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Can Your Ex-Spouse List You As Being Responsible for Medical Bills

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  • 08-29-2016, 02:06 PM
    DLMinKS
    Can Your Ex-Spouse List You As Being Responsible for Medical Bills
    My question involves collection proceedings in the State of: KS

    My husband's ex-wife lists my husband as the financially responsible party every time she takes their son to a doctor, dentist, etc. Their divorce agreement says that he must carry insurance for the son (he does; and it's good insurance), that he pay a substantial child support payment (he does, always), and that she is responsible for medical out-of-pocket and co-pays. Is she allowed to disregard the divorce agreement and list him as financially responsible? According to the medical office and the bill collector they've hired, she can list anyone she wants and they are entitled to come after him for payment. How can this be right? The unpaid bills are now substantial (close to $1000), but aren't that much more than one month's child support. So my questions are : 1) is she legally allowed to list someone as financially responsible without their consent? 2) Is the medical clinic and bill collector required to desist from putting this to his charge (destroying his outstanding credit record) and contact her for payment once we tell them that she is legally required to pay these bills? 3) How do we fix this problem? Talking to her isn't going to work, obviously. It may be worth noting that she has never in the 8 years I've been around, shared ANY medical information (I contacted the allergy clinic and got the needed information to provide the medications he needed at school myself - thankfully, the clinic WAS willing to help me with that), educational information, or anything else that requires any decision, with my husband in spite of their having joint custody. She is singularly uncooperative about complying with a number of very specific details in their formal parenting agreement and has backed out on informal but very important agreements we've made about education and other issues after getting what she wanted from us (for example : my driving several hours per week for several years during elementary and middle school to take him across town to the school she wanted him in, then backing out on allowing him in return to attend HS near us (in one of the best schools in the state) - and constantly asking me to again drive him across town to attend one of the worst high schools in the area - she's willing to leave him stranded if I don't comply). Mom has convinced son that his friends near us "aren't really my friends; they're just people you make me go to church with" and so on. My husband feels there is no point in going to court as the court would always tend to side with the mom and it would just cost us a lot of money.
  • 08-29-2016, 02:52 PM
    Taxing Matters
    Re: Can Ex-Wife List Dad As Responsible for Medical Bills
    She can list anyone she wants. However, her telling the medical provider that your husband is financially responsible is pretty much worthless for the medical provider. Absent a contract in which he agrees to be liable for the bill the provider would lose in court suing him for payment of the bills. But if he wants to fix getting the bills and phone calls collecting for this he will need to go to court to do it. His view that the court will always side with the ex is not only not correct but is self-defeating. He has no chance to change it if he doesn’t even try. He needs to get the backbone to challenge her and make sure she pays what the order says she is liable to pay.

    By the way, the allergy clinic very likely violated federal law in disclosing your step-son's medical information to you. Although you may not like hearing this, since you are not his mother you should stay out of this sort of thing. It will only inflame the ex and make things even harder. Your husband is the father, and it's up to him to deal with things like the medical needs of his kid. I know you probably just want to help your husband out, but I've seen too many situations in which the “helpful” step-parent oversteps his/her role and makes the relationships involved worse rather than better to know that it doesn’t often work out well.
  • 08-29-2016, 03:02 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can Ex-Wife List Dad As Responsible for Medical Bills
    Quote:

    Quoting Taxing Matters
    View Post
    She can list anyone she wants. However, her telling the medical provider that your husband is financially responsible is pretty much worthless for the medical provider. Absent a contract in which he agrees to be liable for the bill the provider would lose in court suing him for payment of the bills. But if he wants to fix getting the bills and phone calls collecting for this he will need to go to court to do it. His view that the court will always side with the ex is not only not correct but is self-defeating. He has no chance to change it if he doesn’t even try. He needs to get the backbone to challenge her and make sure she pays what the order says she is liable to pay.

    I think that might vary from state to state when it comes to minor's medical bills. I do believe that in at least some states the provider can go after both parents. What I am confused about is that the OP says that the insurance her husband provides is very good, so how does the out of pocket get to 1k?
    Quote:

    By the way, the allergy clinic very likely violated federal law in disclosing your step-son's medical information to you. Although you may not like hearing this, since you are not his mother you should stay out of this sort of thing. It will only inflame the ex and make things even harder. Your husband is the father, and it's up to him to deal with things like the medical needs of his kid. I know you probably just want to help your husband out, but I've seen too many situations in which the “helpful” step-parent oversteps his/her role and makes the relationships involved worse rather than better to know that it doesn’t often work out well.
    I heartily agree with this. Its almost "classic" on the list of things NOT to do.
  • 08-30-2016, 04:31 AM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Can Your Ex-Spouse List You As Being Responsible for Medical Bills
    Quote:

    My question involves collection proceedings in the State of: KS

    My husband's ex-wife lists my husband as the financially responsible party every time she takes their son to a doctor, dentist, etc. Their divorce agreement says that he must carry insurance for the son (he does; and it's good insurance), that he pay a substantial child support payment (he does, always), and that she is responsible for medical out-of-pocket and co-pays. Is she allowed to disregard the divorce agreement and list him as financially responsible
    Because HE carries the insurance, HE is responsible. Most likely that is why he is listed.

    Quote:

    According to the medical office and the bill collector they've hired, she can list anyone she wants and they are entitled to come after him for payment. How can this be right? The unpaid bills are now substantial (close to $1000), but aren't that much more than one month's child support. So my questions are : 1) is she legally allowed to list someone as financially responsible without their consent?
    She is listing him as having the insurance -- that makes him responsible.

    Quote:

    2) Is the medical clinic and bill collector required to desist from putting this to his charge (destroying his outstanding credit record) and contact her for payment once we tell them that she is legally required to pay these bills?
    Nope.

    Quote:

    3) How do we fix this problem? Talking to her isn't going to work, obviously.
    You don't. Dad can send her the bills and request payment. If she doesn't pay, he pays and takes her to court for contempt.

    Quote:

    It may be worth noting that she has never in the 8 years I've been around, shared ANY medical information (I contacted the allergy clinic and got the needed information to provide the medications he needed at school myself - thankfully, the clinic WAS willing to help me with that),
    YOU had no right to that information as a legal stranger. So they broke the law when telling you that information.
    Quote:

    educational information, or anything else that requires any decision, with my husband in spite of their having joint custody.
    Dad needs to get off his butt and take charge of his own life. He needs to take responsibility for being a parent. He can call the doctor himself without letting his cupcake do it.

    Quote:

    She is singularly uncooperative about complying with a number of very specific details in their formal parenting agreement and has backed out on informal but very important agreements we've made about education and other issues after getting what she wanted from us (for example : my driving several hours per week for several years during elementary and middle school to take him across town to the school she wanted him in, then backing out on allowing him in return to attend HS near us (in one of the best schools in the state) - and constantly asking me to again drive him across town to attend one of the worst high schools in the area - she's willing to leave him stranded if I don't comply).
    \

    Lady YOU are not involved in this. Mom has the child in a school district. If dad wants him in his high school he needs to go back to court to get that right.

    Quote:

    Mom has convinced son that his friends near us "aren't really my friends; they're just people you make me go to church with" and so on. My husband feels there is no point in going to court as the court would always tend to side with the mom and it would just cost us a lot of money.
    then your father basically doesn't want to parent.
  • 08-31-2016, 08:14 AM
    DLMinKS
    Re: Can Ex-Wife List Dad As Responsible for Medical Bills
    To clarify, the allergy clinic didn't provide me with much medical information to speak of; I can't imagine it was anything confidential as it was pretty straightforward information of a rather general nature about medications. And son's mom actually ASKED ME to take him to some of his allergy appointments (as they were inconvenient to her), at which time I asked questions about proper administration of his medications (since he is with us half the time and mom told us conflicting information about dosages) and what to watch for and what he should have available at school for an emergency (son knew he was supposed to have medications at school, but mom didn't want to pay for them). Mom was always aware of everything I did and in most if not all cases, asked me to do it. I do realize I have no legal parental rights and I've tried to be careful of that - only be helpful for the sake of my step-son and to always make sure mom knew anything I did, ahead of time so far as possible. As for the courts being unfair to fathers, my husband has had some extremely bad experiences (nightmareish even) that this opinion is based on, so I can see why he feels this way.
  • 08-31-2016, 08:22 AM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Can Ex-Wife List Dad As Responsible for Medical Bills
    Quote:

    Quoting DLMinKS
    View Post
    To clarify, the allergy clinic didn't provide me with much medical information to speak of; I can't imagine it was anything confidential as it was pretty straightforward information of a rather general nature about medications. And son's mom actually ASKED ME to take him to some of his allergy appointments (as they were inconvenient to her), at which time I asked questions about proper administration of his medications (since he is with us half the time and mom told us conflicting information about dosages) and what to watch for and what he should have available at school for an emergency (son knew he was supposed to have medications at school, but mom didn't want to pay for them). Mom was always aware of everything I did and in most if not all cases, asked me to do it. I do realize I have no legal parental rights and I've tried to be careful of that - only be helpful for the sake of my step-son and to always make sure mom knew anything I did, ahead of time so far as possible. As for the courts being unfair to fathers, my husband has had some extremely bad experiences (nightmareish even) that this opinion is based on, so I can see why he feels this way.

    Maybe it is because your husband has not actually stepped up to do the things he is supposed to do. The clinic should not have given YOU any information without a proper release being signed. I also note you blame mom that the appointments were inconvenient to her so that is why YOU had to do it. Where was your darling husband -- the father of the child? Apparently it was inconvenient for him as well. Why hasn't your husband stepped up to the plate? Why is he letting you do the parenting while he does nothing but cry that the courts are unfair?
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