What are the Options of a Sex Assault Victim Who Prefers Not to Prosecute
My question involves criminal law for the state of: Oregon
When my fiance was 10, her brother 15, he sexually assaulted her and her sister. He was charged with the assault on the sister, but not my fiance. Now, 11 years later, they're looking at reopening the case because it just came to light that they didn't look at the assault on my fiance. However, they were all home-schooled, and their parents refused to give any form of sexual education. So none of them knew anything was wrong until the police were involved. Now, my fiance is going to be speaking with a detective in 2-3 days, and doesn't want to get her brother in trouble. She believes that it is their parents' fault for refusing to educate them, not her brother's fault. She would like to not ruin her brother's life, but she doesn't want to act like nothing happened anymore like she was forced to as a child. What are her options in this scenario? It's really upsetting her.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
She should tell the truth. Tell them what she remembers, and nothing about what she does not. Depending on the nature of the assault and the motivations, it could very well be that the brother has a problem and needs to be treated, punished, and/or removed from the possibility of harm to others. If he has an "illness" or abnormal predilection, he could be a risk to others and this must be addressed! Your fiance would not be doing anyone any good by lying or avoiding the police.
She should also consider seeking counseling for what happened to her. Her shifting the blame to their parents is not healthy. While her parents may have been partially at fault, perhaps, for creating some circumstance that may have permitted this to occur, the fact that they did not provide "sex education" to their children is a cop out and not an excuse for the brother's behavior at all.
So, my suggestion would be that she tell the truth as best she can recall. AND, she should seek counseling so that she might adequately come to grips with what happened.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
To add to the previous response, even if the parents had provided “sex education” that would not have prevented the brother from preying on his sisters. Most 15 year-old boys are not attracted to 10-year old girls nor are they sexually interested in their sisters. No one has to expressly tell them that this is wrong. Blaming the parents for not telling him that (assuming they did not know what he was doing) is misplaced. The brother is responsible for his own acts. If the parents knew but did not act to stop it then there is a whole additional layer of problems there. In that case the parents AND the brother share the blame for it. But nothing gets the brother off the hook legally or morally here. I agree, she ought to answer the questions honestly if she goes to the interview. It may make the difference in protecting some other child from being sexually mistreated by him. It is also what the law demands: lying to the police or in court could land her in legal trouble. She does have the option, though, not to speak at all unless she is served with a subpoena or summons. So her choice if she has not been served is either not go in for the interview at all or, if she does to, answer the questions honestly.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
While, typically, I would agree, but once he learned that the behavior was wrong, it immediately stopped. He is mentally slow, but when its explained to him, he catches on. None of them knew it was wrong at all until it became a legal issue. My fiance was preteen, her brother was 15. All home schooled.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
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DaddyNataka
While, typically, I would agree, but once he learned that the behavior was wrong, it immediately stopped. He is mentally slow, but when its explained to him, he catches on. None of them knew it was wrong at all until it became a legal issue. My fiance was preteen, her brother was 15. All home schooled.
None of which changes my answer. She should speak truthfully to the officers. What happens next will depend on the facts.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
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cdwjava
None of which changes my answer. She should speak truthfully to the officers. What happens next will depend on the facts.
Which is what I did tell her. I really wanted more insight into the legality of it. I mean, 11 years later, absolutely no incidents, and she has been through the counseling to get over the incident. She had recently forgiven him and suddenly boom, they brought it up with one year left on the statute of limitations.
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
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Quoting
DaddyNataka
Which is what I did tell her. I really wanted more insight into the legality of it. I mean, 11 years later, absolutely no incidents, and she has been through the counseling to get over the incident. She had recently forgiven him and suddenly boom, they brought it up with one year left on the statute of limitations.
Let me tell you that from a lengthy experience in this area, the fact that there are no incidents known to the sister does NOT mean that there have been no incidents. Far too many of these incidents go un-reported for a host of reasons, and those that are reported will often not be public record.
How will she feel if she lies or stays silent and then finds out that there are other victims that she could have helped with her truthful testimony?
Re: Rape Victim Doesn't Blame Rapist, but Wants to Do the Right Thing
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cdwjava
Let me tell you that from a lengthy experience in this area, the fact that there are no incidents known to the sister does NOT mean that there have been no incidents. Far too many of these incidents go un-reported for a host of reasons, and those that are reported will often not be public record.
How will she feel if she lies or stays silent and then finds out that there are other victims that she could have helped with her truthful testimony?
Fair enough, sir.