What Happens if Your Ex Contacts About Support for a Child You Never Knew About

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Maine & California (Case not yet filed)

I live in Southern Cali, moved here from Maine about 6 and half years ago. Have a loving family: wife and two children ages 2 and 4. Few weeks ago my ex from past contacted me via Facebook and told me that she never told me this before, but she got pregnant from me and we have an 8 year old boy. The dates do match when we broke up and the child does look exactly like me, exact copy of my childhood picture. So there is a high probability he is mine, and I do believe she would not have lied as we had normal relationship a decade ago and she was a normal descent human being. She claimed that she never intended to tell me about this, she just wanted a baby from me, but she lost her job in Portland, Maine few months ago and now needs me to pay the child support and support them $$$ financially.

I am still in shock, I'd never thought something like this would happen. But it did. I have not talked to an attorney yet, I have not told anyone yet about this, just researching everything I can online. My wife is an IT engineer and she makes $200K annually, while I make $70K (annual W2) in a research field. We have two children to support. We do have a home we recently bought and 30 year mortgage on it.

My questions are:

Can the mother, my ex in Maine go after our combined income? Can she go after my wife's income, since it is about 3 times greater than mine? If so, what are the approximate %-ges of net income usually courts allocate?
Can our house get confiscated from us? Does the court take in consideration we already have a family and two children?
What kind of formulas they use to determine and how?

Would be very grateful for your sincere answers.

She can only go after your income. Your wife's is not involved unless your ex has to seek some kind of garnishment, in which case any co-mingled funds in bank accounts could be affected.

No, they aren't going to take your house.

If she is just asking, you can choose to voluntarily provide her some money or you can force her to go through the courts.

Thank you for the prompt reply. I did not mention in my earlier post - my ex has asked me to provide $2,000 monthly at least, that's what she had requested that she needs. That amount is way over 50% of my monthly net income of $3,700 (after taxes and insurances are paid). And with two children to support, day care, two cars, insurance, etc... - other expenses, credit card debts and home mortgage (that I share with my wife) - I am unable to provide such a large sum of money. I voluntarily can contribute up to $600-$700 per month - maximum, that's the best I can, but that does not seem to satisfy her request.

So it looks like we will have to go through courts. That's why I am afraid she might try to go after my wife's income if such a possibility exists.

Will it be California court since I reside here? Or do I need to show up in Maine?

What formula does the court employ? 25%? 30%? 40%? Do they take in consideration other expenses (such as debt, mortgage, etc..) for two children or they do not care?

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Quoting Mike202020

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Does the court take in consideration we already have a family and two children?

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No. The court will only care about your obligation to your child.

Quote:

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Quoting Mike202020

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What kind of formulas they use to determine and how?

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Here's a guide from the Maine courts. It includes a calculator.

http://www.courts.maine.gov/maine_co...d_support.html

Suggestions:

1 - Demand a paternity test. There are literally thousands of posts on these legal websites of disasters that include the words "I trusted." 325,000,000 people inhabit the US. Plenty of people look like other people.

2 - If you are proven to be the father, fly to Maine ASAP and meet your son before you agree to anything. Insist that you and he be part of each others lives.

3 - Make any agreement for child support IN WRITING, mark your checks as CHILD SUPPORT. That way, if it ever gets to court you get credit for it. Too many have missed that little nicety and end up paying all over again because it "wasn't child support."

You should see a lawyer about number 3 even if you are willing to pay child support.

I personally would not pay anything until paternity has been established. Once this occurs, you can be court ordered to pay child support based off of your income. Your wife didn't make the baby so she is not obligated to support the child therefore her income would not be a factor. As mentioned before though, any co mingled funds could become fair game if it comes to garnishment.

Once paternity is established, you will be within your rights to seek visitation. Likely, since the child doesn't know who you are, you would have short introductory visits in the child's hometown. Eventually, this will be increased to overnights and a good portion of school vacations should you seek them. If it is determined that you are the father of this child, I HIGHLY suggest getting a councilor involved to help ease the transition for the child.

I am sure this all has come as a shock to you. It is incredibly important that you treat the situation delicately. It is not the child's fault that they are in this situation, and your choices from here on out can have a major impact on them.

One last thing. You are under no obligation to support "them" financially. If you are the father, you are obligated to help support the child financially. This is in the form of child support, which mom can spend however she wants. But Mom should not be expecting to live solely off child support.