How Hard is it For a Father to Get Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of:

Is it based on the code in https://vacode.org/20-124.3/ ?

Thanks,

You're asking a question in a vacuum.

Is there already a custody order?

How old is the child?

How long has the child lived with the primary parent?

If the mother is a drug addicted mass murderer it's pretty easy. If the mom is a typical person, both parents are considered equal once the child is above a year or so in age. The court weights a myriad of matters and makes a deteminstion based on those facts in what is ultimately considered to be the best interest of the child.

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Quoting jk

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If the mother is a drug addicted mass murderer it's pretty easy. If the mom is a typical person, both parents are considered equal once the child is above a year or so in age. The court weights a myriad of matters and makes a deteminstion based on those facts in what is ultimately considered to be the best interest of the child.

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Both parents are considered equal as soon as paternity is established. Primary caregiver is much more important.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Both parents are considered equal as soon as paternity is established. Primary caregiver is much more important.

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Well, the reality is some states do give a mother preferential treatment during the first year or so of a child's life. In some the mother is automatically given physical custody for awhile unless she falls under that drug addicted mass murderer group.

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Quoting jk

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Well, the reality is some states do give a mother preferential treatment during the first year or so of a child's life. In some the mother is automatically given physical custody for awhile unless she falls under that drug addicted mass murderer group.

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If the parents are unwed custody does default to Mom in most states. But that's the only situation (short of emergency etc.,) when that would be true. Otherwise, all else being equal it will fall to primary caregiver.

Thankfully the "tender years doctrine" has all but disappeared ... at least on paper.

Will the temporary custody order be final after trial normally?

How about Parental Alienation and keep blocking the contact with child?

How hard to approve the contempt of temporary custody court order? If she often lies in the court even sworn answers to discovery. File false report to CPS.

Have been frustrated many times, but can't give up. It's child's future. Have to hold on.

Thanks!

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Quoting custody

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Will the temporary custody order be final after trial normally?

How about Parental Alienation and keep blocking the contact with child?

How hard to approve the contempt of temporary custody court order? If she often lies in the court even sworn answers to discovery. File false report to CPS.

Have been frustrated many times, but can't give up. It's child's future. Have to hold on.

Thanks!

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Your not helping yourself.

Please give us the details - because they MATTER.

So. What is the CURRENT situation? What do you want to change?

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Quoting custody

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Will the temporary custody order be final after trial normally?

How about Parental Alienation and keep blocking the contact with child?

How hard to approve the contempt of temporary custody court order? If she often lies in the court even sworn answers to discovery. File false report to CPS.

Have been frustrated many times, but can't give up. It's child's future. Have to hold on.

Thanks!

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Find a real computer with a real keyboard and try telling the whole story.

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Quoting llworking

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Find a real computer with a real keyboard and try telling the whole story.

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*splurts water everywhere*

L! I'm surprised at you! ;) :D

She often denied my access to the child and let child be strange to me, Spread of the animosity to the friends even child was present. After she denied my access a couple weeks, kid was strange to me, hysterical and turn against me when I went to pick up her. She played game and purposely stood around as she knows I could comfort child when child knows she was away. I had no choice and file the case to the court this year. In the temporary custody hearing, she lie and cried for mercy, she spoke almost 15 minutes but I only spoke 1 or 2 minutes. Finally, we got a temporary custody order, I only got the visitation time: child stayed with me every other weekend (not define facetime) and order neither party shall act in any way to prevent the other from being a full participant in the medical issues or any other issue pertaining to the child's health education or welfare.

She played game again in the first two visitation time and I couldn't pick up my kid. She changed child's elementary school without discussing or notification with me. I filed show cause rule. But she lie again, and dismissed. I appeal it, still wait for the next hearing. Why can she continue lying? I have many proofs (email, test message, photo, court document and etc.) but she made up story without any evidence. Very frustrate...

After show cause, she doesn't dare to play same game and deny my visitation time. I go to see child in the school sometime. Child is not strange to me and have better and better relationship with me. She is hostile and dislike it, complains to school and wants to stop me to see child. I asked to increase the visitation time in winter break, but she denies. She continues to block the contact even child had been sick.

It's completely not acceptable to use child as tool/weapon to play game or punish another parent. I'm trying my best to protect my child. Please advise. I appreciate your help!!

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Quoting custody

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She often denied my access to the child and let child be strange to me, Spread of the animosity to the friends even child was present. After she denied my access a couple weeks, kid was strange to me, hysterical and turn against me when I went to pick up her. She played game and purposely stood around as she knows I could comfort child when child knows she was away. I had no choice and file the case to the court this year. In the temporary custody hearing, she lie and cried for mercy, she spoke almost 15 minutes but I only spoke 1 or 2 minutes. Finally, we got a temporary custody order, I only got the visitation time: child stayed with me every other weekend (not define facetime) and order neither party shall act in any way to prevent the other from being a full participant in the medical issues or any other issue pertaining to the child's health education or welfare.

She played game again in the first two visitation time and I couldn't pick up my kid. She changed child's elementary school without discussing or notification with me. I filed show cause rule. But she lie again, and dismissed. I appeal it, still wait for the next hearing. Why can she continue lying? I have many proofs (email, test message, photo, court document and etc.) but she made up story without any evidence. Very frustrate...

After show cause, she doesn't dare to play same game and deny my visitation time. I go to see child in the school sometime. Child is not strange to me and have better and better relationship with me. She is hostile and dislike it, complains to school and wants to stop me to see child. I asked to increase the visitation time in winter break, but she denies. She continues to block the contact even child had been sick.

It's completely not acceptable to use child as tool/weapon to play game or punish another parent. I'm trying my best to protect my child. Please advise. I appreciate your help!!

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Okay. She doesn't have to let you see your child any more than what the court has ordered.

Typically temporary orders become permanent orders, and it would seem that your judge is tending to believe her over you - I have no idea why, maybe she's a better actress, I don't know.

Is there a GAL assigned to the case? (That's a "guardian ad litem" - they advocate for the best interests of the child, not the parents).

Thanks, but she shouldn't block the facetime/phone contact with child and prevent my full participant on child's medical, health and education. She is a good actress. We met three judges. There was a GAL previously, but his position was clear and even ask me to follow her schedule when she kept enrolling child into the class on my rare parenting time without my consent. Thanks!

Did the GAL recommend the child lives with Mom with you having visitation?

Possibly, he shew his position and tried to help her. But he had been removed before he made the recommendation. She even spread bad mouth to child's school and let school staff turn against.

Can you please look at the message? Thanks.

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Quoting custody

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Thanks, but she shouldn't block the facetime/phone contact with child and prevent my full participant on child's medical, health and education. She is a good actress. We met three judges. There was a GAL previously, but his position was clear and even ask me to follow her schedule when she kept enrolling child into the class on my rare parenting time without my consent. Thanks!

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This is what we've gleaned so far:

There is a temporary order in place giving Mom custody with you having visitation. You have tried to have her held in contempt and so far the court has denied you, and the GAL is supportive of Mom and Mom's visitation "conditions".

So we're all on the same page so far, yes?

What you haven't done is tell us, exactly, what the order says. The wording is very important. I'll give you an example:

"I get the child every other weekend" could mean "the court order gives me specific days", or it could mean "I get the child every other weekend as long as Mom agrees" or even "Liberal visitation as agreed upon by both parents".

Finally, after all of this I'm still not sure what you actually hope to achieve. Help us help you - even if that means you have to get someone else to type/write for you.