Custody and Visitation Issues: Can You Refuse to Allow Access to a Child by a Drug Addicted Parent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

Hello Everyone,

I have a question as my rights as a single parent but will explain a little bit of the situation first. My ex husband and I split up back in December of 2014 because of domestic violence. He has a long history of substance abuse, drugs, alcohol etc. He finally exploded and got physical with me in which I pushed him back in self defense. Now I am not sure why the police officer said it was mutual combat, and I was completely honest about the situation. So because of that the charges were dropped so he was only arrested for domestic violence but not actually charged with it. Going through the court process, a restraining order was granted for a year, he was ordered to partake in drug classes and was granted supervised visits at a professional facility in my hometown and he was responsible for the cost of it and I agreed to be responsible for the cost of his drug testing before a visit since I am the one who requested the drug testing. I should also point out that the restraining order expired.

Since December of 2014 when we split up he has not made a single effort to see our daughter, not once! Since we split, he has been in and out of jail, I believe usually getting arrested for under the influence so he was only in jail for a few days each time, he has been in and out of rehabs, usually he relapses after he gets out on his own after graduating rehab and during the times when he is high on drugs I will receive text messages from him going on about supernatural powers and saying how he has been possessed because he will not remember sending me those texts. When he starts getting crazy I do not respond to what he says. I made sure to save every single text message he sends me and voicemail mails form last year that he would leave on my phone talking about how beautiful a rock is that he found, I even saved the voicemail's when he called from jail. . The last time I did respond to him I told him that he can only contact me if he is wanting to coordinate his date for a supervised visit and that he can email me on my work email because we didn't need to have further communication other than that. His response to my last text was this: "A hex on you" I recently heard form him again and I guess he has been sober for 3 weeks and going to rehab again and all he said was that he missed our daughter, not that he wanted to see her just that he missed her.

My questions are this: What are my rights as a parent? When he finally asks if he can see her can I say no? Can I hold off on the visit and go to court to request reunification therapy? What can I do? It has been almost 2 years and our daughter was 1 when we split up, she is now 3 and she doesn't know who he is. I want to protect my daughter and want to make sure that if he is going to see her that he will be consistent in her life and making his visits once he starts? That means he would actually have to put in the effort to see her. What can I do? Again, he still has not requested to see her at all but when/if he does I want to make sure I am smart about it.

During the first year we were split apart, I did everything I could to try and encourage him to be there for our daughter and to see her but after a year I finally decided to stop. Am I allowed to not respond to him and only respond if he is asking to see our daughter? In his text he said he wishes we could have some kind of dialogue but I feel that I made it very clear a few months ago not to contact me unless he was letting me know he had his visit scheduled at the facility. I feel I should point out that he lives 3 hours away and 99% of the time no one knows where he is, he just pops in from time to time through a call or text.