Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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qwaspolk69
(But you're not a stepparent either...just saying).
Well if your fiancée isn't willing to stand up for his daughter or address anything she says then he doesn't need to bitch about not getting enough time. No you don't take it to court. The court is not there to referee parents. They expect parents to be adults about things. Judges hate it when parents bring crap like that in front of them.
Also she's four. Keep that in mind.
I never said she DOES live out of a suitcase. I said if he asks for an overnight or more time on his off weeks she WILL feel like she lives out of suitcase. Maybe you should take a reading comprehension class...just a suggestion. If she were to have more time at her father's house than the standard parenting plan she would be living out of suitcase. WOULD not IS. Got it now?
Guess what? I would have loved an 80 minute round trip to get the stepkids than the 9 hour round trip I had when we lived in KS and then the 4 hour - 5 hour round trip we had when we moved to NE. 80 minutes to me would be nothing in getting stepkids or a significant others kids when I have had to travel a hell of a lot farther to get kids.
I guess you have your answer then. He's not going to get more time unless the mom gives it to him. Right now that's not happening. And the chances of "equal" or "joint" custody are highly unlikely too and it will never be equal.
I think you all do need a parenting class especially those two. It's not just the mom at fault here. Your partner isn't innocent either. He's just as immature as his ex. Both of them don't seem to be putting her needs forward (the daughter). You can argue all you want. I don't care.
He can ask for parenting class. He can ask for phone calls. That is probably going to happen. More time? No unless he goes and fights her for sole custody.
Im not saying you said shes going to live out of a suitcase. Other people have used that term. Like i said people kept saying that on here not just you.
Calm down please. Im not being rude.
They were suggested a parenting class by her school due to the issues. We are taking it. They are not. However what we have learned has helped us in our home immensely.
I am not arguing. We talked about drafting something up this weekend and presenting it to her. I just dont want it to get more ugly than what it already has. If we keep going it will.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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Funnygrl20
First off.. the stepmom thing was ONCE over 3 years ago and that was it. I am fine being called by my name. I dont feel forcing a child to call you mom or dad is approprite. You are not their mom or dad as a step parent.
Talking to the other mother was a while ago..I am just saying what i knew.
I do address that w my fiance but he says whats the point because she will deny it and then say she says the same about him so its pointless and the courts wont hear it anyway. Doesnt mean it doesnt hurt that she says those things. I do try to explain to her she can talk to me and its ok to have all of us as her best friends. She says no because mommy tells her no she cant.
Its just wrong to put that in a kids head. Sorry. Shes never said that til just recently.
Also she doesnt "live out of a suitcase". Why is it that is a response from a lot here? She has her own things at our house. The only "bag" that is packed is for her one class she has on weekends and we take her to when its our time. So she wouldnt ever live out of a suitcase no matter what the agreement is.
Like ive said. I know equal isnt going to happen. She starts pre k next year. We take her to school when we have her. Her mom also lives 40 min away from the daycare as well so shes in the car 80 minutes a day w all of us. So thats a wash basically.
Again. I know things arent going to go much more. I have tried to get him to work it out w her outside of court. Not that he doesnt want to hes tried. I just think that the more we go at each other (because her claims in court have been nothing short of attempts to control his time and limit interaction w his daughter not real issues petty stuff) it wont allow the situation to heal really.. it will just keep the issues fresh and no real resolution... and thats not good for his daughter moving forward.
Why in the world would any of you put a child in a daycare that is 40 miles away from EVERYBODY?
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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Funnygrl20
Im not saying you said shes going to live out of a suitcase. Other people have used that term. Like i said people kept saying that on here not just you.
Calm down please. Im not being rude.
They were suggested a parenting class by her school due to the issues. We are taking it. They are not. However what we have learned has helped us in our home immensely.
I am not arguing. We talked about drafting something up this weekend and presenting it to her. I just dont want it to get more ugly than what it already has. If we keep going it will.
Okay you guys do what you were told to do and don't worry about what she does. My lawyer told me to take the parenting class during our divorce. I did it. My ex calls me and asks me about it and "how am I gonna get the money for this?" (It was like $40). I said not my problem. Figure it out. He didn't. He has no visitation plan until he does.
He can present her all he wants but until the court changes the visitation or custody, it won't matter especially if she won't cooperate. Don't worry about what she does. He needs to do what he can with the time he has and someday it will probably come back to bite her mom in the ass.
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llworking
Why in the world would any of you put a child in a daycare that is 40 miles away from EVERYBODY?
40 minutes isn't necessarily 40 miles. My daughter's daycare is 13 miles from my apartment. It takes me 21 minutes average to get there. That's if there's not traffic. Then it's 25-30 minutes from work to there and it's only 18.5 miles.
It could take 40 minutes due to traffic, etc and not be 40 miles away.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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llworking
Why in the world would any of you put a child in a daycare that is 40 miles away from EVERYBODY?
She was in this daycare when she was a year old. Mom.chose to move 40 minutes away but keep.her in it because she thrives. My fiance agreed. Its actually like 30 min away from us.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
Living out of a suit case is simply a phrase to describe a situation where the child is constantly being shuffled back and forth between homes. Which is what happens with 50/50 custody. They tend to feel like they dont belong anywhere. Every couple of days they are packing up to go somewhere else.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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Funnygrl20
She was in this daycare when she was a year old. Mom.chose to move 40 minutes away but keep.her in it because she thrives. My fiance agreed. Its actually like 30 min away from us.
It won't, however be like that when the child starts school. She will be going to school in mom's district.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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llworking
It won't, however be like that when the child starts school. She will be going to school in mom's district.
Thats his concern. The school district they are in there is a lot of gangs and drugs and low test scores. We are hoping they move but we doubt it. Mom says she may homeschool her but she works for the county so i dont know how she will do that. Plus her older brother goes public and she has been in public daycare so far so to homeschool one kid and not the other would show poor motives (more time and control).
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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Funnygrl20
Thats his concern. The school district they are in there is a lot of gangs and drugs and low test scores. We are hoping they move but we doubt it. Mom says she may homeschool her but she works for the county so i dont know how she will do that. Plus her older brother goes public and she has been in public daycare so far so to homeschool one kid and not the other would show poor motives (more time and control).
So, now you are saying that he wants primary custody so that the child will go to school in his district? The odds of that happening are slim to none.
Look, what he wants is not going to happen. No 50/50 timeshare is going to be put in effect where it will not work with school...and it won't in this case. By the time that this gets fought out in court the child will either be in KG or will be about to start KG.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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llworking
So, now you are saying that he wants primary custody so that the child will go to school in his district? The odds of that happening are slim to none.
Look, what he wants is not going to happen. No 50/50 timeshare is going to be put in effect where it will not work with school...and it won't in this case. By the time that this gets fought out in court the child will either be in KG or will be about to start KG.
No thats not what i said. We are hoping she moves before she starts. He doesnt want primary as he would never take her away from her mom. If she doesnt move then he will have to have a conversation with her because he doesnt want her home schooled since shes been in public stuff since she was 6 weeks old.
Re: What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody
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Funnygrl20
No thats not what i said. We are hoping she moves before she starts. He doesnt want primary as he would never take her away from her mom. If she doesnt move then he will have to have a conversation with her because he doesnt want her home schooled since shes been in public stuff since she was 6 weeks old.
You really need to let dad sign up with his own screen name and get advice. You are naïve about how things work and I cannot tell if that is coming from you or from dad.