ExpertLaw.com Forums

Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce

Printable View

  • 12-05-2016, 01:19 PM
    madisontitus
    Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    hi, my name is Madi, i am 17 and the child of a high conflict divorce. my parents have been in this litigation for a little over 2 years now. my father moved out for 2 months staying in a Marriott residence Inn. he then came back, and my mom moved out shortly after. my father is very abusive, verbally and physically. he has been arrested twice for domestic violence against my mother. he has knocked down doors, thrown things across the room, etc. when i was 8, he grabbed my arm dragging me up the stairs into my room and slammed the door. for not finishing my chicken nuggets. that's just one example of how his anger has sky rocketed.

    anyways, i had been living with my mother full time (by choice.) and earlier this year (around january) i was not attending school due to major mental illnesses. i could not get out of bed, but this school year i have only missed one day since it started in August. it was my mother that had been there for me, cheering me on and she was the one that was really urging me to go, which i also felt i was ready for. fast forward almost 4 months ago. my parents had a court date regarding my custody situation. this was only a question because of my truancy last year. they were urging me to attend a 35k private school that was over an hour away. at this point, i was still attending school. currently have all A's and B's. at the court date, they asked my father if he would take full custody of me and try to get me to go to this BS school despite me doing just fine at my current school.. he said yes. i refused to go to his house, and he called the cops to take me to him. they convinced me i needed to go, or else my mother and i would get in huge trouble and my mom could go to jail. so i went, not getting to say goodbye to my mom. not to mention my father told me he would NOT force me to go to that private school. so, he lied to the judge.

    my mom got 0% custody of me. 0. an abuser got 100% custody of me, and my little sister (8) has 50/50 custody. they had another court date about a month later. they said i could see my mom every weekend sat. 9am - sun. 7pm. they disregarded the fact he didn't take me to that school. i got to see my mom, awesome. another month later, they decided i shouldn't see her anymore. no visitation again. then ANOTHER court date, last Thursday they determined i get every other weekend till i'm 18. now, my mother is my best friend. i love her to the moon and back x10. it may seem like no big deal since i DO get some visitation, but i don't want to be living with an abuser, being fearful he may hurt me yet again.

    would it be difficult to get emancipated? i feel i have no other choice. my mother is totally fine with me doing that.

    i cannot stay where i am. i can't go to a group home or such because i can't move schools. this is the first time i am succeeding and i cannot ruin it.

    thank you, i'm sorry this is long. this is my first time posting on a legal forum website. any further suggestions or comments is appreciated. thank you again.
  • 12-05-2016, 01:57 PM
    Mark47n
    Re: Emancipation for 17 Year Old
    Not happening. You aren't self supporting, you've been truant and suffer from a mental illness. All marks against you. Emancipation isn't an escape hatch. It's a means for a self supporting minor to gain the ability to be party to a contract.

    How long until your 18? As it would be months before it would even come up before a judge (yes, you have to go to court) you may as well just suck it up and view this as your first lesson of adulthood: life isn't fair and you just need to get through the bad times.
  • 12-05-2016, 03:15 PM
    Shadowbunny
    Re: Emancipation for 17 Year Old
    Madi, your one example of abuse (and I use the term loosely) happened at least 9 years ago. Courts don't limit visitation without a good reason; you either don't know the full story or you're leaving big, big chunks of the story out now.
  • 12-05-2016, 06:01 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: Emancipation for 17 Year Old
    Quote:

    Quoting Shadowbunny
    View Post
    Madi, your one example of abuse (and I use the term loosely) happened at least 9 years ago. Courts don't limit visitation without a good reason; you either don't know the full story or you're leaving big, big chunks of the story out now.

    She doesn't know the whole story.
  • 12-05-2016, 06:14 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Emancipation for 17 Year Old
    Madi, parents in this country have incredibly well-protected rights. It takes an awful lot for a court to limit those rights and while it's true that sometimes a child slips through the gaps, on the whole if a parent has limited access to their child there's a damn good reason behind that decision.
  • 12-05-2016, 07:10 PM
    No_Angel
    Re: Emancipation for 17 Year Old
    Madi, I am so sorry for what you are feeling. I hope you turn 18 soon, and in the meantime, perhaps keeping contact with your mom by phone will bring you some comfort. I wish you all the best.
  • 12-06-2016, 06:11 PM
    qwaspolk69
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    Did anyone call the police when he abused you? Did you tell anyone?
    No you have not been living with your mother by your choice. It’s by your parents’ choice. Now your dad has custody and if he was so abusive I find it hard to believe they would just give him full custody over your mom. You don’t get to decide which parent you live with. Yes your mom could have gone to jail for you not going to live with your dad.

    Again it’s pretty odd him being so abusive your mom didn’t get any custody of you. Yet she got joint with your sister? You apparently don’t know what is going on because you are missing huge chunks of the story as others have stated.

    You need to read the stickied threads about emancipation. No you can’t get emancipated. How are you going to take care of yourself?
    I think there’s a lot more to this story than has been posted. When you are the legal age of majority in your state you can do whatever you want. You can live where you want. You can see who you want and so on. Until then you live with your father.

    If he’s abusive you need to call the police or tell a teacher or a counselor at school.
  • 12-06-2016, 07:12 PM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    Sounds like a case of parental alienation.
  • 12-06-2016, 08:37 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting Ohiogal
    View Post
    Sounds like a case of parental alienation.

    Really?...because it does not sound like that to me at all. Not even remotely...and don't get snarky with me about it. This child is 17 and is going to be no longer subject to custody/visitation orders in less than a year, and it really sound like some family counseling would be in order. On top of that, even if alienation actually happened its too late to do anything about it as far as the long term relationship between the dad and the child...unless dad admits to his faults in the long term relationship and works to mend them.
  • 12-07-2016, 04:32 AM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Really?...because it does not sound like that to me at all. Not even remotely...and don't get snarky with me about it. This child is 17 and is going to be no longer subject to custody/visitation orders in less than a year, and it really sound like some family counseling would be in order. On top of that, even if alienation actually happened its too late to do anything about it as far as the long term relationship between the dad and the child...unless dad admits to his faults in the long term relationship and works to mend them.

    Based on what alienation is, yeah, that is what it sounds like. Mom alienated the children from dad. And succeeded with OP. How about you not get snarky with ME about it?
  • 12-07-2016, 05:26 AM
    readytoleave
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    I kind of thought the same thing about it sounding like parental alienation. That could explain why custody went to Dad.
  • 12-07-2016, 07:16 AM
    llworking
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting readytoleave
    View Post
    I kind of thought the same thing about it sounding like parental alienation. That could explain why custody went to Dad.

    Yeah, but we are talking about a 17 year old. Judges rarely do something that is totally against the wishes of a 17 year old...because it usually does more harm than good. Her younger sister has a 50/50 schedule so obviously the courts do not think that mom is unfit.

    This child is going to see age 18 as freedom from dad day and is going to leave and is never going to look back. If dad is not the abuser he is made out to be, how is the judge's decision going to help anything?
  • 12-07-2016, 08:22 AM
    readytoleave
    Re: Can a Teenager Get Emancipated Due to a High Conflict Divorce
    But the judge did completely disregard the 17 year olds wishes. So there must be a reason. Even if parental alienation wasn't the main reason for the change in custody, I get the feeling it is still there. Especially since they were originally going for modification based on the truancy, but that had already been corrected.
    I got the feeling about alienation based on the original post which stated that the 17 year old was living with Mom "full time (by choice)," (not by Court order) indicating Mom was allowing the child to refuse visitation, and the police needing to be involved in order to force her to comply with the court order after custody was granted to Dad. I could be completely wrong, but it was a feeling I got when reading the original post.
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:09 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.4
Copyright © 2023 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2004 - 2018 ExpertLaw.com, All Rights Reserved