Getting Custody of a Child Back from a Grandparent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NC and PA
My wife has an 8 year old son that is residing in PA with her mother. She faced a few issues when she was younger, signing over custody (unsure of type) of her son to her mother. The courts stated that my wife was to receive visitation. However she joined the marine corps. Making it for the best that her mother had him at the time because she would be gone a lot with the military. However, she is now wanting to attempt getting custody of her son from her mother. We know it will be a fight due to her mother not accepting her sexual orientation so she has told my wife if she were to ever try and attempt to gain custody of her son back she would make it "hell". She would pull out every single receipt and would make sure she would never get him back. We know we will most likely need to obtain an attorney. She is in a very good place in life now. He would be very well cared for. She is still in the military and is now obviously married. So he would be cared for by myself when she has to go for field ops and/or deployments. I feel she should have the right to obtain her son back. But we are unsure of where to begin. Especially seeing as herself and her son are in different states. I suppose my question mainly is where to begin and what is the likely hood of obtaining custody back of her child.

Did she sign over custody on her voluntarily or did the court decide it was in the best interest of the child for the grandparent to be awarded custody ? If the court decided, what were the reasons ? How long has it been since she saw her son ? How long has the grandparent had custody ? You do need to realize you are a stranger to this child. If she were to regain custody, it would take time for the child to get to know you and feel comfortable with you. You also need to realize, legally you have no standing in regards to this child.

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Quoting Britnee30

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NC and PA
My wife has an 8 year old son that is residing in PA with her mother. She faced a few issues when she was younger, signing over custody (unsure of type) of her son to her mother. The courts stated that my wife was to receive visitation. However she joined the marine corps. Making it for the best that her mother had him at the time because she would be gone a lot with the military. However, she is now wanting to attempt getting custody of her son from her mother. We know it will be a fight due to her mother not accepting her sexual orientation so she has told my wife if she were to ever try and attempt to gain custody of her son back she would make it "hell". She would pull out every single receipt and would make sure she would never get him back. We know we will most likely need to obtain an attorney. She is in a very good place in life now. He would be very well cared for. She is still in the military and is now obviously married. So he would be cared for by myself when she has to go for field ops and/or deployments. I feel she should have the right to obtain her son back. But we are unsure of where to begin. Especially seeing as herself and her son are in different states. I suppose my question mainly is where to begin and what is the likely hood of obtaining custody back of her child.

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What has changed in the child's life? How often has she seen her son in the past two years?

What I'm getting at is that Mom can't just decide that she wants to be full-time Mom and uproot him from everything he knows; why is it in his best interest to go elsewhere with Mom?

She's asking to remove him from everything he knows, and move to a different state. How is that beneficial to her son?

Yes I do know this. Thank you for reminding me. And yes I do know that it will take time for him to get to know me. I am asking simply to find answers for my wife. Now as far as the legal and actual question for which I am asking about. She loved with her mother up until she left for the military almost four years ago. She signed custody over to her mother I'm pretty sure that it was supposed to be a temporary custody. Like stated because of the military. She has visited every chance she gets. Her last visit was at the beginning of this year before her deployment. He knows his mom very well. They speak almost daily now that she is back home. He abides by her when she asks him to do something. I would be a step parent just as a straight couple would be considered. I adore him and he knows that. Have I personally met him? Not yet. We plan on visiting for his birthday this year in November when she takes leave.

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Quoting Britnee30

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Yes I do know this. Thank you for reminding me. And yes I do know that it will take time for him to get to know me. I am asking simply to find answers for my wife. Now as far as the legal and actual question for which I am asking about. She loved with her mother up until she left for the military almost four years ago. She signed custody over to her mother I'm pretty sure that it was supposed to be a temporary custody. Like stated because of the military. She has visited every chance she gets. Her last visit was at the beginning of this year before her deployment. He knows his mom very well. They speak almost daily now that she is back home. He abides by her when she asks him to do something. I would be a step parent just as a straight couple would be considered. I adore him and he knows that. Have I personally met him? Not yet. We plan on visiting for his birthday this year in November when she takes leave.

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You don't know that. She signed over custody. Did the paperwork say TEMPORARY CUSTODY? Where is this child's father?
If it was not stated to be temporary custody, then she needs to prove that there has been a substantial change of circumstances in the life of the CHILD and/or the legal custodian. Changes in her life matter not. That is LEGAL FACT.

She has seen him approximately 8 times in the past two years. As often as they allow her to take leave. Knowing anything about military life that's more than normal approved leave days. He knows mommy is a marine and is beyond proud of her for it. He goes to school bragging about it. I'm not saying any of this will be easy for either of them. Just that she simply is finally getting the courage to fight her mother. She adores her son with all that she is and its her main focus. So of course she feels its only right of him to be with her. Its her child. Has she made mistakes in her past? Of course. And it has been held over her head daily. She wants her child and I know it would improve her life and he would get to be able to raise him as she should be able to. When you join the military you are encouraged to sign custodial rights over to someone if unmarried in which she was. The father has no contact with him and hasn't since he was born. He signed over all rights of his child.

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Quoting Britnee30

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Yes I do know this. Thank you for reminding me. And yes I do know that it will take time for him to get to know me. I am asking simply to find answers for my wife. Now as far as the legal and actual question for which I am asking about. She loved with her mother up until she left for the military almost four years ago. She signed custody over to her mother I'm pretty sure that it was supposed to be a temporary custody. Like stated because of the military. She has visited every chance she gets. Her last visit was at the beginning of this year before her deployment. He knows his mom very well. They speak almost daily now that she is back home. He abides by her when she asks him to do something. I would be a step parent just as a straight couple would be considered. I adore him and he knows that. Have I personally met him? Not yet. We plan on visiting for his birthday this year in November when she takes leave.

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Signing over custody to join the military is NEVER a temporary move - and the military is VERY clear on this).

Do not expect your wife to get custody any time soon unless Grandma agrees. She has chosen a military career knowing that she cannot enlist as a single parent with custody; she cannot get a redo in this situation. You also forgot to answer the questions asked.

And since it will come up, where is the father in all of this?

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Quoting Britnee30

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She has seen him approximately 8 times in the past two years. As often as they allow her to take leave. Knowing anything about military life that's more than normal approved leave days. He knows mommy is a marine and is beyond proud of her for it. He goes to school bragging about it. I'm not saying any of this will be easy for either of them. Just that she simply is finally getting the courage to fight her mother. She adores her son with all that she is and its her main focus. So of course she feels its only right of him to be with her. Its her child. Has she made mistakes in her past? Of course. And it has been held over her head daily. She wants her child and I know it would improve her life and he would get to be able to raise him as she should be able to. When you join the military you are encouraged to sign custodial rights over to someone if unmarried in which she was. The father has no contact with him and hasn't since he was born. He signed over all rights of his child.

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8 times is NOT a lot. Doesn't matter if he is beyond proud. That is NOT going to change custody. SHE decided to give custody of her child to HER mother. No one held a gun to her head. She doesn't get to just decide to change her mind and get her child returned to her custody. That is not how it works. The father has had no contact but that matters not. He could NOT have signed over all rights of his child unless it happened in one particular state. Which is not PA or NC. So nope. He did not do that. You do not have all the facts. Mother would not only have to sue her mother but also the child's father. And properly serve them both. Dad would have a right to fight for custody as well.

"I adore him and he knows that. Have I personally met him? Not yet. "

The child knows nothing. He has never meet you and only knows what Mom has told him. That is Not the same as knowing you, having spent time with you and Knowing how you feel about him because you have proven it to him over time.

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Quoting Britnee30

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She has seen him approximately 8 times in the past two years. As often as they allow her to take leave. Knowing anything about military life that's more than normal approved leave days. He knows mommy is a marine and is beyond proud of her for it. He goes to school bragging about it. I'm not saying any of this will be easy for either of them. Just that she simply is finally getting the courage to fight her mother. She adores her son with all that she is and its her main focus. So of course she feels its only right of him to be with her. Its her child. Has she made mistakes in her past? Of course. And it has been held over her head daily. She wants her child and I know it would improve her life and he would get to be able to raise him as she should be able to. When you join the military you are encouraged to sign custodial rights over to someone if unmarried in which she was. The father has no contact with him and hasn't since he was born. He signed over all rights of his child.

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Not quite.

As a single parent you are not encouraged to sign over custody; you are REQUIRED to sign over custody. It is not a temporary move, and the military makes this very, very clear. In fact, if they discover that signing over custody was a temporary measure to get you into the military you can actually be quite heavily penalized.

So moving on. It would improve her life? What about her son's life? You have said nothing about why removing him from the only home he knows is in HIS best interests. This is not about her feelings. Not at all. In fact, her feelings are absolutely irrelevant.

She needs to understand this.