Visitation Rights

My dad is not a very good father. (Actually he's a drunk who beats people.) And I don't want him near me or any of my family. How is it possible for me to take away his visitation rights so he's not aloud to come close to me or talk to me? (I may only be 13 years old but believe me, I've thought it all through and I want this man out of my life.)

Does he beat you or your siblings? I assume you live with your mom. What does she say about the situation?

He has beaten his girlfriend and raped her with me and my brother in the room. My mom says that I need a father so I would also like to know if it's possible that I can do this without her. She's right: I do need a father... but not him.

Did you tell your mom that you witnessed the rape? I'm not a lawyer, so the only advice I could offer you is my opinion as a mom of a 13 year old. I believe you could call the police and report what you witnessed, but that will not guarantee an end to your father's visitation rights. Instead, if charges are brought against your father, you may have to testify in court in front of him. If you are afraid of him, you should discuss the situation with your school counselor or minister.....and continue talking to your mom about your feelings with regard to your dad.

See, this is where it gets complicated. It's not that I'm scared of him. I have a mjor guilt problem. I tried telling him that it's either a daughter or alcohol (I bet you can't guess whcih he chose...) and he made me seem like the bad guy. I just know that if I see him in court, I will take it all abck.

I've tried talking to my councillar about it (the one from school, my mom cannot afford any other ones) but she just wanted to know everything so she could tell other teachers. In the end she started stalking me because I found out that every single teacher in the school knew what I was going through and I refused to see her anymore.

I would've reported him, but he has threatened me and my family. Everyone knows that he will follow through with his threats.

All I want to do is to be able to stop worrying that everytime I turn a corner he might be there. I don't want him near me, I don't want the guilt and responsibility that comes with him, and I don't want anymore blames or insults that comes from his mouth. (His nickname for me is Fat Cow... I'm almost anorexic because of him)

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Quoting Lawyer Wannabe

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See, this is where it gets complicated. It's not that I'm scared of him. I have a mjor guilt problem. I tried telling him that it's either a daughter or alcohol (I bet you can't guess whcih he chose...) and he made me seem like the bad guy. I just know that if I see him in court, I will take it all abck.

I would've reported him, but he has threatened me and my family. Everyone knows that he will follow through with his threats.

All I want to do is to be able to stop worrying that everytime I turn a corner he might be there. I don't want him near me, I don't want the guilt and responsibility that comes with him, and I don't want anymore blames or insults that comes from his mouth. (His nickname for me is Fat Cow... I'm almost anorexic because of him)

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Honey, you are contradicting yourself. Are you scared of his threats or not? Is he threatening bodily harm to you or your family? Is there another adult you can talk to, such as your grandparents or an aunt or uncle? Perhaps someone else on this forum will have better suggestions for you. The only other alternative I can think of is for you to call Child Protective Services, but realize that that would also implicate your mother if CPS determines you are being abused or neglected or placed in danger.

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Quoting Just Breath

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Honey, you are contradicting yourself. Are you scared of his threats or not? Is he threatening bodily harm to you or your family? Is there another adult you can talk to, such as your grandparents or an aunt or uncle? Perhaps someone else on this forum will have better suggestions for you. The only other alternative I can think of is for you to call Child Protective Services, but realize that that would also implicate your mother if CPS determines you are being abused or neglected or placed in danger.

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Ok... lets see... I'm not scared of him. But hearing him say over the phone "Cheryl, what the *BEEP* did you do to my daughter? I swear that if she does not *BEEP* smarten up then I am going to *BEEP* come over there and fix her myself!" does make me a little shaky. He's done this to his best friend too, but to a higher extent. All the adults I could talk to have turned on me. (There was only one... my adopted aunt Danielle, but now she tells mom everything I tell her not to tell anyone.)

Then you should leave this to the adults to handle. Continue confiding in your mother, though. Let her be the judge of whether further action is necessary.

Ok, I'll try it. Thanks for your help.

You are welcome.....I'm sorry I don't have an easy answer for you. Take care!