Harassed by My Boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend

My question involves defamation in the state of: NC.
My fiance's ex has been hauntinf us for two years. We have witnesses and physical evidence of her harassment. She constantly falsely acuses me of calling her and, of course, has no evidence of such. She has been known to pretend to be on the phone arguing with me so that her children can bare witness to her false theatrics. Today, after my fiance called her out on all of her games, she falsely claimed that she had a notarized restraining order against me. I have not been summoned or notifies and will be calling the court house to double check tomorrow. I am still awake at 1am and not able to sleep because I don't know what she will acuse me of next. I am terrified as her malice and theatrics know no boundaries and she doesn't care who she hurts (including her own children) as long as she can victimize herself every chance that she gets. What do I do?

If she threatens you, report it to the police. If she assaults you, report that to the police too.

What is it you wish to accomplish?

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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My question involves defamation in the state of: NC.
My fiance's ex has been hauntinf us for two years. We have witnesses and physical evidence of her harassment. She constantly falsely acuses me of calling her and, of course, has no evidence of such. She has been known to pretend to be on the phone arguing with me so that her children can bare witness to her false theatrics. Today, after my fiance called her out on all of her games, she falsely claimed that she had a notarized restraining order against me. I have not been summoned or notifies and will be calling the court house to double check tomorrow. I am still awake at 1am and not able to sleep because I don't know what she will acuse me of next. I am terrified as her malice and theatrics know no boundaries and she doesn't care who she hurts (including her own children) as long as she can victimize herself every chance that she gets. What do I do?

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There is no such thing as a notarized restraining order.

I want the harrasment to stop. I am terrified that I will get in some sort of trouble for nothing based on her theatrics. Should I report her actions? She has even gone as far to create a fake faceboom with two of my pictures ans name so that she could say that I was harrassing her via facebook. I located the false faceboom and my family and I all reported it with facebook... I just want her to stop using me as a way to victimize herself. What if she beats the hell out of her damn self and then calls the cops and said that I did it? I have literally zero contact with this woman myself.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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What if she beats the hell out of her damn self and then calls the cops and said that I did it? I have literally zero contact with this woman myself.

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Well, assuming the second part of that is true, the cops would simply not investigate. It's just...common sense.

Yes... I have zero contact with her. 2 years ago she obtained my phone number after stealing my fiance's phone. I have the texts that she sent me. Bullying and all. I never responded but I have them saved. She has told my fiance that she knows where we live and that she wants to show up and cause problems and and a scene "for all of my neighbors to see". She manipulates her friends into thinking that she is still with my fiance and they suddenly show up at places like restaurants where we hang out and they slanderize us to our friends. She has gone as far as to call my fiance's family and bombard them with ugly lies about both of us only to cause strain on our relationship and to cause me emotional stress. All because she has children with my fiance and feels that she can say or do anything because she uses the children as a way to keep my fiance from filing harrasment against her. I just want to know if there is anything I can do legally to simply put her scandals on check. Obviously, I am upset and babbling but it has been two years and I am tired. My fiance defends me and everything but is afraid of the damaging effects a court battle might have on his children who also suffer greatly thanks to this woman. They refuse to have a relationship with me because of all of the lies she has told them. She told them that I had called her and called the children bastards. Obviouslyb she has no proof because there was no call. But the children believe her and thay sucks.

Another example of her her friends playing along. She hired her neighbor to tell my fiance that he had relations with my. This was in the beginning. When my fiance confronted me about it I demanded that he confront the man (who has no relationship to me!) again. My fiance demanded the truth and the guy quickly complied and said that his ex had hired him to lie so as to cause us problems. He confessed. I don't know how many other of her friends would go that length to hurt me. She has created a world of lies and has painted me as some villian so all of her friends see her a a victim and participate when they can.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Yes... I have zero contact with her. 2 years ago she obtained my phone number after stealing my fiance's phone. I have the texts that she sent me. Bullying and all. I never responded but I have them saved. She has told my fiance that she knows where we live and that she wants to show up and cause problems and and a scene "for all of my neighbors to see". She manipulates her friends into thinking that she is still with my fiance and they suddenly show up at places like restaurants where we hang out and they slanderize us to our friends. She has gone as far as to call my fiance's family and bombard them with ugly lies about both of us only to cause strain on our relationship and to cause me emotional stress. All because she has children with my fiance and feels that she can say or do anything because she uses the children as a way to keep my fiance from filing harrasment against her. I just want to know if there is anything I can do legally to simply put her scandals on check. Obviously, I am upset and babbling but it has been two years and I am tired. My fiance defends me and everything but is afraid of the damaging effects a court battle might have on his children who also suffer greatly thanks to this woman. They refuse to have a relationship with me because of all of the lies she has told them. She told them that I had called her and called the children bastards. Obviouslyb she has no proof because there was no call. But the children believe her and thay sucks.

Another example of her her friends playing along. She hired her neighbor to tell my fiance that he had relations with my. This was in the beginning. When my fiance confronted me about it I demanded that he confront the man (who has no relationship to me!) again. My fiance demanded the truth and the guy quickly complied and said that his ex had hired him to lie so as to cause us problems. He confessed. I don't know how many other of her friends would go that length to hurt me. She has created a world of lies and has painted me as some villian so all of her friends see her a a victim and participate when they can.

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If its all so bad, then perhaps this is a relationship that you would be better off if you got out of it.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Yes... I have zero contact with her. 2 years ago she obtained my phone number after stealing my fiance's phone. I have the texts that she sent me. Bullying and all. I never responded but I have them saved. She has told my fiance that she knows where we live and that she wants to show up and cause problems and and a scene "for all of my neighbors to see". She manipulates her friends into thinking that she is still with my fiance and they suddenly show up at places like restaurants where we hang out and they slanderize us to our friends. She has gone as far as to call my fiance's family and bombard them with ugly lies about both of us only to cause strain on our relationship and to cause me emotional stress. All because she has children with my fiance and feels that she can say or do anything because she uses the children as a way to keep my fiance from filing harrasment against her. I just want to know if there is anything I can do legally to simply put her scandals on check. Obviously, I am upset and babbling but it has been two years and I am tired. My fiance defends me and everything but is afraid of the damaging effects a court battle might have on his children who also suffer greatly thanks to this woman. They refuse to have a relationship with me because of all of the lies she has told them. She told them that I had called her and called the children bastards. Obviouslyb she has no proof because there was no call. But the children believe her and thay sucks.

Another example of her her friends playing along. She hired her neighbor to tell my fiance that he had relations with my. This was in the beginning. When my fiance confronted me about it I demanded that he confront the man (who has no relationship to me!) again. My fiance demanded the truth and the guy quickly complied and said that his ex had hired him to lie so as to cause us problems. He confessed. I don't know how many other of her friends would go that length to hurt me. She has created a world of lies and has painted me as some villian so all of her friends see her a a victim and participate when they can.

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If she is harassing you then go get a restraining order. If it gets approved, then whenever she contacts you, you can have her arrested.

As stated is the relationship worth it for this? That might be what you need to think about.

Well, I am set on being in this relationship. He has always been the messanger and has stood up for me. He just relays her shenanigans to me. We usually ignore it unless she starts contatcting our families with hurtful lies just to damge my reputation. It wasn't until she started bragging about the fake restraining orddr that I started to think that maybe I should press charges. But, all of her acts have been indirect. The only time it was direct was two years ago. So I am wonderinf if I can file harrassment or defamation charges for all of the indirect hoopla given that I have witnesses... My fiance always ignores her and never takes her serious. I know I am being sensitive... But I also worry about her taking it one step further. Thanks.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Well, I am set on being in this relationship. He has always been the messanger and has stood up for me. He just relays her shenanigans to me. We usually ignore it unless she starts contatcting our families with hurtful lies just to damge my reputation. It wasn't until she started bragging about the fake restraining orddr that I started to think that maybe I should press charges. But, all of her acts have been indirect. The only time it was direct was two years ago. So I am wonderinf if I can file harrassment or defamation charges for all of the indirect hoopla given that I have witnesses... My fiance always ignores her and never takes her serious. I know I am being sensitive... But I also worry about her taking it one step further. Thanks.

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Why is he coming to you and telling tales? That's not ignoring her - that's feeding the drama.

No, you can't "press charges" for anything. No, you won't be successful in a defamation suit.

Seriously - you're making a choice here. He has children with this woman, and by extension you're going to be dealing with her and his children for life.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Well, I am set on being in this relationship. He has always been the messanger and has stood up for me. He just relays her shenanigans to me. We usually ignore it unless she starts contatcting our families with hurtful lies just to damge my reputation. It wasn't until she started bragging about the fake restraining orddr that I started to think that maybe I should press charges. But, all of her acts have been indirect. The only time it was direct was two years ago. So I am wonderinf if I can file harrassment or defamation charges for all of the indirect hoopla given that I have witnesses... My fiance always ignores her and never takes her serious. I know I am being sensitive... But I also worry about her taking it one step further. Thanks.

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You cannot file an order for "indirect" harassment. If she is directly harassing you and you have asked her to stop, call the police and they will do their jobs. That should stop her for awhile.

As stated, if you stay with him you have to deal with her as long as you are with him.

Well, I have no problem with her being a part of our lives... If she could just be a normal person that would be fine. She is never physically around myself or my fiance. It is all verbal attacks via phone or third parties. We are also expecting a baby and I was just trying to seek councel on gaining some peace. But thank you so much for lettinf me understand that I can't do much unless there is a direct attack. That was what was nipping at my curiosity. I don't want to seek punishment towards her. And I don't want to use the legal system as a weopon. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to stop her from damaging lies to our families and friends. Thanks to all who replied. I shall put on my big girl pants and just try to ignore it and tell ny fiance the same. Thanks again.

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Well, I have no problem with her being a part of our lives... If she could just be a normal person that would be fine. She is never physically around myself or my fiance. It is all verbal attacks via phone or third parties. We are also expecting a baby and I was just trying to seek councel on gaining some peace. But thank you so much for lettinf me understand that I can't do much unless there is a direct attack. That was what was nipping at my curiosity. I don't want to seek punishment towards her. And I don't want to use the legal system as a weopon. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to stop her from damaging lies to our families and friends. Thanks to all who replied. I shall put on my big girl pants and just try to ignore it and tell ny fiance the same. Thanks again.

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Good luck with your baby!

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Quoting GodHelpMe

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Well, I have no problem with her being a part of our lives... If she could just be a normal person that would be fine. She is never physically around myself or my fiance. It is all verbal attacks via phone or third parties. We are also expecting a baby and I was just trying to seek councel on gaining some peace. But thank you so much for lettinf me understand that I can't do much unless there is a direct attack. That was what was nipping at my curiosity. I don't want to seek punishment towards her. And I don't want to use the legal system as a weopon. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to stop her from damaging lies to our families and friends. Thanks to all who replied. I shall put on my big girl pants and just try to ignore it and tell ny fiance the same. Thanks again.

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If she is actually harassing you even on the phone you could report it to the police. If you just hear third party statements, then there is nothing to do.

My ex's other ex wife is a raging lunatic and I had to deal with her. She would talk shit about me to their kids and to him. A few times I confronted her over FB or text but most of the time I ignored her fat ass. I have known her as long as him and she has always been nuts so I just laughed it off when she ran her mouth.

Why do you care what his ex says about you? If she has nothing better to do than run her mouth, that shows a lot. If she has nothing better to do than talk about you, that shows how pathetic she is. If your friends and family know you, they know if someone lies. She just wants attention and drama. Do not give it to her.

My gosh... I don't know who you are but your message made me feel much better. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who has gone through this television-like drama. Thank you so much for your pointers.