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Formalizing a Change of Primary Custody and the Risk of a Custody Battle

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  • 03-15-2016, 02:17 PM
    MandaP
    Formalizing a Change of Primary Custody and the Risk of a Custody Battle
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NC

    I have a custody arrangement that was changed by both parties mutually but never amended, went from joint to my full custody. Now child a teen is having trouble in school w/ bullies, etc., and is doing everything he can to get out of going, and the father wants to basically send him off, not a bad kid, just having problems at school. If I fight will I have to go back to court? Can he send him without my permission? Is he old enough to tell a judge he just wants to stay with me?
  • 03-15-2016, 02:25 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    Quote:

    Quoting MandaP
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NC

    I have a custody arrangement that was changed by both parties mutually but never amended, went from joint to my full custody. Now child a teen is having trouble in school w/ bullies, etc., and is doing everything he can to get out of going, and the father wants to basically send him off, not a bad kid, just having problems at school. If I fight will I have to go back to court? Can he send him without my permission? Is he old enough to tell a judge he just wants to stay with me?

    What does your most recent custody agreement say about legal (decision-making) custody? Dad has physical at the moment - yes? Have you remained involved?

    You didn't tell us your son's age, either.
  • 03-16-2016, 08:33 AM
    MandaP
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    What does your most recent custody agreement say about legal (decision-making) custody? Dad has physical at the moment - yes? Have you remained involved?

    You didn't tell us your son's age, either.

    Age 16 and I have physical custody, he gets them 4-6 days a month, and our current agreement is the same one that was drawn up when the child was 5. If I remember correctly neither of us can make a decision unless both parents agree...which means his hands would be tied unless I agree correct?
  • 03-16-2016, 09:41 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    Quote:

    Quoting MandaP
    View Post
    ...and the father wants to basically send him off...

    Can you complete that thought? Send him off... where?
    Quote:

    Quoting MandaP
    If I fight will I have to go back to court?

    Court is where you fight child support disputes.
    Quote:

    Quoting MandaP
    Is he old enough to tell a judge he just wants to stay with me?

    The court will entertain the preference of a minor child, but if the child is skipping classes and is at risk of flunking out of school, the court may have concerns about his present living arrangement.
  • 03-16-2016, 10:08 AM
    MandaP
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    Can you complete that thought? Send him off... where?

    Court is where you fight child support disputes.

    The court will entertain the preference of a minor child, but if the child is skipping classes and is at risk of flunking out of school, the court may have concerns about his present living arrangement.


    Ok the low down is this....my son has been having issues with bullying, etc., at school he told his counselor that he basically didn't want to be here anymore, and they put him on suicide watch. I had him evaluated and deemed non suicidal and non homicidal and he was allowed to return to school. He then did it again and was sent back home, he informed me that he had no intention of hurting his self he just didn't want to go to that particular school anymore. My son does not skip school, sneak out, or anything like that, he is just trying to be heard, he has no problem going to school, he just doesn't want to go to the one he is currently enrolled in...his father thinks he needs reformatory school....and it has nothing to do with support...he has never paid it and I really could care less if he does...me and my current husband have paid for all of his needs except 1/2 of school clothes and christmas/birthday presents that his father buys him for last 7 years
  • 03-16-2016, 11:50 AM
    fisker
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    Reformatory school doesn't sound like the right solution if he isn't cutting class, causing trouble, or displaying serious behavioral problems. However, if he has been evaluated twice for making suicidal comments to a counselor and is having so many problems with being bullied that he doesn't want to be at school, it may be worthwhile for you to consider other school options for him to demonstrate that you're actively dealing with his issues rather than disregarding them. Maybe not reformatory and not the current situation, but something else that would be more beneficial.
  • 03-17-2016, 04:04 PM
    christielyn
    Re: 10 Year Old Custody Arrangement Changed but Never Amended but Having Decision Iss
    No, dad can NOT just send your son away. You have 50/50 Court Ordered custody however at some point years ago it was agreed that you would have primary and that's how it's been working so far correct? My guess is that dad is fed up with the nonsense your son is pulling and trying to puff up his chest and scare you both. And I say "nonsense" because he's falsely claiming suicide just to get out of going to a school where he's being bullied. Which is a big deal don't get me wrong.

    If it were me, I'd simply tell dad that he'll have to take you to court before you'll ever let that happen and until then, you don't want to hear another word about it.
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