Re: Baffling Situation, Grandma vs. Unfit Teen Mom
Quote:
Quoting
Pythia
Everyone who knows her knows what she is doing while out because she puts it all over the internet. The boyfriend was very abusive according to the teen. Hitting, choking, slamming her head around the car while driving. Baby is in the car. This of course is all over her fb wall. Him bantering back and forth with her on her wall. Other girls saying he was abusive during their relationship. Hundreds of comments from tons of people. It's a trainwreck. It has resulted in grandma thinking baby would be safest in her custody legally.
I have two comments on this. First, if Grandma knew the boyfriend was abusing her daughter, why didn’t she do whatever she could, including going to court to get a restraining order against him and reporting his assaults to police, to keep him away from her? Why didn’t she step in to protect her daughter? This is exactly why I suspect that Grandma may have her share of blame for her daughter’s and grandchild’s situation and why, absent knowing all the details, I would question whether Grandma is an appropriate choice for custody of the grandchild if the mother were proven unfit.
Second, you speak of the relationship with the boyfriend in the past tense. That suggests he is no longer in the picture, right? If that’s true, then whatever occurred with him in the past cannot be used now to support a change in custody since that boyfriend is no longer a threat to the child (if he ever was — he may have only ever been a threat to the mother, not the child).
The bottom line here is that custody will not change if the mother objects to it without the mother being found unfit. That takes a lot more than been a teen and going out partying. But if the mother is found unfit there is a risk that Grandma could come under fire for her role in caring for her daughter. After all, part of what you allege is unfit behavior by Grandma’s daughter that is putting the grandchild at risk are things that Grandma ought to be able to control and prevent. I feel bad for the grandchild since, based on what you’ve said so far, I’m getting the impression that perhaps neither Mom nor grandma really are great candidates for custody. Nevertheless, the law does not demand that parents be great. It only requires that they not abuse or severely neglect their kids. Unless the granddaughter is doing that, Grandma really has no shot at getting custody over the mother’s objections. And Grandma might not really want a DCFS investigation in her house if she is unwilling to take the steps necessary to control her own daughter.
Re: Baffling Situation, Grandma vs. Unfit Teen Mom
Mark47n, and cdwjava I would like to thank you for your insight and advice. It's nice to get the advice I came here for from people who know what they are talking about. I'm not sure why other members get so confrontational and judgemental but I have seen it on other threads as well.
I almost didn't post here to ask for input because I have read other threads and certain volunteers seem kind of rude and just seem like they want a debate or argument. It doesn't seem like they are here to give help and advice. seems like they are here to give answers that are discouraging, inaccurate and rude to people who are caring and need legit legal advice.
In one post some one was asking advice about an abandoned infant left at their house and was told in a very rude manner that she was the one in the wrong. Pretty sure child abandonment is illegal every where and good cause to bring a case to court. Also the poor lady was addressed rudely in my opinion for simply trying to do what's best for an infant she cared about enough to provide for and raised for ten weeks out of love and kindness. Sad seeing people come for help and get treated that way. It will result in a loss of traffic for this website eventually when there is avvo out there.
Quote:
Quoting
Taxing Matters
I have two comments on this. First, if Grandma knew the boyfriend was abusing her daughter, why didn’t she do whatever she could, including going to court to get a restraining order against him and reporting his assaults to police, to keep him away from her? Why didn’t she step in to protect her daughter? This is exactly why I suspect that Grandma may have her share of blame for her daughter’s and grandchild’s situation and why, absent knowing all the details, I would question whether Grandma is an appropriate choice for custody of the grandchild if the mother were proven unfit.
Second, you speak of the relationship with the boyfriend in the past tense. That suggests he is no longer in the picture, right? If that’s true, then whatever occurred with him in the past cannot be used now to support a change in custody since that boyfriend is no longer a threat to the child (if he ever was — he may have only ever been a threat to the mother, not the child).
The bottom line here is that custody will not change if the mother objects to it without the mother being found unfit. That takes a lot more than been a teen and going out partying. But if the mother is found unfit there is a risk that Grandma could come under fire for her role in caring for her daughter. After all, part of what you allege is unfit behavior by Grandma’s daughter that is putting the grandchild at risk are things that Grandma ought to be able to control and prevent. I feel bad for the grandchild since, based on what you’ve said so far, I’m getting the impression that perhaps neither Mom nor grandma really are great candidates for custody. Nevertheless, the law does not demand that parents be great. It only requires that they not abuse or severely neglect their kids. Unless the granddaughter is doing that, Grandma really has no shot at getting custody over the mother’s objections. And Grandma might not really want a DCFS investigation in her house if she is unwilling to take the steps necessary to control her own daughter.
I agree taxing and thank you for your input. Great points. Grandma has only recently found out about this dv stuff and had no idea it was happening until they broke up. He is out of the picture but should he start doing anything wrong the police will get called.
Quote:
Quoting
BooRennie
If Baby is being abused/neglected, why has no ADULT stepped forward and dropped that dime to CPS?
Like taxing said the abusive boyfriend is gone now and it would be irrelevant to DCFS. They would only screen it in for information. Also grandma doesn't want DCFS involved for obvious reasons i already discussed. This situation is not a good looking one for Grandma in my opinion and seemingly everyone else's here.
Re: Baffling Situation, Grandma vs. Unfit Teen Mom
Quote:
Quoting
Pythia
Sadly it's not always parents' fault when children make these kinds of choices. Grandma needs to do something to prevent this situation from getting worse. The mom is still a child and still growing up. As of now she has turned out to be a rebellious teenager. She is not the first or last. Even stellar parents end up with teenagers that rebel or worse. Look at how the Mendez brothers turned out.
Everyone who knows her knows what she is doing while out because she puts it all over the internet. The boyfriend was very abusive according to the teen. Hitting, choking, slamming her head around the car while driving. Baby is in the car. This of course is all over her fb wall. Him bantering back and forth with her on her wall. Other girls saying he was abusive during their relationship. Hundreds of comments from tons of people. It's a trainwreck. It has resulted in grandma thinking baby would be safest in her custody legally.
I'm not sure why many of you would assume I'm just making baseless accusations to have a good time on a Saturday night. Obviously I came here for good reason. what she is doing is abuse and neglect. Period. There is proof it occurred all over the Internet. It is neglect and it is backed up by proof.
So there is "proof" of abuse toward the teen and the baby but you nor her mother/the grandmother reported it? Really? You just sit by while teens and babies are abused? I'm sorry but if I saw one of my friends post that her boyfriend was beating the shit out of her I would call the cops. And if the baby was near all this I would CALL THE ****ING COPS! You are just as much responsible IF there is abuse going on if you saw this posting and did nothing.
Then again just because someone posts something on Facebook doesn't mean it's true.
No we are just assuming that something weird is going on because you keep adding and adding to the story.
Quote:
Quoting
Pythia
Mark47n, and cdwjava I would like to thank you for your insight and advice. It's nice to get the advice I came here for from people who know what they are talking about. I'm not sure why other members get so confrontational and judgemental but I have seen it on other threads as well.
I almost didn't post here to ask for input because I have read other threads and certain volunteers seem kind of rude and just seem like they want a debate or argument. It doesn't seem like they are here to give help and advice. seems like they are here to give answers that are discouraging, inaccurate and rude to people who are caring and need legit legal advice.
In one post some one was asking advice about an abandoned infant left at their house and was told in a very rude manner that she was the one in the wrong. Pretty sure child abandonment is illegal every where and good cause to bring a case to court. Also the poor lady was addressed rudely in my opinion for simply trying to do what's best for an infant she cared about enough to provide for and raised for ten weeks out of love and kindness. Sad seeing people come for help and get treated that way. It will result in a loss of traffic for this website eventually when there is avvo out there.
I agree taxing and thank you for your input. Great points. Grandma has only recently found out about this dv stuff and had no idea it was happening until they broke up. He is out of the picture but should he start doing anything wrong the police will get called.
Like taxing said the abusive boyfriend is gone now and it would be irrelevant to DCFS. They would only screen it in for information. Also grandma doesn't want DCFS involved for obvious reasons i already discussed. This situation is not a good looking one for Grandma in my opinion and seemingly everyone else's here.
Do you have stock in Avvo or something? You sure do plug it a lot on here. Then go to Avvo and get advice from lawyers. This is just a forum to get GENERAL INFORMATION!!! READ THE DAMN DISCLAIMER!
Re: Baffling Situation, Grandma vs. Unfit Teen Mom
The post was made on her Facebook page in an argument after they broke up. Obviously the cops were called. Because he denies it and there is no "proof" a crime was committed nothing was done as police enforce laws not gossip. It's his word against her word. No marks or solid proof to back up the girls claims. I'm adding to the story because people keep asking for more details that were not included in the first post. So I add those details in.
Wish I had stock in avvo that place is golden. I did go there but posted here as well.
Re: Baffling Situation, Grandma vs. Unfit Teen Mom
Quote:
Quoting
Pythia
The post was made on her Facebook page in an argument after they broke up. Obviously the cops were called. Because he denies it and there is no "proof" a crime was committed nothing was done as police enforce laws not gossip. It's his word against her word. No marks or solid proof to back up the girls claims. I'm adding to the story because people keep asking for more details that were not included in the first post. So I add those details in.
Wish I had stock in avvo that place is golden. I did go there but posted here as well.
So she very well could have made all that up about her boyfriend abusing her right?
Honestly if I were you I'd mind my own business on this one because you're just going to cause someone a lot of trouble. You should have put ALL the FACTS in the OP.