What Can You Do About Emotional Abuse by a Stepparent

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: New Jersey

Hello, I'm a 16 year old girl who was taken from her mom in summer of 2014. When i was placed with my father, my life changed. Though the court saw my mom's actions as neglectful, I never felt so depressed, humiliated, and unloved like I do with my dad's family. I truly love my dad but my relationships with the people in this households are unhealthy. I was taken from one extreme situation and thrown into another and now I need something in between.

Though I'm no longer physically abused with my dad, the things that are said to me have had a lasting affect. He calls me pitiful, pathetic, stupid, an a*s, and so on.

My stepmom is even worse though. She ignores me when i speak to her and let's doors slam in my face. One time she even pulled off with my leg still hanging out of the car. She yells and curses constantly. She's told people in front of me that she can't wait until I'm 18 so I can leave. They even want to force me to get a job and help them pay bills, meanwhile my older stepsister was expelled from school and acts out but isn't expected to do anything. They'd never take money from her. Plus, my stepmom has me walk over a mile home everyday, even in freezing weather and snow while she's out. Sometimes i have to wait a half an hour until she gets home to let me in. She leaves me home alone and goes out to bond with both of her daughters ALL the time. One of them she was going to let fight me in the past.

We've had family therapy before that was so explosive that they now refuse it all together. They even want to discontinue individual therapy DEMANDED by crisis because my stepmom said in front of me that the copay is way too expensive. Yet they have paid for my step sister (mentioned above) to go to modeling school. They left me to stop medication cold turkey without a doctors's consent when I was taken off of a physiatrist and my eyes haven't been checked in almost 3 years. I can barely see with these glasses.

I am cursed and yelled at in front of people. After I gave up trying to initiate conversations with my stepmom, my dad called me screaming and threatening because she told him I didn't say good morning. When I tell him how she treats me, he calls me a liar even when he wasn't there to see it. That's when the shaming begins.

They tell me that when I'm gone the house is peaceful and stress free and that I am the problem. My stress and depression got so bad once that I had lost 10 lbs from not eating in 4 days. This was because for a month I kept throwing up my food. My stomach was just always upset.

I feel like I am mentally raising myself. They ALMOST provide basic shelter and necessities but no emotional support. I only come out of my room to eat and use the bathroom so that they can't reject me anymore. It hurts too bad. I feel that this is harmful to me mental health. I plan to get a stable job and finally act on emancipation which I have been researching for quite a while. This is considered emotional abuse which may be grounds for emancipation. I have done calculations based on hours I can work while leaving time for schoolwork and I can handle this. I know it can be better than what is happening here. I just need to prove that this is happening. I have dated logs but how else can I prove this?

Thank you so much for your time and help!

This is considered emotional abuse which may be grounds for emancipation

It's not.

There isn't a teenager alive who doesn't think they are a victim of emotional abuse. And even so, we don't emancipate abused minors; we put them in foster care or group homes.

When you actually have a job that pays you enough to to provide 100% of what it costs to support you (that means the market rate for rent, utilities, food, clothing, medical care, insurance, transportation, staples, school fees and supplies, etc.) all on your own without any help, while still going to school and getting better than average grades, it will be time enough to talk about "proving" anything. A judge is going to want to see all of that FIRST. I'm talking pay stubs and a budget showing actual expenses and how the two connect, as well as your report cards showing that you're doing - not just well, but well enough so that your grades won't take a hit by all the extra work you're going to be doing once you're on your own. The judge will not even hear your reasons, let alone decide if you've proved abuse, until he is convinced of that. No job, no self-support - no emancipation. And no, there will not be an exception because your case is so exceptional. It isn't.

The judge will also be looking for evidence of better than average maturity and stability. The failed family therapy just might be a disqualifier for emancipation right there.

Emancipation is not and never was intended to be a means for a minor to leave a bad situation. It was and is intended to be a means to provide legal protections to those minors who, for reasons outside their own control, found themselves living on their own.

Now, if living in a group home or in foster care sounds better than the situation you're in, pick up the phone, call CPS, and tell them what's happening. If they agree that it would be in your best interest to be living elsewhere, they will place you somewhere else of their choosing. But if leaving home is only attractive if you can be on your own or living with a friend, sorry but it's not going to happen right now. Your reasons for wanting out are the LAST thing the judge will be listening to. You need the self-support angle to be covered FIRST.

If your dad and stepmom are abusing you tell someone. A teacher, a counselor. Call CPS. The cops. You don't have to have evidence to file a report. The police have the job of finding evidence during their investigation.

Why don't you want to get a job ? Dated logs mean nothing because they are just your opinion. Life is full of people that don't treat you the way you think you should be treated. You can't run away every time someone treats you in ways you don't like. If the therapist had an reason to believe abuse or neglect was going on, they are obligated to call the authorities.

Look at your attitude and behavior and not just the attitude and behavior of others. What did you do for your step mother to not trust you in the house alone ? Countless children walk to school in the rain, snow, heat, etc.