Child Care and Child Support

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California.

Well my situation I feel is a little different than most but I'm sure someone has been in the same boat. My wife and I are married. She has one daughter from her previous relationship and we are having trouble with her dad. They were never married.He doesn't want to pay for childcare because he says he doesn't need it. My wife and I both work full time jobs. I don't have a set schedule because I'm a truck driver and my schedule is set on customer requests/orders. My wife has a set schedule 7:30 to 5 Monday through Friday.

My wife is the custodial parent and her ex is non custodial. He at one point was paying a minimal amount of child support but he lost his job and couldn't seem to get back on his feet. I talked to my wife and we both decided lets just close the case and move on. He agreed at the time to pay half of the child care costs. Fast forward a few months and he lands a decent job in retail. We enroll our daughter into school and he agrees to pay half of the cost. Well a couple months later he hurts his back and is barely getting disability. We agreed to suspend the childcare for the month of December and planned on continuing in January. Well time to enroll her in child care and he doesn't want to pay. He says we are the only ones that need it and doesn't want to pay it. I know he is getting a disability check. He lives with his parents In a paid off house and I'm sure it's minimal in any bills if any that he pays.

I'm not sure if he plans on returning to work seeing as he wants to transfer her to a school close to his house. Doing so would eliminate child care costs for him. Not having child care for myself and my wife doesn't work because of our schedule. Being able to drop her off in the morning and picking her up before six is a great option for us. So if talking to him doesn't get us anywhere, my question is how do you think it will play out in court? I'm worried about being ordered to pay him child support because he chooses to not work and keep a steady full time job.

He also lives with his girlfriend of a few years and she currently is not working herself, she is in school. What do you think are the chances of myself and my wife having to pay him child support? I mean, a part of me is thinking how can he pull this when we closed the old case they had open so he didn't have to pay anything at all. We are planning to talk about the situation but I don't know how it is going to play out. He has threatened us before saying he can file child support against us because we make more. Just doesn't sit right with me. What do you guys think? Thank you for your time.

If he's getting disability, he will be able to show the court that he CANNOT work - it's not the same as WILL NOT work. Yes, it's possible that Mom could end up paying some child support.

His girlfriend, and you, are completely irrelevant.

The Dr in his case said he is released to be working at 75% but his boss said he needs him at 100%. It is temporary disability. Why not put him on a cash register to comply with the 75%? I would be considered irrelevant even though we are married?

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Quoting Avhs05

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The Dr in his case said he is released to be working at 75% but his boss said he needs him at 100%. It is temporary disability. Why not put him on a cash register to comply with the 75%? I would be considered irrelevant even though we are married?

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Marriage confers no legal rights to anything involving your wife's child. None. To put it simply, you have no more input than I - and the law cares not one jot about what you think should or shouldn't happen.

Not your business.

Ok good to know. I appreciate the response, thank you! Guess I'll have to sit and enjoy the ride!

I agree with the other responses that you received but I would like to point out that your wife certainly should not agree to the child changing schools, and its unlikely that a court would require it. Your wife could also reinstate regular child support which may or may not be able to be collected, but might be better than just hoping he will voluntarily contribute.

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Quoting llworking

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I agree with the other responses that you received but I would like to point out that your wife certainly should not agree to the child changing schools, and its unlikely that a court would require it. Your wife could also reinstate regular child support which may or may not be able to be collected, but might be better than just hoping he will voluntarily contribute.

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Thanks for your response! Funny thing is I have been thinking about ways to make it work with her changing schools, but it just won't work! We are both in the same boat now about not Changing her schools and keeping her here where the day care program is cheaper than the school he wants to put her in. I feel like since we share 50/50 with him we would have to pay him since he is not currently working and when he is working we both combined make more than he does. I just don't understand, it's not like I'm asking him to pay child care and child support. I just want half of the cost for her child care and health insurance!

You need to be a little bit careful here. You shouldn't be asking him to pay anything. This is your wife's issue and you can be there to support her, but she is the one that needs to fight this battle. You fighting it, or even appearing to pushing her to fight it is not going to go over well should this end up in court. You could be viewed as overstepping, while not illegal, will also not win you any points with the judge and could hurt Mom in the long run.

Your wife is the custodial parent. Is this spelled out in a court order? You say that the mother and father have 50/50 custody, does this extend to the ability to make decisions legally such as switching schools? These sorts of things are often spelled out explicitly in the custody decree. My advice would be to just say no, if the mother has primary custody, and play chicken. Perhaps dad will blink. He certainly would have the financial incentive to do so. In order for him to be paid CS have to become the custodial parent whcih would require returning to court. At some point it has to stop being a negotiation. Your wife is the primary, make use of that position and see what happens. That said, I have been accused of utilizing rather extreme methods to pursue my ends and my advice can, at times, reflect that.

What do you mean that CS case was closed? I would presume that, this too, was court ordered? Often as CS is also court ordered rescinding it should also be a court action, not something that you must decide beyond just letting him skate. Alas, I'm about to walk out the door and cannot look it up for your state.

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Quoting Avhs05

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Thanks for your response! Funny thing is I have been thinking about ways to make it work with her changing schools, but it just won't work! We are both in the same boat now about not Changing her schools and keeping her here where the day care program is cheaper than the school he wants to put her in. I feel like since we share 50/50 with him we would have to pay him since he is not currently working and when he is working we both combined make more than he does. I just don't understand, it's not like I'm asking him to pay child care and child support. I just want half of the cost for her child care and health insurance!

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Dude - you don't seem to get it. YOU have no part in the custody situation. Your wife and DAD have 50/50 custody. Not you. You will never be ordered to pay him support, thouh SHE may be. You have no place to ask anything of him. None. You are not a party to the case.