Will a Court Consider Ordering Child Care by a Stepparent Instead of a Grandparent
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania
My husband and I are just in the beginning stages of getting a child custody order in place for my 13 year old stepdaughter. Her mother works different shifts, one of which is an overnight shift. My question is, during the shifts that she works overnight would the court consider my stepdaughter being ordered to stay at home with me, her stepbrothers and half sister instead of being home alone? My husband, her biological father, works out of town and would not be home during these periods of time. Her mother would argue that she will be staying with her grandmother although we know this not to be true. Currently the mother is withholding communication as well as custody time with her. :(
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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MandyR
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania
My husband and I are just in the beginning stages of getting a child custody order in place for my 13 year old stepdaughter. Her mother works different shifts, one of which is an overnight shift. My question is, during the shifts that she works overnight would the court consider my stepdaughter being ordered to stay at home with me, her stepbrothers and half sister instead of being home alone? My husband, her biological father, works out of town and would not be home during these periods of time. Her mother would argue that she will be staying with her grandmother although we know this not to be true. Currently the mother is withholding communication as well as custody time with her. :(
You have NO RIGHT to visitation with this child. You also have no right to get a custody order for the child. If mom is the custodian, she can choose who she allows to watch her child. And dad can do the same on his time. Unless there is a right of first refusal -- but that ONLY allows for the parents to exercise that. How often has dad attempted to communicate with his child? What does the COURT ORDER currently state for dad to communicate with his child?
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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Ohiogal
You have NO RIGHT to visitation with this child. You also have no right to get a custody order for the child. If mom is the custodian, she can choose who she allows to watch her child. And dad can do the same on his time. Unless there is a right of first refusal -- but that ONLY allows for the parents to exercise that. How often has dad attempted to communicate with his child? What does the COURT ORDER currently state for dad to communicate with his child?
I am aware that I personally have no right to visitation as a stepparent. There currently is no court order in place. That is what we are working on. The Custody Complaint should be filed this week. Her father has attempted to contact her several times to no avail. The past 2 weekends that were verbally agreed upon her being with us she was withheld, including Easter. My question is more geared towards the subject of neither parent being physically with the child. I understand that when each parent has scheduled time they can determine who the child is left with if they are not available and their is no first right of refusal provided for. I am questioning whether a court would be likely to grant the time to our home or the grandparent's home when the mother is working overnights.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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MandyR
I am aware that I personally have no right to visitation as a stepparent. There currently is no court order in place. That is what we are working on. The Custody Complaint should be filed this week. Her father has attempted to contact her several times to no avail. The past 2 weekends that were verbally agreed upon her being with us she was withheld, including Easter. My question is more geared towards the subject of neither parent being physically with the child. I understand that when each parent has scheduled time they can determine who the child is left with if they are not available and their is no first right of refusal provided for. I am questioning whether a court would be likely to grant the time to our home or the grandparent's home when the mother is working overnights.
Should we assume that dad and mom were NOT married and in 13 years dad could not be bothered to file for a custody/visitation order? Mother is not withholding time. Dad is entitled to NO TIME without a court order. At 13 the child is old enough to babysit overnight. The court would allow Mother to make the decision of where her child can be. In over a decade, why hasn't dad done anything regarding getting a court order? How long have you and he been married?
You state you are aware you have no rights but yet look at the number of times your own statements belie that:
"we are working"
"being with us"
Should I go back to the first post?
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
WOW, you are clearly a mother who does not like her child's stepmother or father. Let me first inform you I have children from a previous marriage where another woman is involved with their father. I certainly see both sides of the coin here. I respect the fact that the other woman in my sons' life cares for them and takes care of them while they are in their care. I do not go out of my way to make her feel less important in factors concerning them or when they are in "their" home. The fact of the matter is that as a married couple we are a "we" and our house is ran as such. Each parent is entitled to time with their child regardless of a court order. With no court order being in place each parent technically has just as much rights to the child as the other. If my husband wanted to be a horrible parent he could go get his daughter and not return her to her mother's care until a court ordered him to do so. Knowing this would be damaging to her he would never do such a thing but legally he has every right to. The dad and mom were never married and he has always allowed the mother to be the primary care giver. Recently though the child is experiencing many problems, including school issues. And for the record, not that it really matters, we have been married for 5 years and together for 3 years prior for a total of 8 years.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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MandyR
WOW, you are clearly a mother who does not like her child's stepmother or father. Let me first inform you I have children from a previous marriage where another woman is involved with their father. I certainly see both sides of the coin here. I respect the fact that the other woman in my sons' life cares for them and takes care of them while they are in their care. I do not go out of my way to make her feel less important in factors concerning them or when they are in "their" home. The fact of the matter is that as a married couple we are a "we" and our house is ran as such. Each parent is entitled to time with their child regardless of a court order. With no court order being in place each parent technically has just as much rights to the child as the other. If my husband wanted to be a horrible parent he could go get his daughter and not return her to her mother's care until a court ordered him to do so. Knowing this would be damaging to her he would never do such a thing but legally he has every right to. The dad and mom were never married and he has always allowed the mother to be the primary care giver. Recently though the child is experiencing many problems, including school issues. And for the record, not that it really matters, we have been married for 5 years and together for 3 years prior for a total of 8 years.
Actually I am an attorney. Your children do not matter with this equation. Your husband is NOT entitled LEGALLY to any time with the child without a court order. You are wrong that dad has as much right to the child as mom. Mom is the sole legal custodian of the child. That is the law. He cannot legally refuse to return the child to the mother's care. Dad did NOT allow mom to be the primary care giver. The LAW grants mom that right.
What matters is dad did not see it as important to get legal rights to his child until now when the child is 13 years old. You really need to learn the law. You are spouting nonsense.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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MandyR
If my husband wanted to be a horrible parent he could go get his daughter and not return her to her mother's care until a court ordered him to do so.
To be clear, if your husband were to do something that stupid in the absence of a very compelling reason for his action, he would have a substantial chance of not only losing any chance of primary custody, but of having his parenting time restricted and perhaps even supervised until such time as the court was convinced that he was going to act responsibly. But to the extent that you're suggesting that it wouldn't be contempt of court because no order is in place, I'll concede the point.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
Well thanks for your input although I do not agree with it. We will move forward with talking with MY HUSBAND's attorney who is more versed in PA law. I was just looking for a quick answer/input before we had a chance to speak with her more in depth on this particular matter. We have, however, spoke with her on the issue of legal rights and you in fact are wrong. My husband does have just as much legal rights as her mother without a court order being in place. The law no longer favors one parent over the other but rather would like to see a child be in the joint care of each parent. It is the standard for what is in the best interest of a child.
As for my children, I was making you aware that I see both sides. Secondly, my children do matter in the fact that they live in our home and are her stepbrothers in which she has had a relationship with. I also am the mother of her half sister who she has a relationship with and that matters also. The court does look to maintain sibling relationships in custody cases. With that being said, I have no interest in continuing this back and forth with you and the "nonsense" you are spouting.
Mr. Knowitall....To clarify, he is not looking for primary custody. He is just looking for this game of parental alienation to end whenever mother decides she is angry and does not want to allow him to have contact with him. He has been trying for quite some time now to not have to go the legal route and be able to work it out amongst each other but the time has come for that to end. He just wants to be steady, consistent part of his daughter's life.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
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MandyR
Well thanks for your input although I do not agree with it. We will move forward with talking with MY HUSBAND's attorney who is more versed in PA law. I was just looking for a quick answer/input before we had a chance to speak with her more in depth on this particular matter. We have, however, spoke with her on the issue of legal rights and you in fact are wrong. My husband does have just as much legal rights as her mother without a court order being in place. The law no longer favors one parent over the other but rather would like to see a child be in the joint care of each parent. It is the standard for what is in the best interest of a child.
As for my children, I was making you aware that I see both sides. Secondly, my children do matter in the fact that they live in our home and are her stepbrothers in which she has had a relationship with. I also am the mother of her half sister who she has a relationship with and that matters also. The court does look to maintain sibling relationships in custody cases. With that being said, I have no interest in continuing this back and forth with you and the "nonsense" you are spouting.
Mr. Knowitall....To clarify, he is not looking for primary custody. He is just looking for this game of parental alienation to end whenever mother decides she is angry and does not want to allow him to have contact with him. He has been trying for quite some time now to not have to go the legal route and be able to work it out amongst each other but the time has come for that to end. He just wants to be steady, consistent part of his daughter's life.
You are the one spouting nonsense. Look here:
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/PA/pac....htm#Unmarried Cohabitants
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If the parents are unmarried, the child is the child of his/her mother. In order for the father to assert rights to the child (including rights to custody or visitation), paternity must be admitted or established in court. Paternity can be established by: judicial determination of paternity; father's acknowledgment of paternity in writing; father's open and notorious recognition of the child as his own; or by marrying the mother and then acknowledging himself as the father, either in writing or orally. In order for a father to bring suit to establish paternity by judicial determination, he should file an action for "filiation"; but, this is not required to seek custody if any of the other three methods has established paternity. Once paternity is established, neither party will be given a preference based solely on the gender. The Dom Rel forms do not cover paternity actions. If you are seeking to establish paternity, consult an attorney.
Hence, MOM IS THE ONLY ONE WITH LEGAL CUSTODY CURRENTLY. You have no clue. You need to be educated. The stepchildren are NOT siblings legally. The child who shares a parent is. I am well aware of best interest of the child and no preference over gender. But your husband HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS CURRENTLY WITHOUT A COURT ORDER. That is the nonsense you are spouting.
Re: Stepparent V. Grandparent
There is established paternity already and as such he has always paid child support through PACSES. Sorry if you were basing your advice off of the fact that I did not make that clear. Does this piece of information then change the information you have provided?
And yes, I am aware that stepchildren are not legal siblings. What I was conveying is the fact that they live in my husband's home and are therefore considered when considering the home environment she will be exposed to when she is in my husband's care.