Seeking Custody of a Four-Year-Old Child I Just Found Out that I Have

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana. I was served with paternity and child support papers a month ago in the state I live in, which is Alaska. Prior to the paternity results revealing I was the father of the child in question I had no indication whatsoever that I may have fathered a child. The child is four and a half now and the mother and I were never married. I am very upset that I have not been excluded from my child's life and want to play an active role in their life now. I would ultimately like to have full custody. The mother of the child has several records of domestic violence on her record in Florida and Alaska; one of which is against me but occurred over five years ago. I have a clean record and live an honest life and am now married with two children. What are my chances of getting full or at least half time custody of my child?

Roughly zero at the moment.

Mom has custody at the moment. To change that, you'll need to show a change of circumstance has occurred and that change is enough to require a modification. Outside of that, start with visitation. You need to be introduced to the child and this will typically take place in the child's state and be supervised to begin with and at your cost.

If there isn't already a custody order in place, you're still at a disadvantage - you are an absolute stranger to the child and the state will be loathe to remove him/her from his/her mother's physical custody without having a darn good reason for doing so.

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Quoting Wkh

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Prior to the paternity results revealing I was the father of the child in question I had no indication whatsoever that I may have fathered a child.

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Should we infer that the mother was in a relationship with you in Alaska, left you shortly after she became pregnant and moved to Indiana, and that you and she have not communicated between that time and when you were served with the paternity action?

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Quoting Wkh

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I am very upset that I have not been excluded....

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I think you misspoke there. ;)

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Quoting Wkh

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The mother of the child has several records of domestic violence on her record in Florida and Alaska; one of which is against me but occurred over five years ago.

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And the other, even older? When you say "incidents" do you mean criminal convictions, or do you mean incidents where the police were called but either charges were not pressed or were subsequently dismissed? If these incidents are five and more years old, they're not likely to be given much weight by a court.

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Quoting Wkh

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=What are my chances of getting full or at least half time custody of my child?

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The child has been living with the mother since birth, and absent some serious present problems in the mother's home you should expect that the mother will continue to be the child's primary custodian. Other issues aside, a 50/50 custody arrangement is not realistic when the parents live about 3,000 miles apart, and you need to also keep in mind that the child will soon be starting kindergarten.

Take a look at the Indiana parenting time guidelines for a sense of what courts typically order for long-distance visitation.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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To change that, you'll need to show a change of circumstance has occurred and that change is enough to require a modification.

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This appears to be a first custody / parenting time order, to be issued at the end of a paternity case, in which case it is not necessary to show a change of circumstances before the court makes its custody determination. However, the child has an established custodial environment, which courts are typically hesitant to change (and legally constrained from changing) in the absence of compelling facts.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Should we infer that the mother was in a relationship with you in Alaska, left you shortly after she became pregnant and moved to Indiana, and that you and she have not communicated between that time and when you were served with the paternity action?

I think you misspoke there. ;)

And the other, even older? When you say "incidents" do you mean criminal convictions, or do you mean incidents where the police were called but either charges were not pressed or were subsequently dismissed? If these incidents are five and more years old, they're not likely to be given much weight by a court.

The child has been living with the mother since birth, and absent some serious present problems in the mother's home you should expect that the mother will continue to be the child's primary custodian. Other issues aside, a 50/50 custody arrangement is not realistic when the parents live about 3,000 miles apart, and you need to also keep in mind that the child will soon be starting kindergarten.

Take a look at the Indiana parenting time guidelines for a sense of what courts typically order for long-distance visitation.

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Insert facepalm here.

Did not see the Indiana part. Indiana takes all of the guess-work out of it. Thank you!

Yes the mother and I were in a relationship in Alaska. I estimate of the child was born on time, that she was approximately two months pregnant when she left. It was a domestic violence charge of her against me that caused her to leave. A restraining order was enacted. The two domestic violence incidences that I know of occurred between 5-6 years ago and charges were actually filed in both situations. I am willing to go to the other state and establish a relationship with the child as well as have phone calls and whatnot.

I also have reason to believe, after doing some digging, that the mother has a more current domestic violence charge against her. Possibly within the last year. Would this have more weight?

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Quoting Wkh

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Yes the mother and I were in a relationship in Alaska. I estimate of the child was born on time, that she was approximately two months pregnant when she left. It was a domestic violence charge of her against me that caused her to leave. A restraining order was enacted. The two domestic violence incidences that I know of occurred between 5-6 years ago and charges were actually filed in both situations. I am willing to go to the other state and establish a relationship with the child as well as have phone calls and whatnot.

I also have reason to believe, after doing some digging, that the mother has a more current domestic violence charge against her. Possibly within the last year. Would this have more weight?

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Charges are one thing. Convictions are another thing entirely. But honestly? I think you'd have a hard time convincing the court that the child is actually at risk versus whoever Mom is ... "engaging" ... each time. Had you been around consistently it might be different (and there's no blame there - just a statement of fact). If she continues with DV convictions, you'll be in a stronger position.

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Quoting Wkh

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Yes the mother and I were in a relationship in Alaska. I estimate of the child was born on time, that she was approximately two months pregnant when she left. It was a domestic violence charge of her against me that caused her to leave. A restraining order was enacted. The two domestic violence incidences that I know of occurred between 5-6 years ago and charges were actually filed in both situations. I am willing to go to the other state and establish a relationship with the child as well as have phone calls and whatnot.

I also have reason to believe, after doing some digging, that the mother has a more current domestic violence charge against her. Possibly within the last year. Would this have more weight?

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You are a total stranger to the child. Forget all about custody at this time. You need to establish parenting time and get to know the child before you remotely consider that. The Indiana courts are NOT going to rip a 4 1/2 year old out of their environment to send them to live 3000 miles away with a total stranger at all, and not without seriously strong cause in the case of a parent with whom they are bonded.

Thank you everyone for addressing my questions. While disappointing it is 100% understandable.

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Quoting Wkh

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Thank you everyone for addressing my questions. While disappointing it is 100% understandable.

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Now for the reality check.

I think the best you can hope for is occasional visitation where you travel to Indiana to see the child.

This is likely to be status quo until the child is old enough to travel unaccompanied by air, maybe age 9 or 10, maybe for a few weeks during summer or even a whole summer at some point.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Roughly zero at the moment.

Mom has custody at the moment. To change that, you'll need to show a change of circumstance has occurred and that change is enough to require a modification. Outside of that, start with visitation. You need to be introduced to the child and this will typically take place in the child's state and be supervised to begin with and at your cost.

If there isn't already a custody order in place, you're still at a disadvantage - you are an absolute stranger to the child and the state will be loathe to remove him/her from his/her mother's physical custody without having a darn good reason for doing so.

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Psst.. in an initial determination it is strictly a BEST INTEREST case. No change necessary. But I agree with the rest.