Is It Possible to Obtain Custody of Niece and Nephews

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama

Good evening. I am going to try to provide as much details as possible.

I am EXTREMELY concerned about the welfare of my niece (12) and nephews (5 & 7). Like myself, my sister is a single mother. She has an older daughter (17) whom my mother has custody of (sister signed over rights). My 12 year old niece was staying with my parents from the age of 4 until this past August (sister never signed over rights). My mother said she was getting out of hand, but deep down inside, I really feel my sister got my niece from my parents because she needed someone to watch the younger boys while she worked. Financially, my sister is struggling (even with govt benefits), so she can't afford child care. Since my niece has moved back in, she has lost her virginity and my sister put her on birth control. Niece has been getting into trouble at school and all my sister does is physically punish her. I have talked to sister to see if she could get into some type of counseling, but it is always excuses. Sister would rather spend time "running the streets" with other family members instead of spending time with her children.

Tonight around 5pm, the kids called me because they haven't eaten since 7AM!!! I was damn near in tears because of this. Yes, I am a single mother, but I am financially stable. My daughters (ages 5 & 7) share a room and I have 2 extra rooms that I am not using. I am a stay at home mom, so I can give them the attention they need. As far as finances, I am medically retired from the military, so I am able to provide for them (including medical insurance). I purchased my home on last year and the elementary school is literally in my backyard.

As far as sister and the kids, I am really afraid that something is going to happen. My niece has gotten suspended from school twice, my oldest nephew constantly acts up, and my youngest nephew is behind. I can't even blame it on her work schedule (2p-10p) due to when she is off, she still will leave the kids in the house by themselves instead of catching up on school work or just bonding with her kids, period. Financially, I help her out as much as I can, but I am getting tired of that because she has a decent full time job but instead of paying bills, she buys weed.

My apologies if I am all over the place, but I am just fed up with her treating my niece and nephews that way. What do I need to do? I am not looking for any type of financial assistance from her. I just want them in a positive environment while she gets herself together. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Unless you want to get child protective services involved and if the mother is deemed unfit, the only option you have is your sister allowing her children to stay with you, either with or without a formal guardianship in place. If cps is involved there is no guarantee the children would end up with you.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama

Good evening. I am going to try to provide as much details as possible.

I am EXTREMELY concerned about the welfare of my niece (12) and nephews (5 & 7). Like myself, my sister is a single mother. She has an older daughter (17) whom my mother has custody of (sister signed over rights). My 12 year old niece was staying with my parents from the age of 4 until this past August (sister never signed over rights). My mother said she was getting out of hand, but deep down inside, I really feel my sister got my niece from my parents because she needed someone to watch the younger boys while she worked. Financially, my sister is struggling (even with govt benefits), so she can't afford child care. Since my niece has moved back in, she has lost her virginity and my sister put her on birth control. Niece has been getting into trouble at school and all my sister does is physically punish her. I have talked to sister to see if she could get into some type of counseling, but it is always excuses. Sister would rather spend time "running the streets" with other family members instead of spending time with her children.

Tonight around 5pm, the kids called me because they haven't eaten since 7AM!!! I was damn near in tears because of this. Yes, I am a single mother, but I am financially stable. My daughters (ages 5 & 7) share a room and I have 2 extra rooms that I am not using. I am a stay at home mom, so I can give them the attention they need. As far as finances, I am medically retired from the military, so I am able to provide for them (including medical insurance). I purchased my home on last year and the elementary school is literally in my backyard.

As far as sister and the kids, I am really afraid that something is going to happen. My niece has gotten suspended from school twice, my oldest nephew constantly acts up, and my youngest nephew is behind. I can't even blame it on her work schedule (2p-10p) due to when she is off, she still will leave the kids in the house by themselves instead of catching up on school work or just bonding with her kids, period. Financially, I help her out as much as I can, but I am getting tired of that because she has a decent full time job but instead of paying bills, she buys weed.

My apologies if I am all over the place, but I am just fed up with her treating my niece and nephews that way. What do I need to do? I am not looking for any type of financial assistance from her. I just want them in a positive environment while she gets herself together. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Where is/are the father/s of these children?

One father is in prison, one isn't in the picture, and the last one barely can take care of himself (he resides with a family member and gets SSI). She doesn't receive child support or any type of assistance from them.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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One father is in prison, one isn't in the picture, and the last one barely can take care of himself (he resides with a family member and gets SSI). She doesn't receive child support or any type of assistance from them.

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They would have to be notified of any court/legal action concerning their children.

If the children are being neglected, call child services. You can also encourage them to speak with their school counselors.

To clarify, is it the 12 year old who lost her virginity?

Yes, and since then, she has still been sexually active while mom is at work.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Yes, and since then, she has still been sexually active while mom is at work.

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You know about this - and you've done nothing? Why?

That's why I'm reaching out. I have tried to reach out to my niece to be listening ear, just in case she is afraid to talk to my sister. I told my sister that she should seek some type of family counseling, but sister doesn't think the issue is with her, but with with her dad. I have went over to sisters house on a few occasions to sit with the kids and to make sure they are okay. All of this happens while sister is at work.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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That's why I'm reaching out. I have tried to reach out to my niece to be listening ear, just in case she is afraid to talk to my sister. I told my sister that she should seek some type of family counseling, but sister doesn't think the issue is with her, but with with her dad. I have went over to sisters house on a few occasions to sit with the kids and to make sure they are okay. All of this happens while sister is at work.

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Hon, I'm trying to get you to see how this looks.

You know a child is being sexually abused and you've done nothing about it.

I know you're going to hate that I wrote that, and that's fine. But you need to FOCUS on what's important here. Please help this child.

Just looked up the statue for Alabama regarding sexual abuse, and didn't realize it was sexual abuse due to it being consensual, but I see now, she can't consent due to her age. I really hate to get CPS involved, but something has to be done. Thank you for the responses.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Just looked up the statue for Alabama regarding sexual abuse, and didn't realize it was sexual abuse due to it being consensual, but I see now, she can't consent due to her age. I really hate to get CPS involved, but something has to be done. Thank you for the responses.

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It's not consensual because she's 12. 12 year olds can't consent to sex legally - with anyone. Even someone the same age. Do you know how old the person is that she is sexually active with? Or are there multiple people?

You need to either convince her to let the kids live with you or allow her and the kids to move in. OR you need to call CPS and the police. Those are about your only options if you want to help the kids.

I have no idea. All I know is she has had boys at the house on multiple occasions. Sister went home on break one day and a kid jumped out the window from the second floor. The first time, multiple boys were over, but she only had sex with one. They stole a few items out of her house. She was afraid to call the cops because of her age.

I have been talking with her this morning, and she did admit that she needs the help, so hopefully they will come stay with me at least for the remainder of the school year, but i am going to see if she will let me get guardianship over my niece, the same way she did with her oldest daughter and my mom.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Just looked up the statue for Alabama regarding sexual abuse, and didn't realize it was sexual abuse due to it being consensual, but I see now, she can't consent due to her age. I really hate to get CPS involved, but something has to be done. Thank you for the responses.

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I'm sorry, but this makes me think you're not yet suited to take care of a child full time.

You didn't realize a CHILD couldn't legally consent to sex? You truly didn't know this? It wasn't obvious?

This seriously, honestly concerns me greatly.

And both CPS and the police STILL need to be notified.

I have never been through this and didn't even think about sex when I was that age. I was still playing with barbie dolls and turning cartwheels. I never thought to look into these laws. I have 3 cousins that had kids at the age of 12 (one was pregnant at 11). I dont know why the school didnt report it because she did say the principal did tell her about the rumors. I am raising kids of my own and I am doing a damn good job of it. I am just trying to get those kids out of that environment. Think everything just happened over the past month.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Just looked up the statue for Alabama regarding sexual abuse, and didn't realize it was sexual abuse due to it being consensual, but I see now, she can't consent due to her age. I really hate to get CPS involved, but something has to be done. Thank you for the responses.

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a child that age cannot consent to sex ergo there is no such thing as consensual sex involving a 12 year old. There is a crime being committed each time there is any sexual contact.

I'm amazed your common sense didn't bring you to a similar conclusion without reading the law.

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Quoting jk

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a child that age cannot consent to sex ergo there is no such thing as consensual sex involving a 12 year old. There is a crime being committed each time there is any sexual contact.

I'm amazed your common sense didn't bring you to a similar conclusion without reading the law.

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My apologies, that was a typo. I meant not consensual, as you can see when i said "she can't consent due to her age:.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Yes, and since then, she has still been sexually active while mom is at work.

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No. She is being raped. REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE for GOD'S SAKE. Or Child services. Why don't you care enough to do that?

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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That's why I'm reaching out. I have tried to reach out to my niece to be listening ear, just in case she is afraid to talk to my sister. I told my sister that she should seek some type of family counseling, but sister doesn't think the issue is with her, but with with her dad. I have went over to sisters house on a few occasions to sit with the kids and to make sure they are okay. All of this happens while sister is at work.

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Your niece is being raped. You know it. You have done nothing. You shouldn't have custody of a dust bunny. For crying out loud, you are pathetic. As is everyone else that knows this child is being raped.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Just looked up the statue for Alabama regarding sexual abuse, and didn't realize it was sexual abuse due to it being consensual, but I see now, she can't consent due to her age. I really hate to get CPS involved, but something has to be done. Thank you for the responses.

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You are pathetic.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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I have no idea. All I know is she has had boys at the house on multiple occasions. Sister went home on break one day and a kid jumped out the window from the second floor. The first time, multiple boys were over, but she only had sex with one. They stole a few items out of her house. She was afraid to call the cops because of her age.

I have been talking with her this morning, and she did admit that she needs the help, so hopefully they will come stay with me at least for the remainder of the school year, but i am going to see if she will let me get guardianship over my niece, the same way she did with her oldest daughter and my mom.

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No. YOU are NOT a fit person for them to stay with. YOU ALLOWED YOUR NIECE TO BE CONTINUOUSLY RAPED. Hopefully the courts and a GAL get involved and this child is removed from your whole family because your stupidity and allowing the child to remain in harm's way being raped.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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I have never been through this and didn't even think about sex when I was that age. I was still playing with barbie dolls and turning cartwheels. I never thought to look into these laws. I have 3 cousins that had kids at the age of 12 (one was pregnant at 11). I dont know why the school didnt report it because she did say the principal did tell her about the rumors. I am raising kids of my own and I am doing a damn good job of it. I am just trying to get those kids out of that environment. Think everything just happened over the past month.

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No you aren't doing a damn good job. Your cousins were also raped. The children need to be in foster care away from you and everyone else in the family because NONE OF YOU cared that the 12 year old was being continuously raped.

Just so we are clear, I absolutely think something needs to be done to protect this child, but what happens if the boy in this situation is also 12?

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Quoting readytoleave

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Just so we are clear, I absolutely think something needs to be done to protect this child, but what happens if the boy in this situation is also 12?

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Either they will both get in trouble or neither will get in trouble. However, they both might very well get yanked from their homes and put into foster care.

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Quoting readytoleave

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Just so we are clear, I absolutely think something needs to be done to protect this child, but what happens if the boy in this situation is also 12?

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Depends. Both are acting inappropriately and both should be dealt with. If the boy is older, he is going to be charged with a sex crime.

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Quoting Raster

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OP.....get the 12, 7, 5 year old to safety...like yesterday if possible ...let's not worry about some seriously misbehaving boys just yet. And your sister is part of the problem not the solution.

A 12 year old girl deserves somebody who cares....

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Thank you. I definitely agree, and I am making preparations for all 3. They are being supervised over this Christmas break and will be out of that environment before the New Year.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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Thank you. I definitely agree, and I am making preparations for all 3. They are being supervised over this Christmas break and will be out of that environment before the New Year.

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So the authorities are investigating, yes? Good.

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Quoting VeryConcerned

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I have no idea. All I know is she has had boys at the house on multiple occasions. Sister went home on break one day and a kid jumped out the window from the second floor. The first time, multiple boys were over, but she only had sex with one. They stole a few items out of her house. She was afraid to call the cops because of her age.

I have been talking with her this morning, and she did admit that she needs the help, so hopefully they will come stay with me at least for the remainder of the school year, but i am going to see if she will let me get guardianship over my niece, the same way she did with her oldest daughter and my mom.

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So wait, your sister (this 12 year old's mom) SAW these kids at her house. Knows they were not supposed to be there. They stole stuff - and she didn't call the cops because she was worried about her daughter? When my daughter is 12 and I come home from work and I see a bunch of little shitheads in my house who aren't allowed to be there I will call the cops on every single one of them. If I find out my daughter had sex with one of them, first I'm gonna put her ass on birth control. Then I'm going to make sure she doesn't see those kids again. If I find out the ages of the kid she had sex with I'm going to call the cops especially if it's someone over 18.

How would you not know that a 12 year old can't consent? You didn't know that children can't consent to most anything? Minors legally can't consent to a lot of things. It doesn't matter what you did at 12. As an adult you SHOULD know that children cannot consent to sex!! No matter how old the other kid is.