addressed then would a court consider what is in the best interest?

If child describes the numerous skunk smells in Dads home to a evaluator/counselor would that be enough for the court listen to listen to childs words that father has relapsed and needs help?

To Mr. Knowitall

Agreed definitely a bit of a mess.

Ah good to know thank you. That was stumping me.

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It really depends on what drug dad is using and the individual judge's attitude. Pot, for most judges is not going to be considered to be bad enough to deny dad unsupervised visitation. Other stuff will have other reactions.

Laying side the drug issue, if there is enough summer time available that the child can participate in his sport AND spend a reasonable amount of summer time with dad, then the judge is likely to arrange the summer schedule so that it works. If the child cannot participate in the sport AND spend some reasonable summer time with dad, that is a problem. Many coaches are aware of this sort of problem and will work with you to allow the child to miss some of the sport season if that is the case.

I do think that if you point out to the judge that you made all of this effort to get stationed back in AZ so that the child could have dad and things like sports, and then after dad knew you were coming back he made the decision to move to TX for a girl, that the judge will be more inclined to rule in favor of the child getting to do his sport.

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Quoting AspenTree2017

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Now the next issue: Child sports. Training begins Middle June and season ends March. This sport is a travel competitive and has been played for 9 years, child is now 12. Mother and husband has signed and solely paid for this sport. Father struggles financially.

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What travel sport has this child played since age 3? Most travel sports don't really kick in until 9-12 (depending on the sport). Or do you mean that the child started playing the sport - as a rec - at 3, but started travel more recently?

@Jumanji

I apologize, for further clarification, Childs sport is Ice Hockey. Child has been playing rec from 3 years to 9. At 10 he went travel, he's 12 now. This upcoming season is a total of $4,110 without hotel and travel costs. Mom and Husband have always paid for all seasons, skates, sticks, outfitting, and on/off ice training. Mother and husband have never pressured father to return costs nor has father offered. Child puts heart and soul into hockey and his goal is to play for the NHL (all kids dream), have a college scholarship, or play for the Air Force Academy. He plays in a AA league. In 1 year from now scouts begin watching to recruit. To give a small taste of the season the commute to practice was 80 miles away in another state (1:15) twice a week. Mother and husband did the commute knowing they would be coming back to Arizona and be closer to the abundance of ice rinks being within a 20 min. Season games were every other week in states; North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and Florida. At this level the coaches resume must have played collegiately and a level 4 coach. Needless to say the sport must take a lot of commitment from Child and then parents. Tryouts are in May, weekly training begins end of June/early July, Season begins September, end Feb.

Child is very upset and has cried stating he just wanted his Dad to see him play and how far he has come (skill wise) since playing in Az. I thought I was doing the right thing by bringing child back to Dad so that Dad didn't miss out anymore than what he has, including hockey.

Nonetheless, in my opinion if Dad is sober great we can make whatever schedule work, just don't touch child sport. Hockey means too much to child.

Thank you for the clarification. I kind of figured that's how it was. Much of the difference between getting a result that works vs one that doesn't is in being meticulously clear. And honestly, much of what has been posted leaves it very unclear whether it's Mom or stepDad posting, what actual proof of drug use there is, etc.

I also had a sports kid, who played year 'round (field hockey) with the other parent living at a distance. As far as I know, he's never seen her play (unless he watched one of her college games streaming). In all honesty, the sports schedule you describe is untenable in a divorce situation. She knew that, if her Dadwanted her to spend time with her and it meant missing playing? That was how it would be. DID your son spend any of Dad's parenting time time in AZ? Or was it all spent in SC? A court is likely to see Dad's time as more important than 9 mos of continuous sports activity. Kiddo might have to miss some games over school breaks. And it will be up to Mom to explain to him why that is right and proper.

As to the drug use - what PROOF do you have that it is ongoing to an extent that would be detrimental to the child? At 12, he is well old enough to know to call authorities if he sees a problem, and you would be contacted if there were to be one. If kiddo spent time with Dad while y'all were/are in SC? Unsupervised? Your argument wrt drug usage might be blown out of the water.

I'd be talking to a lawyer.

jumanji

My apologies if anyone is unclear as to who is actually posting. I (Mother) am and have been original poster. I write a lot of reports and case studies. Education background B.S Substance Abuse Counseling, and current graduate degree in process for Addiction Counseling. I write a lot of papers. Wording such as this comes natural for me.

Your Question, "DID your son spend any of Dad's parenting time time in AZ?"
Answer: The 2 Christmas visits father chose NOT to exercise. Child spent only 1 summer parenting time visit with father for a total of 6 weeks. During that time father knew the North Carolina Coaches stipulations regarding being on the team and that child needed to be on the ice at least once a week. Father took child only twice, grandmother took child to rink all other time. Dad would always tell child "he needed to relax". Grandma would bring child to fathers home after rink where child then came to start recognizing these "weird skunk" smells to later inquire to mother after returning home to SC. Mother know what it is....... A child at 12 IS NOT going to call authorities on the parent they love, they are going to tell the other parent, which is this current situation. I don't feel comfortable explaining to my child or promoting him to call cops on his father. I feel there is plenty of family around that child can call to allow family/myself to give the proper intervention such as when Mother suggested Family Drug Court. Father is not a bad person, he just loves experiencing unreality. Hes really pleasant to be around and to co-parent with when hes thinking clearly.

Child is not aware of fathers past drug addition. Mother has kept secret. Past 2 emergency's were due to Cocaine. 1 of which was documented that child was with father the same day test positive. A couple years later mother exercised sole physical after fathers family members came to mother and said drugs were in the house and a CPS case was involved with father, girlfriend (at that time), and 16 yr old nieces attempted suicide. Mother told father to get life figured out. Father compiled, 3 weeks later father resumed his regular every other weekend schedule (w/o court action). Currently, we are here 2 more years later. Mother completely understands if father had been notably sober for 10 years, but that isn't the case. Father did however confess to mothers husband recently on the phone that he does in fact smoke marijuana. Of course Mother knows that his word is against his. The burden of proof should be on father which could have ended this suspension if he just took a test. In our court case father has taken 96 drug random drug tests. So, why wouldn't Father just take 1 more drug test to end this argument and get it off the table, to pursue a creative visitation plan. Nonetheless, no one can tell me that certain drug dealers ONLY deal marijuana.

Question: Do you feel father who moved and only been in a new state for 3 months supersedes child's 9 year long sport? In my opinion schedule is attainable since sports schedule was working before Dad decided to move. Father wasn't thinking of child and how child would be affected from his decision. Perhaps half visitation in TX & AZ for father?

Parent-child relationships are more important than a child's love of a game. It would be foolish to argue otherwise in court.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Parent-child relationships are more important than a child's love of a game. It would be foolish to argue otherwise in court.

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I dunno...if the child is old enough and good enough that scouts are already going to be looking at him then its not just the child's love of a game, its a potential scholarship and a potential career. If the child is good enough it would NOT be foolish to argue otherwise in court.