Can a Parent Take Custody After Leaving the Children With the Other Parent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: mother 'abandoned' child
hello, i actually have a question if someone can help me. i would like to know some rules for abandoned children by mother.
Someone I know, Who's wife left house and two kids (7 and 9) with father. she was gone for 4 months or so and then she came back and want to see the kids. but kids dont want to see her at all.
My friend filed divorce the very next day after she left. She hasnt signed the papers and not planning to do it. i dont know whats in her mind. after she left kids were tormented and very upset. they were doing bad in school and at home, but thank God they are better now, also doing great in school. Father told the kids that she wants to see them, kids went crazy again. they said they would like to go to judge or someone so they can tell them that they dont want her in there life. I asked kids why dont they want to see her, they told me that she was a bad mother. She never took care of them. She was always talking on the phone, she would not feed the kids, she would make the little girl (who was like 5yrs old at that time) make her clean the bathroom and bedroom. When her older brother was hungry he would tell his mother and she would be on the phone and she would not feed him so the little sister would make sandwich for him. Now the girl is 7 and boy is 9, and they hate there mother. They are living with there grand parents and father who are taking care of them. Kids are very scared that there mother is back and wants to see them. They told me that they dont want to go with her. The boy had a dream and he woke up crying that his mother came to school to pick them up and she paid the teacher and they were not doing anything, he was screaming that he doesnt want to go with her and call his father. but when he woke up he was scared and worried. kids go under stress when they think of her.

please help my friend so please tell me what are the rules in this case. if mother left kids and now she wants to see them but kids dont. Is there anything that they can do that she can stay away from kids.

We cannot help without knowing which US state you ... or, rather, the parent ... is in.

If the parents are in the US, both parents have EQUAL rights to the children until a court order says otherwise. Mom hasn't legally abandoned anybody and Dad needs to understand - FAST - that the children WILL NOT be making the decision whether or not they want to see the other parent. These are two very small children who need help coping with their parents separation; they do NOT need to be paraded in front of a judge and given such an awful burden of making that sort of decision themselves.

They live in Illinois, west suburbs. The mother moved to tx and now she is back and leaving in some shelter and working part time job which she never worked in her life.i totally understand that kids are young, but if the children went to mother they will not be happy. we have to see the children happiness. they are happy with there grandparents and there father.

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Quoting amee786

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They live in Illinois, west suburbs. The mother moved to tx and now she is back and leaving in some shelter and working part time job which she never worked in her life.i totally understand that kids are young, but if the children went to mother they will not be happy. we have to see the children happiness. they are happy with there grandparents and there father.

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You don't seem to understand what you've been told.

Children have no inherent right to be happy, for one thing. They do what they're told, when they're told to do it - and these children are RIDICULOUSLY young to even have to consider "choosing" whether or not they want to see their other parent.

Mom has the absolute right to see her children - just the same as Dad. They are equal. Do you understand?

And seriously, you need to quit harping on Mom. She's never had a job before which you criticize... but now she has, right? So she's in a better position than before ... right? Right. Exactly.

Amee, who are you in this? And I agree with Dogmatique.

In addition, you need to stay out of it. This is between the Mom and Dad. You should not be questioning the kids at all about why they don't want to see their Mom. It's none of your business. Dad should get on board with the fact that he will have to end up co-parenting with Mom and figure out what he can do to help his children have a good relationship with their mother. He should also look at getting the children into counseling if they become as stressed as you say.

I have to wonder out loud, just how much subtle or none-too-subtle Mom-bashing is going on ... a surefire way of stressing out young children. Do parents and others not realize how perceptive children actually are? They pick up on everything. Even if you don't verbalize it. Good mood, bad mood, every sigh, every rolled eye, every sneer. And no, I don't believe for a split second there's nothing of that nature happening. Why do I say that? Because humans are inherently lousy at hiding their true feelings ... unless of course they're sociopaths. Make of that what you will.

In my perfect world parents would indeed love their kids more than they hate their ex. Alas, my perfect world doesn't seem to exist.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I have to wonder out loud, just how much subtle or none-too-subtle Mom-bashing is going on ... a surefire way of stressing out young children. Do parents and others not realize how perceptive children actually are? They pick up on everything. Even if you don't verbalize it. Good mood, bad mood, every sigh, every rolled eye, every sneer. And no, I don't believe for a split second there's nothing of that nature happening. Why do I say that? Because humans are inherently lousy at hiding their true feelings ... unless of course they're sociopaths. Make of that what you will.

In my perfect world parents would indeed love their kids more than they hate their ex. Alas, my perfect world doesn't seem to exist.

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Dogmatique, I also wonder how accurate this info is. Mom not feeding the children and other things could be made up to make mom look bad because she left. It sounds like dad's anger at mom for her leaving is the main problem. Problems between mom and dad should not involve the children. Unfortunately, many parents see their children as weapons to be used to hurt the other one. In cases like this, the children are the ones that are hurt short and long term.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I have to wonder out loud, just how much subtle or none-too-subtle Mom-bashing is going on ... a surefire way of stressing out young children. Do parents and others not realize how perceptive children actually are? They pick up on everything. Even if you don't verbalize it. Good mood, bad mood, every sigh, every rolled eye, every sneer. And no, I don't believe for a split second there's nothing of that nature happening. Why do I say that? Because humans are inherently lousy at hiding their true feelings ... unless of course they're sociopaths. Make of that what you will.

In my perfect world parents would indeed love their kids more than they hate their ex. Alas, my perfect world doesn't seem to exist.

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Nor does mine but I do manage to get my clients to believe it more often or not and that is working towards perfection!

well im the aunt. i didnt wanna mention my infor but now i am. the guy is my brother. i know you dont know me but i dont make up stuff to make people look bad. im speak the truth. About making up stories about mother, well she did all these things. Few years ago , she picked up kids from school while everyone was at work and she falsely accused my brother and she took the kids to shelter and kept the kids away from father, grandparents for one day. My brother end up going to the judge the same day because one of the officer told him to do that. My brother told the whole story to judge that he was at work and she picked up kids and left, then he got a call from police that the wife and kids were at the police station. The judge end up taking his side and gave notice that the police with my brother go and pick up the kids. After picking up the kids they were very upset. My brother made a mistake that he also brought her (wife) back home thinking she might change. The court date came and kids were checked up and the favor went to my brother that she accused him falsely. At the court date the judge took my brother side stating that she has no right being alone with the kids. if she takes them she need permission of my brother. We still have have those letters and all. After 3 yrs later she end up doing this. leaving kids with dad and grandparents and now she wants to see them. My niece and nephew talks to me more. they are the one who told me that they dont want to see her even thou we are telling the kids to at least talk to her.
about not feeding and all, its all true. she never fed kids on time, made my niece clean bathroom and bedroom when she was only 5yrs old. NOW WHO DOES THAT.

thats y i wanted to know some information about custody to one parent.