Mother Wants Child to Move Away from Dad

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Massachusetts

My fiance has a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. In the past my fiance has had to file for contempt against her mother for denying him his court ordered visitations. During that hearing she stated that she did not believe she was obligated to let him see his daughter at all despite the court order. About 2 years ago her mother decided she was going to move to Florida to live with her parents and she filed a modification to take the child with her. The Judge decided it was not in her best interests to move to Florida and ordered that they share legal custody but her primary residence would be here with us in Massachusetts. They agreed that in lieu of child support she would pay half of any extra curricular activities and uninsured medical expenses as well as travel expenses for her visits. His daughter got braces about a year ago and we paid our half up front and her mother set up a financing plan to pay for her half. She was also paying half of her dance tuition. Just about 5 months ago she just up and decided to stop paying both of them. We were getting phone calls constantly because they could not get in touch with her. The Orthodontist would not continue their treatment because she was so far behind on payments. We tried to tell her what was going on but she ignored us, she wouldn't even speak to her daughter. She has also cancelled her last 2 week long visits with her. Finally after months of this I convinced my fiance to go file another contempt against her. They just had the hearing a couple weeks ago and she was given 2 hours to make payments and get both accounts current and provide confirmation or the judge was going to issue a warrant. Now all of the sudden, not 2 weeks later she is telling us that her daughter wants to live with her in Florida (we believe she was influenced) and she will be taking him to court for custody.

Is it fair to assume that a judge would think it would be a little irrational to uproot a child who is thriving in her current situation and totally disrupt her life? And maybe the mothers motives are based more on money than what is in her daughters best interests? And will her past and recent contempt help the fathers case at all?

It is likely that the judge will give some weight (I do not know how much) to the child's actual wishes. The judge will base it on what the judge feels is the child's best interests.

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Quoting llworking

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It is likely that the judge will give some weight (I do not know how much) to the child's actual wishes. The judge will base it on what the judge feels is the child's best interests.

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Where is the required CoC?

The child aging up and/or wanting to live elsewhere do not constitute a CoC in and of themselves in Mass.

The case is in Massachusetts, that is where the child was born and always lived. That is part of the reason she stayed when the mother moved to Florida 2 years ago.

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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The case is in Massachusetts, that is where the child was born and always lived. That is part of the reason she stayed when the mother moved to Florida 2 years ago.

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Yeap, that's what I understood.

Mom can't just file for custody. She needs a change of circumstance first, and then she has to prove that the CoC requires a custody modification. I think it's very important that Dad understands this.

In this situation Mom has a double whammy because she's not only asking for custody, she's also asking to relocate the child to Florida ... again. She tried it once and failed. The court isn't likely to appreciate her trying to find a loophole.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Yeap, that's what I understood.

Mom can't just file for custody. She needs a change of circumstance first, and then she has to prove that the CoC requires a custody modification. I think it's very important that Dad understands this.

In this situation Mom has a double whammy because she's not only asking for custody, she's also asking to relocate the child to Florida ... again. She tried it once and failed. The court isn't likely to appreciate her trying to find a loophole.

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She also has a tendency to be very disrespectful in the court room. That along with her disregard of court orders, lack of responsibility or concern for her daughters medical treatments will hopefully show that she is just better off where she is.

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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She also has a tendency to be very disrespectful in the court room. That along with her disregard of court orders, lack of responsibility or concern for her daughters medical treatments will show that she is just better off where she is.

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If Dad actually gets served, come back and let us know. I have a feeling though that Mom is all bluster at the moment.

Hopefully... I'm sure it's a case of wounded pride because the judge really let her have it. So she feels the need to retaliate the only way she can. I'll definitely let you know if anything comes of it. Thanks!

I just have a little something to add... she has been in contact with Dad today and told him that when she goes to Florida for her visit in April, he needs to start sending her things down there because she is moving there. Now, I am no expert but one would think that if there is a court order in place specifying where the child resides, she cannot make decisions like that, correct? What would be the best way to deal with someone who is constantly thinking she is above having to do things by the book?

Does he have proof of this conversation?

Yikes. It sounds like there's a good chance that if your fiance's daughter visits her mother in April she won't be returned home. At that point your fiance could pursue the whole "parental kidnapping" route but that would most likely be costly and he could go months without having her back home until the case is settled.

I'm not a legal expert but hopefully there's a motion he could file to prevent the visit in April given that the mother has already said she doesn't intent to comply with the court's rulings on placement or custody.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Does he have proof of this conversation?

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Yes, text messages.

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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Yes, text messages.

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While emergency filings are something I rarely, RARELY advise, in this situation if it were me I'd be straight down to the courthouse to request a modification of custody based on Mom's intention to relocate the child out of state. He needs to request IMMEDIATE temporary custody pending a final custody decision. If he can't do this himself, he needs to get in front of an attorney.

Now.

As in, he puts down his lunch, and gets on the phone or on his feet.

Getting the child back from Florida will be much more difficult than preventing her from leaving at all.

Or (sorry, stream of consciousness typing) he can file to modify custody and include an immediate restraining order preventing Mom from leaving the state with the child - even for a visit.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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While emergency filings are something I rarely, RARELY advise, in this situation if it were me I'd be straight down to the courthouse to request a modification of custody based on Mom's intention to relocate the child out of state. He needs to request IMMEDIATE temporary custody pending a final custody decision. If he can't do this himself, he needs to get in front of an attorney.

Now.

As in, he puts down his lunch, and gets on the phone or on his feet.

Getting the child back from Florida will be much more difficult than preventing her from leaving at all.

Or (sorry, stream of consciousness typing) he can file to modify custody and include an immediate restraining order preventing Mom from leaving the state with the child - even for a visit.

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I will let Dad know about all of this. I don't think anything will happen in April because I doubt she would want to go through the trouble of trying to transfer schools and all that. I think she thinks it would be more inconspicuous to try something over her summer visit, I believe she mentioned something about August. Honestly, I really don't know what she is thinking making all these plans. She really thinks it is ok to pester and constantly hound a 12 year old girl until they finally broke her down and made her feel guilty for saying she didn't want to be with her mother in the first place. And just for the record, the original decision ordering the daughter stay with Dad had absolutely NOTHING to do with the childs preference.

There are also some text messages that may suggest she is trying to bribe her into saying she wants to move.


Sorry, I am all over the place with this!

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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About 2 years ago her mother decided she was going to move to Florida to live with her parents and she filed a modification to take the child with her. The Judge decided it was not in her best interests to move to Florida and ordered that they share legal custody but her primary residence would be here with us in Massachusetts.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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While emergency filings are something I rarely, RARELY advise, in this situation if it were me I'd be straight down to the courthouse to request a modification of custody based on Mom's intention to relocate the child out of state.

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From what I understand, the court has already decided the issue -- dad is already the primary custodian, and the court ordered that his home be the child's domicile. If that's not the case, then dad should discuss the amendment of the custody order with a lawyer.

Dogmatique, do you mind if I send you a private message?

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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She also has a tendency to be very disrespectful in the court room. That along with her disregard of court orders, lack of responsibility or concern for her daughters medical treatments will hopefully show that she is just better off where she is.

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You do realize that legally YOU have NO standing at all. You are not paying for anything and you have no rights, correct? Furthermore, the orthodontist and dance studio are NOT parties to the order so therefore they go by the contract that was signed. If dad signed the contract, he is on the hook for the WHOLE thing.

I have had an interstate case with Florida where the NCP kept the child. FLORIDA was not helpful. The child went down in April for spring break -- was not returned. Was enrolled in school however and the school would not talk to the CP. Took until OCTOBER to get the child back. Numerous hoops. Dad needs to prevent this visit.

I am well aware that I have no legal rights in this situation. I never claimed to nor is it the issue. Extra curricular activities and uninsured medical and dental are mentioned specifically in the court order. They each are to pay half of everything. Dad never signed any contract, if you read my original post it says that we paid his half up front and the mother worked out a financing option for her portion.

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Quoting SarahMW9484

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I am well aware that I have no legal rights in this situation. I never claimed to nor is it the issue. Extra curricular activities and uninsured medical and dental are mentioned specifically in the court order. They each are to pay half of everything. Dad never signed any contract, if you read my original post it says that we paid his half up front and the mother worked out a financing option for her portion.

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You are missing the point -- the court order binds mom and dad -- not the dance studio or orthodontist. Those places can hold dad responsible for all the costs if dad wants his child to continue with them. Dad would have to enforce the order in court against mom.

I don't think I am the one missing the point. Both the orthodontist and the owner of the dance studio are aware of the situation, and the judge spoke to both of them at the contempt hearing. Dads half of both dance and orthodontist are paid off. This means that mom is responsible for the rest. She is the one with the financing agreement with the orthodontist, meaning she signed a contract with them, NOT Dad. It was never a question as to who is responsible, that was all clearly laid out in the court order, then again at the contempt hearing, and expressed to all involved by the judge. The purpose of my post is that after the contempt last month (she is now in contempt again not even 2 months later) she is insisting that her daughter move to FL for good. She has gone as far as requesting medical records to enroll her in school, all with out the courts permission. I was wondering if anyone thought it might be possible that she would actually be granted the change in custody after demonstrating such a lack of responsibility, blatant disregard for her daughters ortho treatments and her unwillingness to adhere to court orders.

I think the bottom line here is that mom sounds delusional in her thinking and everyone needs to just stop paying attention what comes out of her mouth. Dad already has custody and mom is more than welcome to drag dad back to court if she'd like but until then, the daughter is NOT MOVING anywhere and neither are her things. Mom's playing game to ruffle your feathers and you playing right into her hand.

I agree with the others though, I would think twice about sending her to visit mom at this point. She sounds like she may have a "plan" and returning her isn't it.

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Quoting christielyn

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I think the bottom line here is that mom sounds delusional in her thinking and everyone needs to just stop paying attention what comes out of her mouth. Dad already has custody and mom is more than welcome to drag dad back to court if she'd like but until then, the daughter is NOT MOVING anywhere and neither are her things. Mom's playing game to ruffle your feathers and you playing right into her hand.

I agree with the others though, I would think twice about sending her to visit mom at this point. She sounds like she may have a "plan" and returning her isn't it.

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Ditto, tritto and quadritto.