Will Domestic Violence by a New Spouse Cause the Loss of Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: texas

I have a major legal concern. I am married to a man who has had documented legal issues.

I'll try to keep this simple. I have shared custody of my 10 year old son. I remarried about 6 months ago despite a few issues.

1) my husband (then boyfriend) called a guy who was texting me and threatened him. That guy called 911 for me. Cops showed up at my house. I told cops I was not hurt or scared but that my boyfriend told me if cops showed up that he would say I broke into his house. They arrested him on preventing me from calling 911. Because of me, that case has been dismissed and expunged.

2) my husband got into a verbal
Dispute w my son. My son was being difficult and said he was going to elbow him in the chest. My husband was trying to hug me and pull me away from my son. My son responded "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter." It was not said jokingly but it was not serious. My son told my ex and he said he wanted my son forever away from my husband. He got a lawyer and wants to change custody.

3). My husband and I got into a fight and I was trying to leave the house. He was trying to stop me and was yanking on my purse. My hand was in the strap and the tug of war ended with my broken hand. 3 screws and 2 surgeries later. The surgeon called police for possible abuse. Police arrived and questioned. They have not arrested him. My husband swears it was an "accident".

Now my husband is asking for full custody and wants to take me to court. He wants my medical records etc.

My husband says that I am not explaining these circumstances well and I'm not saying what a great guy he is as well. I told him my lawyer didn't want to meet with him. She said she is not taking direction from him. He is livid. He says when people meet him they will know that he's a great witness and he's a great guy. He says my ex is out to ruin him and he wants to SUE him for interfering in our marriage.

He is normally a great guy. We have had a few bad moments. But I do love him. I don't think he would ever physically harm my son or me on purpose.

My question is. What chances do I have of keeping joint custody. My ex wants him completely away from our son. Is that possible???

Just an observation; he is *not* a great guy. Not even close.

I'm going to say the exact same thing I told you/your idiot husband/boyfriend/whatever when the question was asked before.

If one parent marries or resides with an ass who seems to present a threat to the child, the other parent can request that custody be changed. In essence yes, the spouse/whatever can cause the parent to lose custody.

And yes, I do remember this story.

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Quoting mmmagique

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Just an observation; he is *not* a great guy. Not even close.

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We've seen this one before, Christina ;)

So my husband thinks this is all my fault thAt my attorney says most likely I won't win. Legally do I have a chance? Or would he barred from being around him?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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So my husband thinks this is all my fault thAt my attorney says most likely I won't win. Legally do I have a chance? Or would he barred from being around him?

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We don't have a crystal ball.

But if he's as much of an ass as you are implying, I wouldn't be surprised if the court gives you a choice. Loser Ass Husband, or your child.

Now, do you want to start being honest and tell us just which party you actually are?

What do you mean? I am the wife. My husband is extremely upset that my lawyer wants to drop me if I don't pay a 10k retainer to her. She seems to think this is a lost cause. My biggest issue w my husband is he blames me and says I paint him to be a "piece of shit" and that I cave to my ex.

I just want to understand my fault (if any) here.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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What do you mean? I am the wife. My husband is extremely upset that my lawyer wants to drop me if I don't pay a 10k retainer to her. She seems to think this is a lost cause. My biggest issue w my husband is he blames me and says I paint him to be a "piece of shit" and that I cave to my ex.

I just want to understand my fault (if any) here.

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Fine. If you insist, we'll do it your way.

Custody matters are between you, and Dad. Your husband is what's called a "legal stranger". He has no rights, or obligations, to your child. His place is to support you, and keep his nose out of your custody matters.

As far as the courts are concerned, you are the one at fault. It is your choice to let him stay around; in doing so you're putting your child at risk.

To summarize:

Dad is concerned about your child being in the same household as an abusive idiot.
You are more inclined to stick up for your husband than you are your child.

You need to understand that you're really going to have only one shot at fixing this because after that the state might make that decision for you.

You may have to choose your current jerk of a husband or your son ?

It has been difficult and I absolutely do love my son. I do not believe my husband would ever physically harm me or my son on purpose.

I realize I may sound delusional but I have also been made to feel that way. My husband says that I am just a poor storyteller and I don't show the facts well and that I'm too eager to gain sympathy. I also hear from his family that I "cater to my ex" and let him "control me by using my child as a weapon."

My ex has done a lot of parental alienation and I end up hiding that my husband is with us on events sometimes just to get him to cooperate and not make life difficult. But now he wants a legal fight.

I realize this all falls on me as the parent. My question is...are these things sufficient evidence that my husband is to be kept away?

Your son is 10 yrs old and he told his step father "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter." Your son learnd this behavior from his step-father and watching his step-father abuse you.

"The surgeon called police for possible abuse." "My hand was in the strap and the tug of war ended with my broken hand. 3 screws and 2 surgeries"

It is always someone else's fault, never his. If he calls a broken hand so badly that you have to have 3 screws and 2 surgeries an accident. Think about that long and hard. Frankly, it would be better for your son to live with his father because that way your son won't have to watch the jerk you're married to beat and more than likely kill his mother. Do you realize that your son is learning to treat women the way your jerk of a husband treats you by watching him ? You are making nothing but excuses for that jerk you're married to. You need to go talk to a counselor at a Battered Womans Shelter. For some reason you don't think that you deserve better, but your son certainly does.

There is a thread here that is several years old and it was updated yesterday. Sadly, the young woman is dead. You need to read it and Do Not Think That The Same Thing Won't Happen To You. There are countless women in cemeteries that have thought that and the men that killed them said the same things that your jerk of a husband says.

Withholding Phone Needed for Ambulance-
http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=149203

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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It has been difficult and I absolutely do love my son. I do not believe my husband would ever physically harm me or my son on purpose.

I realize I may sound delusional but I have also been made to feel that way. My husband says that I am just a poor storyteller and I don't show the facts well and that I'm too eager to gain sympathy. I also hear from his family that I "cater to my ex" and let him "control me by using my child as a weapon."

My ex has done a lot of parental alienation and I end up hiding that my husband is with us on events sometimes just to get him to cooperate and not make life difficult. But now he wants a legal fight.

I realize this all falls on me as the parent. My question is...are these things sufficient evidence that my husband is to be kept away?

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Can I ask you a question?

For the life of me, I don't understand why you need clarification. He abused you. He's an abuser. There's obviously animosity between he and your son, and I just cannot fathom why you would risk losing your child for the sake of a man who clearly doesn't love and respect you.

And seriously, DAD is the bad guy here?! Once again, this is one of those occasions where I'd love to get hold of Dad and help him.

Unfortunately, I must clarify. It was my husband who told my son that he would reach into his chest, grab his heart and put it on a silver platter. My son did not say that.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Your son is 10 yrs old and he told his step father "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter."

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And you haven't immediately sent your son to live with his father FOR HIS OWN SAFETY? What is wrong with you?

Her hubby is a doctor who is rich and has a lot of money. Stepdad posted her before and other places about this same situation. Or maybe on the boys group. This woman deserves to lose custody of her son.

Read here:
http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=74527

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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my husband (then boyfriend) called a guy who was texting me and threatened him. That guy called 911 for me.

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You've left out the part of your story that would explain why the guy knew your husband was either hurting you or threatening to do so, such that he needed to call the police on your behalf.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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Cops showed up at my house. I told cops I was not hurt or scared but that my boyfriend told me if cops showed up that he would say I broke into his house. They arrested him on preventing me from calling 911. Because of me, that case has been dismissed and expunged.

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What did you do? Lie and change your story? Why would you do that?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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my husband got into a verbal dispute w my son. My son was being difficult and said he was going to elbow him in the chest.

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I very much doubt that they were having an argument and then, out of the blue, your son said of all things, "I'm going to elbow you in the chest". What important details are you leaving out?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My husband was trying to hug me and pull me away from my son.

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So you had intervened to protect your son, your husband was trying to pull you away, and you want to characterize your husband's actions as... taking a break from his argument with your son so that he could hug you?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My [husband] responded "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter."

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You initially attributed that statement to your son. Now you've clarified that it was your husband who made that statement to the ten-year-old. But if it was your husband making the comment, to what was it a response? It clearly wasn't a response to your husband's own act of trying to pull you away from your son.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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It was not said jokingly but it was not serious.

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What is the third alternative?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My son told my ex and he said he wanted my son forever away from my husband. He got a lawyer and wants to change custody.

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I'm not surprised.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My husband and I got into a fight and I was trying to leave the house. He was trying to stop me and was yanking on my purse. My hand was in the strap and the tug of war ended with my broken hand. 3 screws and 2 surgeries later. The surgeon called police for possible abuse. Police arrived and questioned. They have not arrested him. My husband swears it was an "accident".

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When he was committing an act of domestic violence he "accidentally" injured you more severely than he intended. But he would have avoided causing any injury had he simply allowed you to leave rather than engaging in an act of domestic violence.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My husband says that I am not explaining these circumstances well and I'm not saying what a great guy he is as well.

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You seem to be going to pretty extreme lengths to minimize your husband's acts, so I'm not sure what spin your husband wants you to place on his actions to make him seem less like an abusive lout.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I told him my lawyer didn't want to meet with him. She said she is not taking direction from him. He is livid. He says when people meet him they will know that he's a great witness and he's a great guy. He says my ex is out to ruin him and he wants to SUE him for interfering in our marriage.

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Is this the part where we're supposed to confuse him with a "great guy"?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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He is normally a great guy.

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No, he's not. He might normally not be abusive, but great guys don't do the stuff your husband does as a matter of routine.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I don't think he would ever physically harm my son or me on purpose.

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He already hurt you on purpose -- just more severely than he anticipated. His actions that broke your wrist were purposeful.

But really, you have to say "I don't think..." because you don't know. You already have a history of domestic violence and abusive conduct. If you, his wife, don't know that he would never hurt you or your son on purpose, you need to get out.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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What chances do I have of keeping joint custody.

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Your lawyer has reviewed your situation and believes, under the facts, you have a substantial chance of losing custody even after what she believes will be an expensive custody battle. We have no reason to second-guess that assessment.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My ex wants him completely away from our son. Is that possible?

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It's possible.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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Or would he barred from being around him?

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You're a grown-up, so until he injures you so badly that a court imposes a restriction you are free to subject yourself to more abuse.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My husband is extremely upset that my lawyer wants to drop me if I don't pay a 10k retainer to her.

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Maybe he should be mad at himself for engaging in a series of threats and acts of violence that necessitate the payment of a substantial retainer if you want to contest your husband's custody motion.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My biggest issue w my husband is he blames me and says I paint him to be a "piece of shit" and that I cave to my ex.

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Do you still want us to believe that he is a "great guy"?

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I just want to understand my fault (if any) here.

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A poor choice of husband? Staying in a relationship despite there being clear signs that you should get out?

I should clarify. I can not edit at this point. It was my husband who said he would pull my son's heart out. Not my son. My husband didn't say it and mean it directly. But he did not apologize and he certainly wasn't joking.

The incident happened while at a restaurant. My son was calling my husband names. So my husband started to pull me closer to him in the booth. He knows that my son hates that. He was trying to hug me and put his arm around me and move me closer to him and away from my son. So my son said he would elbow him in the chest. My husband's response was how about I reach into your chest, grab your heart out and hand it to you on a silver platter.

My son started crying and I told my husbNd to stop. And he just started laughing to make light of it.

Since this happened my ex threatened to have a restraining order so I started telling my ex that my husband wasn't going to be around for the visits to give a cooling off period. My son said he wanted my husband around so he said he wouldn't tell his dad. And things have been great now for 2 months. My Husnand is on his best behavior and my son has been happy too.

But now my husband wants to stop the hiding and he wants to show up at soccer games etc and I predict a war. I have asked him not to be at things with my ex. And that makes him very very mad.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: texas

I have a major legal concern. I am married to a man who has had documented legal issues.

I'll try to keep this simple. I have shared custody of my 10 year old son. I remarried about 6 months ago despite a few issues.

1) my husband (then boyfriend) called a guy who was texting me and threatened him. That guy called 911 for me. Cops showed up at my house. I told cops I was not hurt or scared but that my boyfriend told me if cops showed up that he would say I broke into his house. They arrested him on preventing me from calling 911. Because of me, that case has been dismissed and expunged.

2) my husband got into a verbal
Dispute w my son. My son was being difficult and said he was going to elbow him in the chest. My husband was trying to hug me and pull me away from my son. My HUSBAND responded "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter." It was not said jokingly but it was not serious. My son told my ex and he said he wanted my son forever away from my husband. He got a lawyer and wants to change custody.

3). My husband and I got into a fight and I was trying to leave the house. He was trying to stop me and was yanking on my purse. My hand was in the strap and the tug of war ended with my broken hand. 3 screws and 2 surgeries later. The surgeon called police for possible abuse. Police arrived and questioned. They have not arrested him. My husband swears it was an "accident".

Now my husband is asking for full custody and wants to take me to court. He wants my medical records etc.

My husband says that I am not explaining these circumstances well and I'm not saying what a great guy he is as well. I told him my lawyer didn't want to meet with him. She said she is not taking direction from him. He is livid. He says when people meet him they will know that he's a great witness and he's a great guy. He says my ex is out to ruin him and he wants to SUE him for interfering in our marriage.

He is normally a great guy. We have had a few bad moments. But I do love him. I don't think he would ever physically harm my son or me on purpose.

My question is. What chances do I have of keeping joint custody. My ex wants him completely away from our son. Is that possible???

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Quoting Ohiogal

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Her hubby is a doctor who is rich and has a lot of money. Stepdad posted her before and other places about this same situation. Or maybe on the boys group. This woman deserves to lose custody of her son.

Read here:
http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=74527

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Ohhhh...what delightful people these two are! Hope Dad gets residential custody asap!

The replies on that forum are awesome.

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Quoting geek

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Ohhhh...what delightful people these two are! Hope Dad gets residential custody asap!

The replies on that forum are awesome.

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Stedad is trash and needs to get his butt kicked severely. He belongs in prison and definitely should not be a doctor. Mom doesn't deserve custody of even a carrot and should probably have supervised visits for sticking by this man.

He is not typically angry or difficult around my son. That's why I struggle. I know my son would not be physically harmed by him. Other than a habit of texting and driving...he would not lay a hand on my son.

[UOTE=Quickquestion2;945820]My question involves a child custody case from the State of: texas

I have a major legal concern. I am married to a man who has had documented legal issues.

I'll try to keep this simple. I have shared custody of my 10 year old son. I remarried about 6 months ago despite a few issues.

1) my husband (then boyfriend) called a guy who was texting me and threatened him. That guy called 911 for me. Cops showed up at my house. I told cops I was not hurt or scared but that my boyfriend told me if cops showed up that he would say I broke into his house. They arrested him on preventing me from calling 911. Because of me, that case has been dismissed and expunged.

2) my husband got into a verbal
Dispute w my son. My son was being difficult and said he was going to elbow him in the chest. My husband was trying to hug me and pull me away from my son. My son responded "how about I reach into your chest pull your heart out and hand it to you on a platter." It was not said jokingly but it was not serious. My son told my ex and he said he wanted my son forever away from my husband. He got a lawyer and wants to change custody.

3). My husband and I got into a fight and I was trying to leave the house. He was trying to stop me and was yanking on my purse. My hand was in the strap and the tug of war ended with my broken hand. 3 screws and 2 surgeries later. The surgeon called police for possible abuse. Police arrived and questioned. They have not arrested him. My husband swears it was an "accident".

Now my husband is asking for full custody and wants to take me to court. He wants my medical records etc.

My husband says that I am not explaining these circumstances well and I'm not saying what a great guy he is as well. I told him my lawyer didn't want to meet with him. She said she is not taking direction from him. He is livid. He says when people meet him they will know that he's a great witness and he's a great guy. He says my ex is out to ruin him and he wants to SUE him for interfering in our marriage.

He is normally a great guy. We have had a few bad moments. But I do love him. I don't think he would ever physically harm my son or me on purpose.

My question is. What chances do I have of keeping joint custody. My ex wants him completely away from our son. Is that possible???[/QUOTE]

After reading the thread there and the ones on reddit, I think a massive troll has been busted. Lots of copy and pasting going on with minor edits. Same username posting as husband on one reddit and wife on another. Surprised nobody is trolling as the ex-husband. The guys on the men forum figured it out pretty quickly.

If it's not a troll, it's a MESS.

I'm not a troll. Unfortunately my part is real. I posted on the men's site as my husband. I wanted a man's perspective. And yes that was exposed, but it was all true. All these things happened. I even wrote the post from the sympathetic view for my husband.

That's what I wanted was objective view. From men.

The stuff on Reddit.... confusing. Your husband is claiming that you and he share an account and you each started your own threads, but it seems hard to dispute that they were both written by the same person. That raises the question, were the threads at Reddit started by you, in which case the thread at mensdivorce.com was also by you, or is your husband posting while pretending to be you in one of his threads?

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Well, when she met me …after a few months…I asked her to quit her career (making 6 figures) and move with me and her my son — she said yes.... I originally told her that I would put up the money and help her fight. But, then backed off and said if we couldn’t be assured by her lawyers that we were going to win — I wasn’t going to put my money in it.... I said “if I can’t be a part of this…I’m not paying.”... I control the finances and I won’t let her pay for anything including her son’s tuition or tutoring etc without a major fight.... I said, well I am moving FOR You… so I don’t think I should be required to use any of my money from the house sale to help. (i could walk away w 200k) You will “save us” …remember?

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I'm not even slightly surprised that somebody who is thus much of a financial control freak has escalated into domestic violence.

He doesn't want you to work because that way you won't have any independence -- his home, his money, his rules -- and he can isolate you. He has allowed you to resume working because he likes the money, but he won't let you control your own earnings. The real reason he won't move to start a practice in a city where you can make more money? You would be in the financial driver's seat, and he simply can't stand the idea of giving up his leverage or, worse, having you direct his financial choices.

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here's what happened: I said something horrible to her son...who only lives with us 20 percent of the time. Her son was being mean to me. He's 10. He was jealous of me putting my arm around his mom. son said "if you don't move -- I will put my elbow into your heart" I admit I reacted poorly...but I said -- "how about If I cut open your chest reach in and grab your heart and hand it to you!"

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Your husband was in an immature argument with your son, escalated with an immature gesture he knew would make your son jealous, then again escalated into what seems like a pretty scary threat when spoken by a surgeon -- especially when, as you say, he was not joking (even if he was somehow not serious while not joking about cutting out your son's heart).

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Maybe I am expecting too much that she makes me dinner and wants sex when I come home. Why is that so hard? I know she's smart and successful but I just want leave and appreciation.

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For real? Let me guess, he hasn't proposed that you take turns making dinner and presenting yourselves for sex.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I'm not a troll. Unfortunately my part is real. I posted on the men's site as my husband. I wanted a man's perspective. And yes that was exposed, but it was all true. All these things happened. I even wrote the post from the sympathetic view for my husband.

That's what I wanted was objective view. From men.

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Then why not post as yourself? You would have still gotten opinions from men. You ruin all credibility when you lie. You waste the time of the people who respond to you.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I'm not a troll. Unfortunately my part is real. I posted on the men's site as my husband. I wanted a man's perspective.

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Okay, then, so all of the posts are yours.

If you're telling the truth, you need to get out. If you're not telling the truth in the details it doesn't much matter, you are in a sick relationship and you still need to get out.

Please be aware that the more you post, the more likely it is that your husband and your ex- will both find your posts and your claims, and that they'll be introduced against you in legal proceedings. We tell you here not to post any potentially identifying details. You have a lawyer -- if you need to have it explained to you why you need to stop, your lawyer will set you straight.

Yes they are all me. And they are all true. In some cases, probably more sympathetic to him...

I truly just wanted legal opinion. My husband is pissed and thinks my lawyer sucks and hates him because I haven't allowed him to meet her AND he feels I am way too affected when telling these incidents.

I want to know is my lawyer wrong? She has encouraged me to leave him and she says she is worried for me. I can not introduce her to my husband under these circumstances.

If your lawyer is saying for you to leave him, then NO. She is NOT wrong.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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Yes they are all me. And they are all true. In some cases, probably more sympathetic to him...

I truly just wanted legal opinion. My husband is pissed and thinks my lawyer sucks and hates him because I haven't allowed him to meet her AND he feels I am way too affected when telling these incidents.

I want to know is my lawyer wrong? She has encouraged me to leave him and she says she is worried for me. I can not introduce her to my husband under these circumstances.

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Your husband is not a party to your legal business. And frankly? I think your lawyer is right. I'd lose this guy, and move back closer to your ex so your son can have access to both parents. If even a tenth of what you relayed is true, he (your husband) is a control freak and dangerous.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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...because I haven't allowed him to meet her...

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Is it that you haven't allowed your husband to meet your lawyer, or that your lawyer does not want to meet your husband? Both?

It's all true. My husband has an opportunity to move to my son's home is and he is not agreeing to do it consistently. My job is based there and I work remotely. So it would be perfect for me.

He has agreed to move and then the next day he will say he didn't and that I'm "impossible" and "don't listen".

My first lawyer ...I didn't let them meet. My current lawyer does not want to meet him. She says that he could be charged w a crime and she doesn't want any legal issues for anyone involved.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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It's all true. My husband has an opportunity to move to my son's home is and he is not agreeing to do it consistently. My job is based there and I work remotely. So it would be perfect for me.

He has agreed to move and then the next day he will say he didn't and that I'm "impossible" and "don't listen".

My first lawyer ...I didn't let them meet. My current lawyer does not want to meet him. She says that he could be charged w a crime and she doesn't want any legal issues for anyone involved.

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GET. OUT. OF. THAT. RELATIONSHIP.

Before you DO NOT HAVE THAT CHOICE ANY LONGER.

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Quoting Ohiogal

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Stedad is trash and needs to get his butt kicked severely. He belongs in prison and definitely should not be a doctor. Mom doesn't deserve custody of even a carrot and should probably have supervised visits for sticking by this man.

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THANK YOU. I knew I'd seen this story somewhere.

God, I wish I knew Dad. I'm saddened because this woman is going to end up being on the ID Channel one day and there's nothing any of us can do to stop that trainwreck unless SHE gets off the tracks herself.

That poor boy. He needs to be safe, and stable, and Mom cannot offer him even a tiny percentage of either.

If you have to actually think about choosing between your deadbeat husband and your son then you do not deserve to have custody of your son. Ever. There should be ZERO choice when it comes to your child and an abusive partner. If someone EVER told my child that they would "reach into" their chest and "rip out their heart" I would leave that ass in a second.

IF this is all true, you needed to leave yesterday. Why did you marry this guy if he has always been this abusive? I understand abusive relationships. I have been there. But absolutely NO ONE will ever hurt my child, threaten my child or abuse my child in any way.

Until you can get your sanity in check, you better send your son to live with his father before your son ends up dead or in the hospital. If your son ends up in the hospital, you have no chance at custody at that point I would think. Are you really willing to risk your SON'S LIFE?!

I honestly understand what you are saying...I do. But, I truly do not believe that my husband would ever physically harm me or my son. The incident with my hand was definitely out of control, but I don't think he knew what he was doing or that he was about to break my bone.

I realize that some of this is him sounding like a monster -- but most of my concern is the verbal abuse I take. I have talked to him at great length about this...

He is so good around my son now (he knows he has to) but we recently went on spring break with his kids (15 and 17) and it was a nightmare. My husband screamed at them constantly because they weren't moving fast enough for him etc etc. My son was stressed quite a bit and stayed close to me...what i realized is that is how he NORMALLY is -- and he's just on good behavior with my son right now.

My husband has 3 kids from his previous marriage but he only sees them a couple times a month for dinner etc. They do not seem to want to be around him much....but I think that is due to the fact that he was not consistently in their lives.

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I honestly understand what you are saying...I do. But, I truly do not believe that my husband would ever physically harm me or my son. The incident with my hand was definitely out of control, but I don't think he knew what he was doing or that he was about to break my bone.

I realize that some of this is him sounding like a monster -- but most of my concern is the verbal abuse I take. I have talked to him at great length about this...

He is so good around my son now (he knows he has to) but we recently went on spring break with his kids (15 and 17) and it was a nightmare. My husband screamed at them constantly because they weren't moving fast enough for him etc etc. My son was stressed quite a bit and stayed close to me...what i realized is that is how he NORMALLY is -- and he's just on good behavior with my son right now.

My husband has 3 kids from his previous marriage but he only sees them a couple times a month for dinner etc. They do not seem to want to be around him much....but I think that is due to the fact that he was not consistently in their lives.

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We cannot help you further.

Hopefully Dad will be successful in trying to protect his child.

Good luck.

Editited to chage to Nevermind.....

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Quoting Quickquestion2

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I honestly understand what you are saying...I do. But, I truly do not believe that my husband would ever physically harm me or my son. The incident with my hand was definitely out of control, but I don't think he knew what he was doing or that he was about to break my bone.

I realize that some of this is him sounding like a monster -- but most of my concern is the verbal abuse I take. I have talked to him at great length about this...

He is so good around my son now (he knows he has to) but we recently went on spring break with his kids (15 and 17) and it was a nightmare. My husband screamed at them constantly because they weren't moving fast enough for him etc etc. My son was stressed quite a bit and stayed close to me...what i realized is that is how he NORMALLY is -- and he's just on good behavior with my son right now.

My husband has 3 kids from his previous marriage but he only sees them a couple times a month for dinner etc. They do not seem to want to be around him much....but I think that is due to the fact that he was not consistently in their lives.

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Quickquestion2 - you are the textbook domestic violence victim. ANY abuse should not be tolerated - even verbal abuse. Think about it this way - what would you do if a stranger talked to you or your son this way? Would you put up with it? Would your husband tolerate it? Ask him that. Ask him "What if some stranger came up to me and treated me the way you do? What would you do?" I bet he says "I'd kick their ass." Then say "Well you're the one doing this. You."

"He is so good around my son now (he knows he has to) but we recently went on spring break with his kids (15 and 17) and it was a nightmare. My husband screamed at them constantly because they weren't moving fast enough for him etc etc. My son was stressed quite a bit and stayed close to me...what i realized is that is how he NORMALLY is -- and he's just on good behavior with my son right now."

Just dissect this statement. "He knows he has to be (good around my son). He should WANT to treat your son like a human being. Not be forced to do it. If he screams at his kids what makes you think he will not do it to yours? Then you say "this is how he "normally" is." THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM? He treats his OWN kids like crap - what makes you think he will not continue to do this to your son? Violence and abuse escalate. He WILL hit your son. He has hurt you - what makes you think he will not hurt your kid if he is angry enough? Guess what - it is going to happen it is just a matter of when. Not if. When.

"They do not seem to want to be around him much." That is your first clue about his behavior. If his own children do not want to see him because he is a raging psychopath, why would you let your own child around him?

You do NOT deserve to have your child around you until you leave this "man." If I was your husband, I would definitely fight for full custody. You are an unfit mother at this point if you cannot choose your son's well being over your POS husband.

He does not "sound" like a monster. He IS a monster. You need to get away from him. You never should have married him if he exhibited this behavior before you got married. I would never let my child be around someone this vile and abusive.

You keep saying your son is stressed, scared, does not like him. Ding, ding ding!! Get the hell out. Now. Like right now get off the Internet and get your stuff and get the hell out.

Also the "male" point of view by posting on a divorce forum for men...what do you think most sane men would say to a "man" like your husband?

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Quoting qwaspolk69

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Quickquestion2 - you are the textbook domestic violence victim. ANY abuse should not be tolerated - even verbal abuse. Think about it this way - what would you do if a stranger talked to you or your son this way? Would you put up with it? Would your husband tolerate it? Ask him that. Ask him "What if some stranger came up to me and treated me the way you do? What would you do?" I bet he says "I'd kick their ass." Then say "Well you're the one doing this. You."

"He is so good around my son now (he knows he has to) but we recently went on spring break with his kids (15 and 17) and it was a nightmare. My husband screamed at them constantly because they weren't moving fast enough for him etc etc. My son was stressed quite a bit and stayed close to me...what i realized is that is how he NORMALLY is -- and he's just on good behavior with my son right now."

Just dissect this statement. "He knows he has to be (good around my son). He should WANT to treat your son like a human being. Not be forced to do it. If he screams at his kids what makes you think he will not do it to yours? Then you say "this is how he "normally" is." THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM? He treats his OWN kids like crap - what makes you think he will not continue to do this to your son? Violence and abuse escalate. He WILL hit your son. He has hurt you - what makes you think he will not hurt your kid if he is angry enough? Guess what - it is going to happen it is just a matter of when. Not if. When.

"They do not seem to want to be around him much." That is your first clue about his behavior. If his own children do not want to see him because he is a raging psychopath, why would you let your own child around him?

You do NOT deserve to have your child around you until you leave this "man." If I was your husband, I would definitely fight for full custody. You are an unfit mother at this point if you cannot choose your son's well being over your POS husband.

He does not "sound" like a monster. He IS a monster. You need to get away from him. You never should have married him if he exhibited this behavior before you got married. I would never let my child be around someone this vile and abusive.

You keep saying your son is stressed, scared, does not like him. Ding, ding ding!! Get the hell out. Now. Like right now get off the Internet and get your stuff and get the hell out.

Also the "male" point of view by posting on a divorce forum for men...what do you think most sane men would say to a "man" like your husband?

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Those responses though ... damn! (those on the other forum)

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Quoting Cocoabean

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Editited to chage to Nevermind.....

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I know.

I think most of us are on the same page here - even to the point where I'm fairly certain we're being trolled at least a little bit.

It just occurred to me. I wonder if Mr. Wonderful will still have a career if his abusive shenanigans are exposed to the world. Hmmm.

I truly do not believe that my husband would ever physically harm me or my son.

There are lots of women in cemetaries who truly believed the same thing. Unfortunately they learned otherwise a little too late.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Those responses though ... damn! (those on the other forum)



I know.

I think most of us are on the same page here - even to the point where I'm fairly certain we're being trolled at least a little bit.

It just occurred to me. I wonder if Mr. Wonderful will still have a career if his abusive shenanigans are exposed to the world. Hmmm.

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I scrolled through that divorced men forum. They were not having it. I hope it is a troll because if this woman is serious and is allowing her son to be exposed to all this...*sigh*.

It would be something for this guy to have a little fear put into him.

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Quoting qwaspolk69

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I scrolled through that divorced men forum. They were not having it. I hope it is a troll because if this woman is serious and is allowing her son to be exposed to all this...*sigh*.

It would be something for this guy to have a little fear put into him.

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I have to admit that between this, the Men's Divorce place & Reddit, it provided an interesting backdrop to my morning coffee-and-treadmill routine.

Wow, I'm pathetic. :o

Ok, have to say it. He "accidentally" hurt you. What will stop him from "accidentally" hurting a 10 year old...seriously. What? The fact that he is behaving well right now when you are there? And you KNOW this is not his normal behavior.

I don't have children, but if I wanted the marriage (you are an adult, co-dependent perhaps, but adult), I'd be sending my son to his father's in a heartbeat to keep him safe.