Restrictions on Child Support Arrears Forgiveness

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas
My sons father got clean and really only has to pay me 238 a month but he went so long almost 2 years without paying so he now has arrears. I really didn't want to persue child support but food stamps an medicaid here in Texas made me do it because I tried to get coverage for myself an my son after he left his job and spent three days in a drug induced haze at his grandma's with his dad leaving me with more questions than answers. The road has been rocky but he got clean had to go out of Texas do it and now has kept a job which I am glad our son just turned 3 has sensory and abandonment issues thanks to his dad but we are working on that. I am forgiving the back support because of other issues he has that I understand but I don't know how to go about it. I also recieve foodstamps and just got on medicaid since dad started paying in November of last year finally. But I have heard that we might have to wait a year for me to forgive and I don't know if the state of Texas will increase the interest the part left after I forgive because I am getting assistance. I have currently been going back to school and am real close to graduating.

You can forgive child support that he owes to you. However, as you receive public assistance, at least part of the arrears are going to be owed to the state and you cannot waive that portion of the support arrears.

Quote:

---

Quoting Mr. Knowitall

---

You can forgive child support that he owes to you. However, as you receive public assistance, at least part of the arrears are going to be owed to the state and you cannot waive that portion of the support arrears.

---

my assistance is food stamps medicaid an wic now he does not pay insurance and since our son is special needs and is covered on medicaid some people have told me that foodstamps an stuff do not count as assistance I think they do but also once I forgive the back does that mean the state might make him pay the 88 a month for insurance he is supposed to be paying on top of their fees. He was pretty close to the 5000 mark when he finally started working but he works at wendys so he doesn't make a whole lot.

You'll probably find that the taxpayers don't want to support your child.

The childs father owes Texas Medicaid for the healthcare his child has received and continues to receive from the State Of Texas. This will continue to until the child is no longer on Medicaid or turns 18.

You're also on Medicaid, but you want to let Dad off the hook for child support arrears ?

Quote:

---

Quoting Mercy&Grace

---

The childs father owes Texas Medicaid for the healthcare his child has received and continues to receive from the State Of Texas. This will continue to until the child is no longer on Medicaid or turns 18.

You're also on Medicaid, but you want to let Dad off the hook for child support arrears ?

---

I just barely got on and when I finish my college an graduate ill be able to pay for both me an my sons medical attention an since Ill be a substance abuse counselor ill back pay the help in time . Theres another situation overlapping this one mainly his mother who is disabled and can't work she was very instrumental in taking him out of state to get clean and I just want to be able to present all the facts to him so he can't say I wasn't open an honest with him about this an I want him to know just because I forgive doesn't mean its a free ride from here on out. Another issue I have is leaving our child alone with his mother who has told me because of her disability as to why she can't work. I don't want to keep her from her grandson but because of her limited mobility an mental issues it concerns me I would want someone there mainly his dad. This is my attempt to be amicable an understanding because my son just turned 3 an already has bad abandonment and sensory issues an fighting wont help his situation adjusting to dad being back in his life with one bit. The grandma and the dad live in the house so there will some interaction and so far we have worked out the little things but I am just trying to find the best scenario for our son and make it as easy on him as possible.

If you don't trust the grandmother to tell you that she can't be left alone with the child because she can't care for him, then don't leave him with her.

I have several grandchildren. I also am severely mobility impaired. I told my daughters when they were expecting that I would be able to help with things like babysitting. They already knew this, but i wanted to be sure that they heard it from me and how badly I feel about it. I have offered to go and play with the kids to keep them occupied, as long as someone else was in the house that could pick them up, run after them, etc. My daughters and their husbands have been very understanding about this and very supportative. My grandchildren know that I can't go outside and play with them, but I can do do things like color, watch tv, play inside as long as we don't move around, etc. One of my daughters has a new baby and a few weeks ago the new babies big brother, who is 4 years old, wanted me to sit with him and watch tv. Everyone was busy with the new baby and my daughter. So just because grandma can't get around doesn't mean that she can't play an important role in her grandsons life. Although it may require more patience and understanding on your and his fathers part.

Quote:

---

Quoting Mercy&Grace

---

If you don't trust the grandmother to tell you that she can't be left alone with the child because she can't care for him, then don't leave him with her.

I have several grandchildren. I also am severely mobility impaired. I told my daughters when they were expecting that I would be able to help with things like babysitting. They already knew this, but i wanted to be sure that they heard it from me and how badly I feel about it. I have offered to go and play with the kids to keep them occupied, as long as someone else was in the house that could pick them up, run after them, etc. My daughters and their husbands have been very understanding about this and very supportative. My grandchildren know that I can't go outside and play with them, but I can do do things like color, watch tv, play inside as long as we don't move around, etc. One of my daughters has a new baby and a few weeks ago the new babies big brother, who is 4 years old, wanted me to sit with him and watch tv. Everyone was busy with the new baby and my daughter. So just because grandma can't get around doesn't mean that she can't play an important role in her grandsons life. Although it may require more patience and understanding on your and his fathers part.

---

well she does interact with him and they are starting to bond they have played computer games and she will get in the floor an play cars with him and he will let her hold him for short periods of time which is good is just that when I am there she wants me to take hands off and let her do everything even when my son doesn't want to interact with her she has been in Iowa most of his life and has hepatitis C so I understand her wanting to make up for lost time she left her husband then came down here because her grandson was down here but even in my presence she has told my son things like you don't love nana anymore even though it was in play it made me mad and she always wants him to lay with her in her room where she keeps all her pills an medicine she has to keep them close to here so she can take them but him being in there just freaks me out. and she keeps pushing an hinting at potty training and I know my son isn't ready for that I just got him on sippy cup no bottle. Since her and the dad live in the same house its hard for me to say that since she is also the dads sole form of transportation and takes us to an from his house on his days off neither one of us have our license yet but im hoping to get mine in the fall.

The medicines are a real concern. Do you know if she has child proof caps on ALL of her meds ? But, it's not just prescriptions, it is over the counter meds also. Maybe you could talk to your sons pediatrician about how to approach the topic with grandma regarding her meds. Even with child proof caps, that Does Not Mean A Child Can't Open It. It means that it should take a child a while to open it, but it doesn't always. If she keeps her meds up high or some place where he can't reach them and she is responsible and consistent about Not Leaving Them Down, that should ease some concern. But, if that isn't the case don't let it slide. If she refuses to be responsible with her meds where her grandson is concerned, then you might have a major problem. You also might want to talk to the Pharmacy Manager at your pharmacy about things that you can buy for grandma to put her meds in so your son can't get to them. Of course these types of things only work when they are used ALL the time. Children are so very curious and they climb and crawl and search for things that they know they are't suppose to have. Your son is also learing new things qucikly now, so he may not be climbing when he sees grandma this week, but when he sees her next, he is. . even if next is a day or two later. Does she take naps when he is there ? Does she take medications that might make her sleep soundly ? If she does, if he is laying down with her and she falls asleep and he doesn't that is a perfect time for him to get up and get into things.

A grandparent saying soemthng to the effect of "don't you love me anymore" is normal. Daycares have rules about ages for starting potty training, at least the ones where I live do. Since this is your first child, it would be a good idea to talk to the daycare about when you will need to start it. If he is in therapy for any of his issues, it would also be a good idea to talk to the therapist about when to start potty training, as well as his pediatrician.

Quote:

---

Quoting Mercy&Grace

---

The medicines are a real concern. Do you know if she has child proof caps on ALL of her meds ? But, it's not just prescriptions, it is over the counter meds also. Maybe you could talk to your sons pediatrician about how to approach the topic with grandma regarding her meds. Even with child proof caps, that Does Not Mean A Child Can't Open It. It means that it should take a child a while to open it, but it doesn't always. If she keeps her meds up high or some place where he can't reach them and she is responsible and consistent about Not Leaving Them Down, that should ease some concern. But, if that isn't the case don't let it slide. If she refuses to be responsible with her meds where her grandson is concerned, then you might have a major problem. You also might want to talk to the Pharmacy Manager at your pharmacy about things that you can buy for grandma to put her meds in so your son can't get to them. Of course these types of things only work when they are used ALL the time. Children are so very curious and they climb and crawl and search for things that they know they are't suppose to have. Your son is also learing new things qucikly now, so he may not be climbing when he sees grandma this week, but when he sees her next, he is. . even if next is a day or two later. Does she take naps when he is there ? Does she take medications that might make her sleep soundly ? If she does, if he is laying down with her and she falls asleep and he doesn't that is a perfect time for him to get up and get into things.

A grandparent saying soemthng to the effect of "don't you love me anymore" is normal. Daycares have rules about ages for starting potty training, at least the ones where I live do. Since this is your first child, it would be a good idea to talk to the daycare about when you will need to start it. If he is in therapy for any of his issues, it would also be a good idea to talk to the therapist about when to start potty training, as well as his pediatrician.

---

my parents never say that to him an they are grandparents you just don't tell a child with abandonment issues that they don't love you anymore even in play. He is not in daycare never has been I don't work so and even with assistance don't have the money he has an appointment on the 29th with a special needs pediatrician and I am going to ask about potty training then. she has taken naps when its just me an my son over there and she has also done it when the dad is there too and i will admit I have seen her wake up from a nap when it gets quiet an I have seen her sleep right one through loud noises. On the medicines she keeps one in the fridge where he cant get it but the rest are in a monthly pill deal but ive never seen her put them up real high where he cant get them. She has back surgery on the 19th to deaden some nerves on her back and she will have to go to physical therapy afterwards but she had mobility issues before this. With her hepaatitis C her deppresion anmenia diabetes an other things she still isn't very mobile. he hasnt laid down with her yet that freaks me out when its time for a nap or he tries to go to sleep he will let her hold him but always reaches for me in the end. I did express concern to my sons dad about being left alone with the grandma but he got offended I mean that is his mother. My parents are not perfect and have had their struggles in the past my dad has COPD one eye an 7 discs fused in his back but yet he cant get on disability separate issue an like you he knows he can't handle william by himself. I do feel like the badguy sometimes but in the end william comes first and I am glad they are in his life but I guess when 3 people are fighting over time with one precious boy things get difficult but I did tell them both I would try to be more understanding.