My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York.
L is a FTM transgender individual. He carried and gave birth to Y prior to transition in 2010. Y is 6 years old now and has always called L "daddy" and E (L's short- term girlfriend at the time of the birth) "mama" When L and E split, 2011, E told him to take his baby with him. He could not raise a baby alone, and was addicted to alcohol and cocaine. E's mother, J, offered to help him by keeping the baby for 1 year while L got his life together. During that time, L had weekly visitation as per the temporary court order.
He got clean, has stable housing, ECT. During that time, E had no legal rights to Y, and made no attempt to see her, raise her, or bond with her with the exception of when she happened to be at her mother's house anyway. In 2012, when L refiled for full custody, E decided to also file for partial custody. J also acquired an attorney and wanted to fight for permanent custody. In mediation, L was warned that he would likely lose custody entirely and perhaps remain with only weekly supervised visitation should he decide to go to court. He agreed to a 3- way custody split. 50/50 parenting time with E, and J gets daily access after- school. Citing Bennett v Jeffries. In 2013 E had a child of her own with her then boyfriend.
This year alone, E's behavior has been erratic. She abruptly kicked out her long- term boyfriend. She has had 4 significant others (All living with her, sometimes several at the same time) since January. One of whom was abusive towards her and L's daughter. L asked E multiple times to not have h around Y. Each of her partners were active in raising Y. E would leave town for work for her entire parenting time and Y would be with a boyfriend or "tucked in by the downstairs neighbor." Y told us that mom's boyfriend woke her up out of bed and washed her private parts in the shower saying "we're doing something different now" L filed for full custody of Y in February.
As we approach the court date, E has changed jobs so that she wont have to travel, has left her abusive polyamorous relationships, is living in a new apartment where ex bf "can't find her." We were told all of our concerns are irrelevant now because she has fixed the problems. She now lives in an apartment with a friend. Both children sleep in a nook off of the living room that leads to the upstairs porch. They sleep on a bunk bed. E gave Y's mattress to her son when he grew out of his toddler bed and never have her another one. She sleeps on a deflated air mattress on board of plywood on the top bunk. She can only watch tv shows and do activities that are developmentally appropriate for younger son. Y cannot join any ec activities because E will not agree.
E never takes her to any doctor or dentist, and never has saying it's because she doesn't have a car. E will not agree to send her to a better school because her son may not be able to get in and so "she has a real problem with charters" If Y is sick, she stays with L. Y was with L the entire summer except EOWE because E could not take her to camp (down the street.) Now they are back to the CO 50/50. Y is with J on all of E's weekdays from the time she wakes up until bedtime, before and after school. J had said she does not want to continue battling for custody. E wants the custody agreement to remain the same Y has said she wants to live with L and his wife full time and "just visit mama" L is fighting for sole decision making rights and primary custody, giving E 1 daw and eowe.
Is it possible that he will get the outcome he seeks?
How to Get Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental Guardian
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12-29-2016, 08:05 AMRmjam1992How to Get Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental Guardian
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12-29-2016, 08:12 AMOhiogalRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental Guardian
Where is the actual father of this child and was he sued for custody?
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12-29-2016, 08:33 AMRmjam1992Re: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental Guardian
L was sexually assaulted. The biological father is unknown.
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12-29-2016, 01:08 PMllworkingRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianL has a shot. There is enough going on that L has a shot, but I would say his odds are about 50/50 at best.Quote:
Quoting Rmjam1992
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12-29-2016, 01:12 PMOhiogalRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianDid L report the sexual assault or not?Quote:
Quoting Rmjam1992
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12-29-2016, 03:49 PMRmjam1992Re: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianNo he didn't report the assault, it is just documented in the family court paperwork that he doesn't know who the other biological parent is and that he has attempted and failed to find him.Quote:
Quoting Ohiogal
Is E on equal footing with L due to the custody agreement or will biology or parental status be a factor?Quote:
Quoting llworking
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12-30-2016, 03:42 AMOhiogalRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianThen the assault didn't happen and the biological father would need served by serving John Doe. That is an issue. The custody agreement gives E equal footing if it was made a court order.Quote:
Quoting Rmjam1992
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12-30-2016, 03:49 AMllworkingRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianIts an iffy situation. Personally, had he gone to trial in the first place I do not think that E would have gotten anything at all because E was not a parent, even on a de facto basis. J had a chance of winning primary custody because the child had lived with J for the past year, but it wasn't a slam dunk for J at all. I do not know who advised him that he would lose the case, but I think that he perhaps got bad advice.Quote:
Quoting Rmjam1992
Its harder to undo something like that than it would have been to never let it happen in the first place. However, with the situation the way it has been, and the fact that E is not a parent or relative of the child at all, L has a shot at it. -
12-31-2016, 06:50 AMRmjam1992Re: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianHe's been in the family court system since 2011, and it has never been presented as an issue. Served to do what? Are you saying that a random man who raped someone in a bathroom public can take this child somehow?Quote:
Quoting Ohiogal
He has made documented attempts to find the biological father, and has DNA tested 3 men that could have possibly been the father.
Can you explain how he could go about serving him, or in what way it is an issue in terms of custody?
Again, no lawyer or judge that we've met has ever brought up the issue since the initial meeting in 2011. -
12-31-2016, 09:23 AMllworkingRe: Getting Primary Custody Back from a Non-Parental GuardianIf no lawyer or judge has ever had an issue with it since 2011 then its unlikely to be a problem.Quote:
Quoting Rmjam1992