Modifying Custody to Allow Older Teens to Avoid Moving From Their Community

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oregon

Background:

A week and a half ago, I received a call from my ex telling me that her and my two boys are moving into her parents house in Portland. It was a Wednesday morning. Until this this point my kids lived with their mom, step dad, and step siblings in a town that is an hour and a half from Portland. My kids have spent most of their lives in this town and have been enrolled in school there since they started kindergarten. The oldest boy is now 17 and a junior in high school, his younger brother is 15 and is a sophomore. They literally found out without warning, that they were moving on the actual morning that they had to move. They woke up to their mom telling them to pack up their stuff.

I was surprised that this was going on I thought something horrible had happened. That seemed like the only real reason that someone would pull their kids out of school mid-week let alone pull them out of the town where they spent their entire lives. I personally was happy that they were moving closer to me and I have always wanted that ever since they moved an hour and a half away back in 2005. However, after talking with my kids and getting some insight from their step dad on the situation I found that they were not kicked out, or even asked to leave by a certain date. Yes, step-dad and mom were separating but he was going to move out and let her and my sons live there, for free.

I have talked with my kids about all the options, moving in with me, staying with mom at grandparents and even going back to their home. They want to go back to their home. Even though I want them with me, I know that it is in their best interest to be back home. They are very involved in school, sports and the local community. They have friends that are like family, and their step dad is a stand up guy and always has his door open for them.

The kids have wrote letters and spoke to thier mom many times in hope that she would let them go back home. We have come to the conclusion that we need to get the court involved.


* I have Joint custody
* Ex and step dad have a child (11) (he stayed back with step-dad)
* Ex has had a history of mental health issues for the past 3 years (it was kept hidden from me until now)
* They are now attending a new high school and have been for 1 week now (she did that behind my back)


My Question:

What are the best steps to take in order to get my children in front of a Judge to hear them out? I have already spoke to my kids on how this situation can get awkward but they are ready to do what it takes to get back home. I want to help them do that, as my main concern is to see them happy.

Thank You

Ya lost me. Who is remaining in the other town (not Portland) they would live with?

if the mother is moving to Portland and you don't live in the other town, well, there is no place for them to live unless the custodial parent allows them to live there.

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What are the best steps to take in order to get my children in front of a Judge to hear them out?

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You file a petition with the court for a change in custody. If you don't know how to do that, you hire a lawyer.

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I have already spoke to my kids on how this situation can get awkward but they are ready to do what it takes to get back home. I want to help them do that

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Unless stepdad adopted your kids I doubt if any court is going to put them back with the stepdad if their Mom isn't also living there.

So, unless you want to foot the bill (rent, utilities, food, etc) for Mom and the kids to relocate back where the kids were going to school it isn't going to happen.

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I have Joint custody
Ex and step dad have a child (11) (he stayed back with step-dad)
Ex has had a history of mental health issues for the past 3 years (it was kept hidden from me until now)

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Realistically, I doubt if any of that is going to be relevant in court. The legal standard for being a parent is set extremely low.

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They are now attending a new high school and have been for 1 week now

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They will adjust because they will have to.

A judge will do one of two things.

Most likely leave the kids with the Mom wherever she is.

Least likely order that they live with you.

Either way, you and the kids need to just accept the fact that sometimes bad things happen in life that you have no choice but to adjust to.

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Quoting jk

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Ya lost me. Who is remaining in the other town (not Portland) they would live with?

if the mother is moving to Portland and you don't live in the other town, well, there is no place for them to live unless the custodial parent allows them to live there.

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Step dad is remaining in the other town with their 11 year old half brother. I know, this is not a normal situation but they have lived in his house for the past 11 years. I have been speaking with step dad and they are welcome to come back and live there. See, they weren't forced to leave by any means. All mom. My oldest son is 17 I feel a judge would be open to allowing him to express what he wants and that would carry a lot of clout.

Thanks for the reply

You can feel all you want but since apparently my has residential custody and you are not arguing the child live with you, the judge would be out of
line to take mom's rights and squash them and let the child live with a legal stranger.

Judges are not going to let kids live with people who legally have no custody over them. Sometimes kids have to move. That's life. I feel like instead of bowing to them you just explain to them or have their mother explain why they're moving.

There were a lot of things I didn't want to do as a kid. I had to do them anyways. My youngest brother didn't want to move to another state when my mom left my dad and took him with her. But he did. (Granted my dad should have fought for custody). Lots of military kids get uprooted on a daily basis. That's life.

You have already gotten your answer. It's pretty unlikely they are going to live with the stepfather. It's either you or mom they live with until legally adults.

Agreed. Unless Mom agrees, they're not going to be living with StepDad no matter how wonderful he is. The court will not override Mom's right to custody unless YOU are actually challenging her custody. Not Stepdad, but you. In fact, the court won't even hear the matter unless you're challenging custody.

And no, you can't get custody yourself and then let them live with StepDad over Mom's wishes.