Filing for a Modification of Visitation After Getting a Restraining Order

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York.

I have sole custody with all decision making. He has 1 day per week visits.
Long of it, 2 yrs back he shows up making threats, tried entering home, threatened to kick down door. Police showed up heard him and advised I get OP at family court.
He violated order, and local criminal court issues 2 year perm order restricting everything except visits per Supreme Court order. Less then a week later he sends threatening email and is arrested again. This is currently ongoing in court. Court advocate thinks I should file a visitation modification based on this and the many past emails where ex stated he didn't want child, admissions of diagnosis of bipolar and a few other manic personalities.

Christmas Eve he gives our 7 year old a tablet. When I go to hook it up to my wifi I notice he has it linked to iCloud and the find phone feature is turned on. I can't turn it off because it requires his Apple password. I call the police department for advice. They said keep it turned off or give it back.

I inform ex that we will be returning it so child can still use the gift during visits.

He flips out telling me I'm being spiteful towards child.
Tells me that this choice of wording is what his lawyer uses and (supposedly) the DA. (I assume if DA thought my fears were spite, the case against him would have been dropped months ago)
He's threatening to take me to court over this and that my fiancé stands at the door during curbside pick up/drop off.

I let him know I was following police advice and that sending it back makes sure child can still use device.

Also, I took him to court early this year about an issue he didn't address regarding child, judge was not happy with him and gave him 2 mos. to comply. That time ended months ago. Financially, I'm tapped out from all the back and forth and due to years of abuse, I have a difficult time being anywhere near him without experiencing anxiety.
(And technically I make a little too much for legal aid)
Child and I both receive therapy at a local shelter. An advocate there says she will come for support but can't do much else.

My question is, what's involved in a modification and what do I bring?
Do I file a separate issue for the other problem or can it be addressed at the same time.
During the last court appearance about the non compliance of divorce, the judge stated I do not need to file issues there, but can use the family court instead. Is that still true if he hasn't complied with the same issue?

I'm scared to death of him and could barely speak last time (judge had to ask me to speak up several times and I was shaking the entire time)

Advice?

Only you can make the decision whether preventing contact with dad online is a good thing. In some respects, it is craptastic parenting. On the other hand, it may save your life when you move to a new location. Only you can make that decision. The tablet GPS and wireless IP addresses could be tracked if the proper software was added.

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Quoting Disagreeable

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Only you can make the decision whether preventing contact with dad online is a good thing. In some respects, it is craptastic parenting. On the other hand, it may save your life when you move to a new location. Only you can make that decision. The tablet GPS and wireless IP addresses could be tracked if the proper software was added.

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The find phone feature is a GPS option he activated and iCloud can do it as well. I have no plans to move anywhere, but having the gps on means if child took it to family members homes, therapy at the shelter etc, he can track the device and since child is young, other than school and visits, is with me.

As I noted, you need to judge whether that is a potential threat.

Unless the iPad has active cellular service, which can be deactivated in the settings, the only time "find iPhone" will work is when it is connected to the Internet (which can also be turned off).

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Unless the iPad has active cellular service, which can be deactivated in the settings, the only time "find iPhone" will work is when it is connected to the Internet (which can also be turned off).

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I read that it can also save password information so logging into wifi can give him that.
My stepfather just suggested we keep it and put it in the closet. He offered to buy an identical one so child can still play not knowing it's different and on visit days if child wants to take it along send the original. He said ex can't complain we aren't taking it along with us because that would be admitting he's tracking.

But what about the other problems? Can I combine the modification (looking for supervised visits) and the non compliance of previous court order?

It saves wifi passwords, but they're encrypted, so no access to passwords. You can also go to any given wifi connection and click "forget this network" to make it lose the password.

Ask your ex- if you can set up "find iPhone" with your own Apple account -- that way there's the security of being able to find the iPad, but your ex- would have to get you to do it if the device goes missing?

I'm not going to comment on the other issue, as I have no information about it, but yes, you can bring motions on two different issues on the same date.

Getting supervised visitation because you don't like the fact that a very expensive gift had a "find" feature activated, to help find it if it is lost? I don't see it happening.

The gps is not the reason for modification, it was just a recent event as the police officer I spoke to said I "caught before he did anything with it"
As stated above, he has repeatedly violated restraining orders (which child is also on and protected by except for visitation day) and because of the nature of the violations (threats against myself and family, showing up threatening to kick in door etc) the court advocate at the criminal court suggested I do so.

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Quoting BunnySlippers

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The gps is not the reason for modification, it was just a recent event as the police officer I spoke to said I "caught before he did anything with it"

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Like, look for the iPad when junior misplaces it? Sorry, but paranoia is not a basis for modification of custody, let alone for supervised visitation.

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Quoting BunnySlippers

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As stated above, he has repeatedly violated restraining orders (which child is also on and protected by except for visitation day) and because of the nature of the violations (threats against myself and family, showing up threatening to kick in door etc) the court advocate at the criminal court suggested I do so.

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You have told us, "He violated order, and local criminal court issues 2 year perm order restricting everything except visits per Supreme Court order. Less then a week later he sends threatening email and is arrested again. This is currently ongoing in court." You have not shared any further details with us. It's not clear from your post what is going on in court, or what the outcome is likely to be. You have not indicated how this issue affects the child. I suggest discussing the details with your custody lawyer.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Like, look for the iPad when junior misplaces it? Sorry, but paranoia is not a basis for modification of custody, let alone for supervised visitation.

You have told us, "He violated order, and local criminal court issues 2 year perm order restricting everything except visits per Supreme Court order. Less then a week later he sends threatening email and is arrested again. This is currently ongoing in court." You have not shared any further details with us. It's not clear from your post what is going on in court, or what the outcome is likely to be. You have not indicated how this issue affects the child. I suggest discussing the details with your custody lawyer.

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There is no custody lawyer. Custody was decided during our divorce years back. Child was present during violent outbursts and the subject of threatening emails. (Sending articles about men killing their families)
Child is in therapy because of what was witnessed and I can't deny visitation based on this, I have to file a modification. Since I can no longer afford attorneys due to all the prior issues I am forced to try on my own and I don't know how to on my own.

We spent too many years living in fear. It's not fair to my child just keep letting them be afraid week after week. I have to do something.

We don't have the facts, so we cannot comment on what is likely to happen in court should you attempt to modify custody based upon whatever is presently happening in court.