Re: Does an Unmarried Mother Have Sole Custody by Default
She is a child and she does what she is told to do. She does not get to decide.
Re: Does an Unmarried Mother Have Sole Custody by Default
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kaulana54
Yes, kudos to him for finally stepping up after 11 years of avoiding financial responsibility. I'll take whatever I can get. And yes, kudos to him for contacting her every night. I'm grateful for that for my daughters sake. After all, this is all about the child. Not me or her dad. Yes, if she couldn't move with me abroad, I would be sad but I have great concerns with the thought of having to leave her here with her father. The reason why she could not, should not, and does not want to live with her father is 1) SHE doesn't want to 2) he's extremely short tempered and verbally abusive. She doesn't like sleeping over his house even if it's for just one night because he's unpredictable and that scares her, I can't imagine having to tell her that she has to live with him....omg 3) he's an alcoholic 4) I can't prove it but I'm pretty positive he abuses drugs too. He's a party animal, has been, and always will be. He still goes about his ways as if he's still 20 years old even though he's almost 50. He's a fun dad, just not the responsible father type. The list could go on but that's the gist of it. Bottom line is SHE doesn't want to live with him. There is no pause or thought as to whom she wants to live with. She's not 3 anymore. She'll be 14 years old soon. I've had to get a restraining order on him before so there's that history as well. Like I said, it's all about the best interest of the child and her living with him is the last thing that should happen for the well being of this girl. I know that the international move away orders are extremely difficult....that's why I was inquiring about the legalities of my custody of her. Perhaps since she's old enough, the judge would allow her to choose with whom she wants to live with? What do you think?
Thank you for the detailed information. If I went to court to get sole physical custody, would that mean I could move abroad with my daughter or is that a different issue and would I need to get an international move away order along with the sole physical custody for the move to happen?
Most of the time kids don't get a say or to make decisions like this. Some judges MIGHT listen to what they have to say. Might.
Do you have a diagnosis from a medical professional that he's an alcoholic or drug addict? The fact he abuses drugs wouldn't really matter in visitation or custody hearing. The threshold for being a parent is extremely low in this country.
Re: Does an Unmarried Mother Have Sole Custody by Default
I have already discussed in detail with her about friends and social life issues. Fortunately for me, she has no problem with moving away. Her friends at school so far are mere acquaintances. She is in all advanced classes and focuses on her academics more than her social life, like most kids her age do. Her childhood best friend lives miles away and she rarely gets to see her but when they get together once or twice a year, they click right back as if time had never passed and lucky for us, her best friend visits her grandmother abroad every summer and my daughter can meet up with her then as well so the one important friend in her life, she will get to be in touch with. Her decision to move with me or not is not the issue here. It's her father. I'm trying to assess what rights I may or may not have and I think I'm seeing a pretty clear picture here.
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qwaspolk69
Most of the time kids don't get a say or to make decisions like this. Some judges MIGHT listen to what they have to say. Might.
Do you have a diagnosis from a medical professional that he's an alcoholic or drug addict? The fact he abuses drugs wouldn't really matter in visitation or custody hearing. The threshold for being a parent is extremely low in this country.
No diagnosis, he's a pro at it. Knows how to get around EVERYTHING. He also gets his "meds" from his doctors too.
Re: Does an Unmarried Mother Have Sole Custody by Default
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Quoting
kaulana54
I have already discussed in detail with her about friends and social life issues. Fortunately for me, she has no problem with moving away. Her friends at school so far are mere acquaintances. She is in all advanced classes and focuses on her academics more than her social life, like most kids her age do. Her childhood best friend lives miles away and she rarely gets to see her but when they get together once or twice a year, they click right back as if time had never passed and lucky for us, her best friend visits her grandmother abroad every summer and my daughter can meet up with her then as well so the one important friend in her life, she will get to be in touch with. Her decision to move with me or not is not the issue here. It's her father. I'm trying to assess what rights I may or may not have and I think I'm seeing a pretty clear picture here.
No diagnosis, he's a pro at it. Knows how to get around EVERYTHING. He also gets his "meds" from his doctors too.
I'm saying that in court you can't just label him as an alcoholic without some diagnosis. That's all.
Yes the issue is the father. I mean without him you would have no daughter. He has rights still whether you like it or not.