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What to Do About a Child's Meltdowns at Visitation

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  • 11-23-2015, 06:58 AM
    llworking
    Re: Meltdowns at Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
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    I think the judge is seeing some major alienation going on. I'm just not buying that the judge would actually switch custody if it wasn't a pretty clear-cut case of alienation and/or it's part of a distinct pattern.

    I am guessing that as well...however I have seen some judges make some REALLY bad decisions when they are having a bad day...and this one leans that way for me. Yes, its possible for alienation to happen with a child that young, but its far more prevalent with older children. I cannot imagine someone being able to successful cause my 2 1/2 year old grandson to be alienated from someone else...but I could see it being possible with my 9 year old granddaughter.

    The only way that I can see it being possible (and not just the judge having a bad day) is if mom fought tooth and nail to prevent ANY visitation from happening to start with, and that left a bad taste in the judge's mouth, and then her bringing the case back to try to reduce or stop visitation just made it worse.
  • 11-23-2015, 08:59 AM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Meltdowns at Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I am guessing that as well...however I have seen some judges make some REALLY bad decisions when they are having a bad day...and this one leans that way for me. Yes, its possible for alienation to happen with a child that young, but its far more prevalent with older children. I cannot imagine someone being able to successful cause my 2 1/2 year old grandson to be alienated from someone else...but I could see it being possible with my 9 year old granddaughter.

    The only way that I can see it being possible (and not just the judge having a bad day) is if mom fought tooth and nail to prevent ANY visitation from happening to start with, and that left a bad taste in the judge's mouth, and then her bringing the case back to try to reduce or stop visitation just made it worse.

    I can see it. Don't even have to imagine it. After all, the guy who has custody isn't daddy. He is the biological father. He is not the father, he is biological dad. She took a two year to a psychologist. Guess who the psychologist got the information from regarding the child's behavior -- mom and, if more than mom, mom's family. I highly doubt dad got any input in talking to the psychologist. Mom tried to make a case so that her baby wouldn't have to be away from her and her house overnights. She didn't try to make it better for the child. She wanted to make it better for her and used the child. And the child is 2 and calls and begs mom to come get her? I'm not buying that all.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote:

    Quoting Paige1990
    View Post
    I don't just stand there and video her as she is having a meltdown. As I mentioned earlier I live with family. As I was trying to calm her down someone else pulled out their phone, based on the advise of an attorney.

    Do you have a boyfriend? Child been around your boyfriend? Has the child spent the night at your boyfriend's house?
  • 11-23-2015, 12:40 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Meltdowns at Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I am guessing that as well...however I have seen some judges make some REALLY bad decisions when they are having a bad day...and this one leans that way for me. Yes, its possible for alienation to happen with a child that young, but its far more prevalent with older children. I cannot imagine someone being able to successful cause my 2 1/2 year old grandson to be alienated from someone else...but I could see it being possible with my 9 year old granddaughter.

    The only way that I can see it being possible (and not just the judge having a bad day) is if mom fought tooth and nail to prevent ANY visitation from happening to start with, and that left a bad taste in the judge's mouth, and then her bringing the case back to try to reduce or stop visitation just made it worse.

    The bolded - absolutely. That's precisely what I'm thinking. But as far as the child's age, and it being possible to be alienated from the parent or not, it doesn't matter so much ... it's the attempt (or what the court sees as an attempt) I'm betting the judge acted upon. Not the final result, but what might be perceived as a blatant attempt.

    The videotaping may have been the final straw and yeah, the 2 year old calling Mom and begging to come back home? I'd be raising my eyebrows if I were the judge on that one.

    Regardless Mom knows her credibility is shot. She's going to face an uphill battle now something akin to the boy crying wolf. Was it designed and directed by her red right hand? I'm not sure she had actual malicious intent. Selfish, oh hell yes. But actually malicious ... I dunno. I'd go with "desperate and clueless" before "malicious".
  • 11-23-2015, 01:09 PM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Meltdowns at Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    The bolded - absolutely. That's precisely what I'm thinking. But as far as the child's age, and it being possible to be alienated from the parent or not, it doesn't matter so much ... it's the attempt (or what the court sees as an attempt) I'm betting the judge acted upon. Not the final result, but what might be perceived as a blatant attempt.

    The videotaping may have been the final straw and yeah, the 2 year old calling Mom and begging to come back home? I'd be raising my eyebrows if I were the judge on that one.

    Regardless Mom knows her credibility is shot. She's going to face an uphill battle now something akin to the boy crying wolf. Was it designed and directed by her red right hand? I'm not sure she had actual malicious intent. Selfish, oh hell yes. But actually malicious ... I dunno. I'd go with "desperate and clueless" before "malicious".

    I want my questions answered about the boyfriend and such first. Selfish can be malicious. Mom screwed up. I will bet what I said was correct.
  • 11-23-2015, 01:12 PM
    llworking
    Re: Meltdowns at Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    The bolded - absolutely. That's precisely what I'm thinking. But as far as the child's age, and it being possible to be alienated from the parent or not, it doesn't matter so much ... it's the attempt (or what the court sees as an attempt) I'm betting the judge acted upon. Not the final result, but what might be perceived as a blatant attempt.

    The videotaping may have been the final straw and yeah, the 2 year old calling Mom and begging to come back home? I'd be raising my eyebrows if I were the judge on that one.

    Regardless Mom knows her credibility is shot. She's going to face an uphill battle now something akin to the boy crying wolf. Was it designed and directed by her red right hand? I'm not sure she had actual malicious intent. Selfish, oh hell yes. But actually malicious ... I dunno. I'd go with "desperate and clueless" before "malicious".

    I agree with that. I still cannot help feeling that it might not have been in the best interest of the child.
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