Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
OMG, the GAL! She requested and received a continuance because of the amount of witnesses I presented and then spoke to only 4 of the 21 I provided, stating, if she couldn't reach them then it was their responsibility to get back to her. She spoke to my mother, my aunt who was like a grandmother to my daughter, and two friends. Those were the four; a fifth friend was interviewed the day after she submitted her report to the court. One of my friends had been through alienation issues with his x and she basically discredited his testimony and comments because of her opinion of parental alienation. Additionally, she spent all of 40 minutes with me and my daughter which I found very odd. What did she say? She claimed that I was mentally and emotionally harming my daughter with nothing but the words from the parent as ammunition. As most non custodial parents do, I spoiled my daughter beyond belief but I ran up against a woman who portrayed herself as the poor victim. It's history but I will be seeking relief if at all possible.
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
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kcstone
Yes, there is an order for visitation but the judge claimed that she couldn't make my daughter see me if she didn't want to see me. This is a text book case of parental alienation and the Guardian ad Litem, who testified in court that she didn't recognize parental alienation, went on the war path against me including admitting a hastily prepared report that basically claimed me and my family weren't fit to have children. I brought forth witness after witness speaking of the great relationship that I had with my daughter and all the x brought was her new hubby and the GAL; unfortunately my daughter is culpable as the new hubby is a major earner and I'm sure there were promises made. I would think that judges would be weary of making non custodial parents pay out the nose when a child refuses to see a parent; it sets a dangerous precedent for alienation possibilities. My daughter is now 16 but this started shortly after her 14th birthday. Proof? Innuendo, accusations but no proof other than the biased GAL and and interview between the judge and my daughter.
This happened because your daughter is 16. Judges in Indiana generally will not force 16 and 17 year olds to visit a parent if the 16 or 17 year old demonstrates a reason that is something other than a "grass is greener" mentality.
And no, the idea that your child is colluding with her mother in order to make you pay more child support is grasping.
Something happened between you and your daughter (and perhaps your family as well) that made her not want to see you anymore. You KNOW what that is. The guardian ad litem recognized that and made recommendations accordingly.
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
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Mr. Knowitall
So, whether or not you believe it is fair, your child support order already takes into consideration the fact that you don't have visitation.
The Court changed/increased my support to reflect that I have no visitation and my point, or more specifically question, is, where is the check and balance to prevent custodial parents from doing what my x did, poison the child to where she didn't want to see me so she could get more support?
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
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kcstone
The Court changed/increased my support to reflect that I have no visitation and my point, or more specifically question, is, where is the check and balance to prevent custodial parents from doing what my x did, poison the child to where she didn't want to see me so she could get more support?
It's actually fairly rare for a child to be allowed to decide whether or not s/he visits the parent.
It's far more common when it has been proven that forced visitation is detrimental to the child's welfare.
So. What happened?
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
You seem to have the idea that there is a direct correlation between the amount of child support and seeing the child. I can assure you that it is by no means a given that the NCP not seeing the child automatically means that the CP gets more child support.
So what happened here?
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
What happened? That's the $64k question! Mr. Knowitall above would say that I KNOW what happened but like most people he's assuming that there's some deep dark secret, but there wasn't. My family, friends and church are all dumbfounded that a 14 year old would turn like she did and I/we have no doubt that it was alienation at it's worst. My daughter was active with our church, my family and loved traveling with me, and it all came to a screeching halt once the GAL became involved; it's that simple and I'm offended by knowitall's innuendo but it's easy to hide behind a post! She cut out cousins who were like sisters as well. I'll add that the other parent originally asked for no visitation in her orders and frequently interfered with my parenting time. She claimed that I attacked her early in the proceedings which caused me to take a lie detector test (I passed) proving she lied but polygraph results are not admissible in Indiana. My guess the bleeding heart GAL bought her victim's act and set out to get me, and she did. Interesting twist of fate; the GAL became incapacitated shortly after the hearings and had to leave her practice. I would never wish ill health on anyone but maybe karma came back and bit her in the a*s! She falsely claimed that she interviewed a former neighbor and his wife and then blamed her staff. Thanks for your comments and at the end of the day, I picked her as my spouse!
My x successfully petitioned the court for more child support as a result of me not being able to exercise parenting time. No parenting time, no parenting time credit!
Mr. Knowitall please accept my apologies as it was IIworking that made the assumption that I KNOW what happened! I can only assume that IIworking is a woman that believes everything a woman says is true and that a woman would never lie to get her way! My conscience is clear as I know that I was a good father and that the other parent was planning all along to remove me and my family from my daughter's life. Her attorney conveniently and deliberately left out the custody verbiage in the Mediated Agreement which caused the judge not to accept. I KNOW THAT HAPPENED!
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
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kcstone
What happened? That's the $64k question! Mr. Knowitall above would say that I KNOW what happened but like most people he's assuming that there's some deep dark secret, but there wasn't. My family, friends and church are all dumbfounded that a 14 year old would turn like she did and I/we have no doubt that it was alienation at it's worst. My daughter was active with our church, my family and loved traveling with me, and it all came to a screeching halt once the GAL became involved; it's that simple and I'm offended by knowitall's innuendo but it's easy to hide behind a post! She cut out cousins who were like sisters as well. I'll add that the other parent originally asked for no visitation in her orders and frequently interfered with my parenting time. She claimed that I attacked her early in the proceedings which caused me to take a lie detector test (I passed) proving she lied but polygraph results are not admissible in Indiana. My guess the bleeding heart GAL bought her victim's act and set out to get me, and she did. Interesting twist of fate; the GAL became incapacitated shortly after the hearings and had to leave her practice. I would never wish ill health on anyone but maybe karma came back and bit her in the a*s! She falsely claimed that she interviewed a former neighbor and his wife and then blamed her staff. Thanks for your comments and at the end of the day, I picked her as my spouse!
My x successfully petitioned the court for more child support as a result of me not being able to exercise parenting time. No parenting time, no parenting time credit!
Mr. Knowitall please accept my apologies as it was IIworking that made the assumption that I KNOW what happened! I can only assume that IIworking is a woman that believes everything a woman says is true and that a woman would never lie to get her way! My conscience is clear as I know that I was a good father and that the other parent was planning all along to remove me and my family from my daughter's life. Her attorney conveniently and deliberately left out the custody verbiage in the Mediated Agreement which caused the judge not to accept. I KNOW THAT HAPPENED!
You DO know that passing a lie detector does NOT mean that the accuser lied ... right?
Given how you've comported yourself here it's not difficult to see why you're in this predicament.
Pay your child support as ordered. Leave your child alone.
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
Teen-aged girls are funny critters. Sometimes things you'd never expect hit them badly. I know my ex will tell everyone that I did whatever it was that screwed up their relationship, but ..... nope. And it's sad.
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Dogmatique
You DO know that passing a lie detector does NOT mean that the accuser lied ... right?
Given how you've comported yourself here it's not difficult to see why you're in this predicament.
Pay your child support as ordered. Leave your child alone.
I'm not sure that I agree with leaving her alone. But definitely a soft touch and a gentle hand. Ask if she'll meet you for brunch, just to talk, and perhaps a walk after. No pressure, no anger at Mom (or kiddo!), just a sincere "I'm sorry we're in this position - what can I do to help change it?" That would have gone a long way with my youngest. And really listen to what she has to say.
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
She lied; I know it, she knows it and God knows it! It was a very calculated and deliberate plan by her and her attorney to poison the court against me and make her out to be a victim. You attorneys sure stick together!
Re: Do You Have to Pay Child Support Even Though the Child Doesn't Want to See You
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kcstone
She lied; I know it, she knows it and God knows it! It was a very calculated and deliberate plan by her and her attorney to poison the court against me and make her out to be a victim.
Be that as it may, what you do from here on out is up to you. Jumanji gave you an excellent suggestion. I will add to it and suggest you find a way to process your anger or you won't have a prayer at trying to salvage a relationship with your child. Even if your child has been poisoned as you say, you are not making the situation any better. Two wrongs do not make a right sir, and quite frankly, when it comes to who should be doing the right thing between a grown man and a teenager, you really should be the bigger person.