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Can a Seventeen-Year-Old Pick Which Parent She Lives With

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  • 01-03-2016, 02:47 PM
    NorthwestToffee
    Can a Seventeen-Year-Old Pick Which Parent She Lives With
    My question involves juvenile law in the State of: I'm 17 and want to move back in with my Mom in a different state (Wisconsin) after I graduate high school (I will still be 17). My parents are separated and neither has full legal custody and I'm not leaving just to leave out of teen spite (maybe a little).

    I want to leave on my graduation day after the ceremony because my mom has offered to take me with her since the two colleges who've accepted me are in that region of the states (Minnesota and Iowa) and she has offered to help me get to whichever college I choose to attend. I would prefer to leave with her because I have no way of traveling to those places if I stay here, my mom is the only possible way I can afford the travel costs since my Dad refuses to support me in leaving for an out-of-state college/university. But he also refuses to allow me to leave with my mom.

    I know that, in the state of Oregon, I will not be prosecuted as a runaway but I also know that I have legal right to choose to stay with my Mom since my Dad doesn't have any court ordered rights over me that my Mom doesn't have.

    Is it legal for me to willingly choose to leave with my Mom for college/university reasons (it would only be for the length of summer until school starts and then I'll be living on campus at either institution); is it legal for my Dad to physically force me to stay; is it legal for my Mom (who lives in Wisconsin) to take me in for a few months; and what laws are there to support me if I choose to involve authorities to make sure the situation escalates the day I plan to leave?

    Thank you, if you reply, for your help. I really am confused about this.

    - - - Updated - - -

    *DOESN'T escalate. I do not want the situation to get more difficult or troublesome.
  • 01-03-2016, 02:50 PM
    cbg
    Re: I'm 17 and Want to Move
    1.) What state do you currently live in?

    2.) Are you saying that your parents share legal custody but your Dad has physical custody?

    BTW, no matter what state you are in, the legal age at which you can leave WITHOUT permission is 18. I strongly suspect that the answers to your questions are: Only if both parents approve, yes, no, and none, but before I confirm that you answer mine first.
  • 01-03-2016, 03:20 PM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: I'm 17 and Want to Move
    There's seems more to your story than you've shared, or perhaps more than you know, because dad has been able to veto mom's suggestion that you come and live with her. I'm not going to speculate about what may be happening. Mom wants to support your change of custody? Then mom should consult a custody lawyer to make sure that she's not going to land herself in legal hot water.
  • 01-03-2016, 03:24 PM
    cdwjava
    Re: I'm 17 and Want to Move
    In general, you will have to remain with the parent who holds PHYSICAL custody (which, from the sound of it, is dad, in Oregon). And while you may not be prosecuted for running away from home, it is possible that anyone who aids you in leaving the custody of dad CAN be. This includes mom - especially if she violates any custody and visitation orders that might be in place. You can also potentially be forcibly returned home even if you flee the state to live with mom.

    Before you start involving your parents and others around you in potentially debilitating legal battles, perhaps you had best nail dad down to his position. If dad will not fight your leaving with mom and you can live without his support at college, then you may be able to cut ties and leave home with whatever he'll let you take with you. If he will object, then you may very well have to wait until age 18. You may have trouble enrolling at college as a minor without your legal guardians' permission AND as a reported runaway, so if you do not do this right, your college chances are likely to be delayed anyway - or greatly complicated.
  • 01-03-2016, 03:58 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: I'm 17 and Want to Move
    You have no legal rights to say which parent you want to live with. A Judge may or may not take into consideration who you want to live with. But, that would involve your parents going to court and the Judge taking you into his chambers and talking to you without anyone there.
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