Non-Offending Parent's Rights are Being Violated by Protective Services

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: North Carolina

A year ago, the local CPS took my then 7 year old son away from his mother. She was living in a motel room with 4 kids total, a new boyfriend and only one bed. The two youngest kids (including my son) were in need of medical attention and none of the children had been to school in over a month. She was already on probation for the children missing too much school, and was abusing pain pills, drinking excessively, and suffering from untreated severe depression. I was living in Florida at the time, and had no idea anything was wrong until I got a phone call from DSS.
Some background on the mother-when her and I split six years ago, she moved to NC and back with her first husband. By the timethe kids got taken, she was in the motel cheating on him while he was out busting his knuckles. The first husband and I have taken care of each others kids here and there over the last ten years. He is a good guy. He has already gotten the two oldest kids (both his) back. The two youngest (one his, and the youngest mine) are still in foster care.
Over the following several months, I made several trips to NC for court, and also to meet with the DSS people. DSS talked me into signing a case plan (parenting classes, drug testing, supervised visitation, psychiatric and substance abuse evaluation.) They also told me I had to move to NC to get custody. My court appointed attorney merely told me to do whatever DSS said. In June, I put my life on hold, moved to NC, rented a house big enough for me and my son, completed the parenting class, and was allowed supervised visitation with my son at a visitation center run by a charity that gets all their business from DSS.
Over the course of four visits, I began to get less and less info from DSS about how my son was doing, and they even stopped allowing me to go through his school bookbag. During the last visit, the DSS worker basically took complete control of the visit, telling my son to do this or that, interrupting me when I tried to talk to him.
I passed every single drug test they gave me. I asked for unsupervised visits, and if not that, then supervised visits at other public places such as McDonald's, or a local park. They just kept saying no, no, no.
When I went to do the psych/substance eval, the therapist said she didn't find any mental health problems. She asked about drinking and drug use. I told her I had drank two beers the night before. She said, and I quote, "Because you told me you drank two beers last night, I am diagnosing you with a substance abuse problem." I said, "Well, I guess you have to diagnose me with something, right? I'll go get a second opinion. We're done here." I paid the receptionist, and stepped outside awaiting a receipt. The therapist came out after several minutes, gave me back my money, and said, "Look, I just don't have enough information from DSS about this. I can't give a professional opinion anyway." Come to find out, this lady had done this before to other people. At that point, I told DSS to communicate through my lawyer only.
I took all this to my court appointed attorney, and told him to bring it up in court, and to ask the judge to overrule DSS on the visitation issue. He did none of that. He simply told me, "That will be futile" and then when he did get up to speak, told the judge how sorry I supposedly was for making a stink, and that I was going to be a good boy and obey DSS. I was so shocked I couldn't even speak.
At that point, I fired my lawyer, and told DSS I refused to comply with their treatment plan any longer, being as that I had done everything on it, and hadn't even been accused of anything to begin with. I demanded they return my child to me, which of course they didn't. The only thing they HAVEN'T done is terminate my parental rights. I have told them I intend to sue them wherever and however I have to. I think I have a civil rights case. I did absolutely nothing to warrant CPS treating me this way. I am the ONLY non-offending parent in this. The mother has since left the state with yet another boyfriend, without telling anyone.
DSS wants to give my son to the ex husband, so as to keep him and his brothers together. I don't have a problem with this, and neither does the ex husband. I would prefer he live with me, of course, but I will settle for just not having DSS actively attempt to keep my son and I apart. I cannot for the life of me find a civil rights lawyer who can practice in NC, or a lawyer who has a track record of fighting CPS and winning. Any help and legal advice would be welcome, as I will probably wind up having to do this pro se.

CPS has immunity quite frankly. You need new counsel. How did you not know your son hadn't been to school in over a month? Do you not contact your child? Do you not contact the school?

I was living in Florida at the time. I only saw him a few times a year and I always went during a school vacation time. Yes I spoke to him every week via skype. I also spoke to his lying mother via skype too. I didn't have any reason to think anything was amiss. I would ask him how school was, he'd say it was going fine. His mother said the same. I made the mistake of trusting the woman.

We get no small number of stories in this forum that boil down to, "I'm pure and sainted, my ex- is evil incarnate, and for some reason not everybody can see that." If we accept those stories at face value, we are not in a position to offer much in the way of analysis; if we don't, we often receive a great deal of hostility for merely suggesting that there is more to the story. But to be blunt, even when one of the parties involved is close to being a candidate for sainthood, there is always more to the story.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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The first husband and I have taken care of each others kids here and there over the last ten years. He is a good guy. He has already gotten the two oldest kids (both his) back. The two youngest (one his, and the youngest mine) are still in foster care.

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By the time we get to the end of your story, we know that your child has been a member of his household during much of the period in question, while you see your child only a few times per year -- so even if on rare occasion you have cared for the first husband's child, there's no equivalency. We have no way of discerning at this point why his youngest child has not been returned to his care, as you have not shared any information relevant to that question, but it is reasonable to say that protective services sees him as having been in the role of a primary caregiver, perhaps the primary caregiver, during your ex's slide into addiction and mental illness, while you have been exercising occasional visitation from another state.

During the time he has been in his mother's care, it is very unlikely that you did not know that problems were developing with mom. As the parent, even from another state, you could have requested that the school provide you with copies of school reports and keep you in the loop on any issues or problems. To the extent that your story is, "I was in Florida and, between the distance and my limited contact, it was difficult to know what was going on", it's not unreasonable for the court to be concerned about the extent of your actual interest in your child's life. To the extent that the court believes that you were aware of problems but found it easier to ignore them than to act in a manner that would protect your child from neglect or harm, that would certainly be a factor in how the court would approach you during the subsequent protective proceedings.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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DSS talked me into signing a case plan (parenting classes, drug testing, supervised visitation, psychiatric and substance abuse evaluation.) They also told me I had to move to NC to get custody. My court appointed attorney merely told me to do whatever DSS said.

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Here, reasonably speaking, there has to be a back story. That's not a standard approach for protective services.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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When I went to do the psych/substance eval, the therapist said she didn't find any mental health problems. She asked about drinking and drug use. I told her I had drank two beers the night before. She said, and I quote, "Because you told me you drank two beers last night, I am diagnosing you with a substance abuse problem." I said, "Well, I guess you have to diagnose me with something, right? I'll go get a second opinion. We're done here."

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The short version of this is that rather than completing a court-ordered evaluation, something that you should have scheduled very early in this process, you threw a temper tantrum and stormed out. Further, your narrative again suggests a back story that you are choosing not to share, as it's simply not credible that a therapist would find a substance abuse problem based upon your having consumed two beers unless there is (for example, and at a minimum) a history of alcoholism or addiction.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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The therapist came out after several minutes, gave me back my money, and said, "Look, I just don't have enough information from DSS about this. I can't give a professional opinion anyway."

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Well, yeah, because you stormed out of the evaluation. Even with the provision of whatever additional information might have come from DSS, your failure to complete the evaluation rendered it impossible for her to report back much of anything more than the circumstances of your storming out of the session.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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Come to find out, this lady had done this before to other people.

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What lady did what to what other people?

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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I took all this to my court appointed attorney, and told him to bring it up in court, and to ask the judge to overrule DSS on the visitation issue. He did none of that. He simply told me, "That will be futile" and then when he did get up to speak, told the judge how sorry I supposedly was for making a stink, and that I was going to be a good boy and obey DSS. I was so shocked I couldn't even speak.

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You have a misapprehension about how these proceedings work. DSS can request court-ordered visitation, but the order comes from the court. Asking the court to overrule a request by DSS to continue supervised visitation, on the heels of your refusing to complete a court-ordered psychological and substance abuse assessment, was futile. Your lawyer was correct to apologize to the court on your behalf, as a step toward digging you out of the hole you created for yourself and getting you another chance to complete your court-ordered assessment. That shouldn't have been a surprise to you -- if at all possible the lawyer should have explained to you what he was going to do in court and why -- but the court would not have any interest in hearing how your behavior was justified. The court ordered you to go through the assessment and is not at all likely too have cared that you didn't like questions or statements made during the assessment or to hear your claims about why you believed they justified your storming out before you completed the evaluation.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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At that point, I fired my lawyer, and told DSS I refused to comply with their treatment plan any longer, being as that I had done everything on it, and hadn't even been accused of anything to begin with. I demanded they return my child to me, which of course they didn't.

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You did all of this in court, in front of the judge?

"Doctor, my foot hurts, and it's CPS's fault."
"What happened to your foot?"
"I got a shotgun, loaded it, pointed it at my foot, and pulled the trigger. How could CPS do that to me?"

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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The only thing they HAVEN'T done is terminate my parental rights. I have told them I intend to sue them wherever and however I have to.

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If you're now refusing to cooperate with the agreed plan, are refusing to participate in visitation, and are refusing to complete your court-ordered evaluation, do you know what you're doing? You're reloading that shotgun and pointing it at your other foot.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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DSS wants to give my son to the ex husband, so as to keep him and his brothers together.

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And through your recent choices, you have given them the opportunity to convince the court that you're not willing to cooperate with their reunification efforts, such that the court has no choice but to terminate your rights so that the child can get a permanent placement in an appropriate home, apparently with the person who has been his joint or primary caregiver for the past six years.

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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I cannot for the life of me find a civil rights lawyer who can practice in NC, or a lawyer who has a track record of fighting CPS and winning.

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The problem here is that you have no case against the court, against DSS, against CPS, or against anybody else. So what you should do is stop thinking about how you can sue somebody, and start thinking about how you can get back on track for reunification, or at least work toward a placement with the first husband that does not necessarily involve terminating your rights or restricting his ability to allow visitation.

I am most definitely NOT a saint. I am also NOT a drunk or a druggie, NOT a deadbeat, and NOT a child abuser.
No, I didn't fire my lawyer and make demands in front of the judge. I'm not that stupid. I probably would have been held in contempt and jailed. I did not throw a "temper tantrum" with the shrink. I said, "I guess you gotta give me something here. I don't agree with you. I am going to get a second opinion." The therapist in question has done this before-hand out some diagnosis so she can get paid. She didn't refund my money because I threw a fit. She refunded my money because she got caught. The totality of my recorded substance use is getting caught in my early twenties with a little weed on me. I'm not sitting here stoned out of my mind or blasted drunk. I probably should have just lied to the therapist and said "oh, no, I'm a teetotaler."
The ex husband is on the hook because while mother was going downhill, he did nothing about it except go work his night shift and then sleep during the day. He admitted it, after the fact.
As far as the DSS procedure with the case plan and all, they told me "We do this with everyone" I asked, "even people that haven't done anything wrong?" the reply was "Yes." Parenting class, no problem, only cost ten bucks and twelve hours. Drug tests, I get it, again no problem. As far as visitation, the court order specifies a MINIMUM, not a concrete figure. DSS is free to do more visits than the judge requires, but despite repeated requests, constant contact with my case mgr, and months of cooperation they didn't. They say they want me to be around my son alot, he has to get to know me and all, so I do that-including paying attention to school. In response, they cut me off about school info, and in the end, I only got ONE visit a month instead of the two I was supposed to get. They claim, oh, the drug tests are random, and you need one before every visit, and the lab takes two days. Then they don't call for three weeks!!
Also, I actually had NO IDEA things were as wrong as they were. I knew mother didn't get along with husband (no surprise there), and I knew that bills were hard to pay, and I chipped in as much as I could without putting myself in a cardboard box. I should have checked behind her with school and such and I didn't. No excuse there.
I cooperated with these people. I gave them what they wanted. The second I start to disagree with anything, all the above mentioned BS starts. I didn't stop cooperating with them until after they stopped making a good faith effort.
DSS in this county has a history of corruption, overstepping their bounds, and screwing up. The psych clinic they refer one to, well, look what the therapist tried to do. I called them on their BS, and they didn't like it.

Oh, ha, four hours ago, a CPS investigator from another county shows up at my house out of the blue, and advises me that she is investigating allegations that the foster father on multiple occasions kicked one of his foster children (fortunately not my son or his brother). She also said there were concerns about the foster father using excessively strict discipline (which isn't a crime, I know). If anyone is wondering why another county is investigating, they said it was because a conflict of interest exists if the county that employs the foster parents investigates. (Not the first time in recent years here that foster parents have been accused of abuse. A few foster parents got locked up for it too, along with a caseworker.)

Instead of silly shotgun metaphors and assuming I throw "temper tantrums" how about some statutes I can actually look at that says DSS can do whatever they want, and that they are "immune." Show me where it says in the law that DSS can take these actions with me when I have not been found to have done anything wrong. And if that is fact, then the whole concept of parental rights is just a bunch of BS.
If the DSS procedures I have explained here aren't the way things are usually supposed to go, then I'm being lied to by DSS and MOST DEFINITELY DO have a case.

How does CPS have "immunity", and what are you saying they have immunity against. What NC statutes support your statement? I'm not in Ohio.

He argues.... with an attorney

Good going. Me thinks you need to hire another attorney. You did throw a temper tantrum and you're ready to throw one here.

First:

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When I went to do the psych/substance eval, the therapist said she didn't find any mental health problems. She asked about drinking and drug use. I told her I had drank two beers the night before. She said, and I quote, "Because you told me you drank two beers last night, I am diagnosing you with a substance abuse problem." I said, "Well, I guess you have to diagnose me with something, right? I'll go get a second opinion. We're done here." I paid the receptionist, and stepped outside awaiting a receipt. The therapist came out after several minutes, gave me back my money, and said, "Look, I just don't have enough information from DSS about this. I can't give a professional opinion anyway." Come to find out, this lady had done this before to other people

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But then

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I did not throw a "temper tantrum" with the shrink. I said, "I guess you gotta give me something here. I don't agree with you. I am going to get a second opinion." The therapist in question has done this before-hand out some diagnosis so she can get paid. She didn't refund my money because I threw a fit. She refunded my money because she got caught. The totality of my recorded substance use is getting caught in my early twenties with a little weed on me. I'm not sitting here stoned out of my mind or blasted drunk. I probably should have just lied to the therapist and said "oh, no, I'm a teetotaler."

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The tone of one is quite, quite different from that of the other. Which one is true?

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Quoting nonoffendingdad

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I was living in Florida at the time. I only saw him a few times a year and I always went during a school vacation time. Yes I spoke to him every week via skype. I also spoke to his lying mother via skype too. I didn't have any reason to think anything was amiss. I would ask him how school was, he'd say it was going fine. His mother said the same. I made the mistake of trusting the woman.

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So, no blame for the lying your son was doing?

Wow. You guys sure are something else... This has got to be the rudest, most condescending bunch of folks I have ever run into on the internet. LMAO. Go ahead quote monty python. I need another laugh outta you guys!!!! You guys low on work or something? Nothing better to do than beat up on some poor non-lawyer. You poor stupid bastards. Enjoy your nose in the air while it lasts...oxygen's really goddamn ****ing thin in here!!!! This site is proof positive why everyone hates lawyers-you're all a bunch of overeducated pomous ass****s. Gotta grab my gas mask-the ****ing stink of ego is choking me. ****ing idiots. Total waste of my ****ing time. I looked around this site, and all you assholes ever do is, well, be assholes. **** each and every one of you scoundrels. This sure was enter****ingtaining!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh.... the temper tantrum ensues. Someone has potty mouth