First off, I would like to say that this story go's much further back than the recent events, though today I am fed up. I will start off with the background.
I often hung out with this girl both as friends and sometimes more for about 2years, we worked together at a common retail store. One night on our way home one of my girl-friends had sent me a text message and asked me to call her when I got home. The girl I was seeing knew that my friend was only a friend and often called me for advice at all hours of the day. Well, that night at about 1AM I awoke from my bed to hear someone banging on my windows and screaming and crying my name. I went out side quickly to see what the matter was. (Mind you, at the time I was only 17 years old living with my Aunt, Uncle, and my cousins in their home as a favor.) She was hysterically crying and could barely stand on her own feet.
I managed to get her in her car and I drove her to the emergency room because it seemed as if she was having a panic/anxiety attack and/or contemplating suicide from the words and actions that I got from her. After staying there all night with her and finally getting her own mother and best friend to come and relieve me. I went home to get about 1 hours sleep before work the next day. Needless to say, the next morning I attempted to call out of work but to my dismay my very strick manager and supervisor were not going to allow it.
After Arriving at work I recieved much scolding and almost a notice of termination, for what I thought was saving one of their employee's lives. All things aside I went back to work and tried to do the best job I could on one hours sleep and with all the prior events that had transpired that night. At about 11AM I started recieving harrasing and desperate phone calls to my work from this girl trying to talk to me. (May I say that she was also supposed to work this day and called out and our supervisors were VERY displeased to learn that she was calling the store trying to talk to me, as they knew the events of earlier that morning very well at this point.) I did not pick up my pages, I turned my cell phone off, and told the front desk to not forward any of the calls anymore to my department for fear that she was going to make me lose my job. Then around 12PM she decided to come into the store and start screaming and crying and making a very big sceen at my job. I promptly went into our back room and started to tell my managers about what was happening. I did not think that she would come back there after me as you are not supposed to do so unless you are currently working, but she did anyway.
All in all my manager and supervisors kicked her out of the store and continued to scold me for something that I had absolutely no control over. Well, needless to say, I stopped talking to this girl from that day forward. It was not until about 2 months later that I discovered she was going around to many sources claiming that she was pregnant. After much deliberation I decided that I had to find out what this was all about because; 1) She was claiming the child was mine and if it was I would be damned if this physco was going to have custody of my child, and 2) I have never had my father in my life and I have vowed that if I ever have children I would be in there life and not be a dead-beat dad.
With all of that said, I met her one night to discuss what I had heard. She informed me that she was pregnant and that she believed I was the father. Okay, that's all fine I can suck it up, realize that yes, I had sex with this girl and it is my responsibility. So from that point on I dropped my life, left my aunt and uncle's house, and got a place with this girl.
The details of her pregnancy are not even worth mentioning as I am even now too disgusted to talk about the details and lies that I was witness to. Though I will say this, I treated this woman with the utmost respect and gave her every benefit of the doubt that you can give someone that is carrying your child.
Well 7 months later and we're ready to have this baby. Then weeks go by and she says that the doctors tell her it is okay that she is late and that we should expect it very soon. Mind you, she doesn't look very pregnant, just... large. And I am not going to be rude but this woman was never very small... and giving yourself 9 months to "fatten up", well I believe she did a very convincing job, though she never looked pregnant, just bigger. I would also like to say that I've seen first hand my own mother be pregnant 3 times while I was growing up and so I know what a pregnant women looks like. I suppose however, that since I was "the father" of this "baby" I was in much denial.
So, she is about 6 and a half weeks late at this point and she tells me she has a OBGYN appointment that day and that they would decide what and how we were going to proceed with everything after that day. So I go to work and let my manager know about everything and call a fellow supervisor to come in and relieve me if I need to leave suddenly and he agreed. Time passes and I am very worried, I call my now girlfriends cell phone continuosly and leave message after message asking her how her and the baby are. At about 1PM (her appointment was at 8AM) I recieve a call from our roomate that my girlfriend is at home and that I need to go there as soon as I can. I asked her why she isn't picking up her phone and why she didn't come to my work to talk to me about everything and my roomate would not give me a straight answer. So I get a ride home (as we only had 1 car and she was using it go to the OBGYN) and when I get there all I can hear is crying. I open our bedroom door and it is pitch black and on the bed my girlfriend is hysterically crying and screaming. She told me that we had lost the baby. When I asked how/why she said that the baby had been "born inside of her" 1 hour prior to her visit to the doctors. (Now, I would like to stop here for a moment and PLEASE if ANYONE has heard of this condition please let me know as it was completely new and horrific to hear, not to mention traumatising)
So after about two days I returned to work and she exclaimed that she would get all the details from the doctors and we would go through the rest of the processes. After another 2 weeks of self-mourning I finally asked this girl what was going on with any of the processes. She informed me that she didn't know and that no one was talking to her about it. I told her I would find out if she only gave me the information to do so. She would not, she said that was still too upset for any of it. I found this very preculiour and started to inquire myself. I went to the local hospital and inquired about the information I was given. The then informed me that they had not had a miscarriage in their hospital or in that town in over 3 years. When I told them that it was at her local OBGYN they gave me very funny looks and told me that I should perhaps talk to my girlfriend again about it. As I knew that I could not do this I went to her mother. I sat down and talked to her and she exclaimed that she would take care of everything and that I should only concentrate on helping her daughter feel better.
Now you all may call me crazy, stupid, or whatever but I heeded this advice and dropped everything and left it up to her family. For the next two years I stayed with this woman and tried to make our relationship work though I always had doubts about her from that point on. Consequently I always used a condom after that point as well. ;)
Now here it is two years after her "accident" and we have decided to move closer to my family (across state.) On my birthday her and a friend and I all make the treck to my mother's house to visit before moving down to the area to show her around. Well first off may I say the entire ride down there was made much unpleasant by my then girlfriend and the entire day was ruined by our constant bickering. When we returned home, I dropped our friend off and we went home. The next morning my girlfriend went to work and I had the day off. At about 10AM I recieved a text message from my friend asking "If I was okay." I told them yes, why? And they proceeded to tell me a very disturbing story. The night before while I was out talking to my sister, my girlfriend and our friend were talking about how much the two of us fight. And when our friend suggested that why don't the two of us just break up if we fight so much my girlfriend responded with "I would rather slit his throat in his sleep than break up with him."
After they told me this I could not believe anything that this woman ever said to me again. I immediatly called my mother and made plans to stay with her as soon as I could get away. Three nights went by and for those three nights I could not sleep, nor could I bring myself to. I slept with an opened knife in hand under my pillow those three nights and by the fourth day I could not stand it any longer. I told her that I was going to stay with my mother for the weekend and I was taking my stuff with me.
I do not need to go into the details about what transpired as I am sure that anyone reading this can judge from this woman's character as to what she had to say about my plans. But all in all I was able to leave with some of my stuff and i made 4, 300 mile round trips to bring all of my stuff to my mother's that weekend. On the 4th and final trip, when I arrived at her house I found that my Television, Computer, and Air Conditioner were all missing. I knew this had to be another ploy to keep me around and rather than give in I simply cut my losses and left without looking back.
After about two weeks after leaving I was going through some of my papers and found some of her papers that must have gotten mixed in with mine. Only these papers were old, dated right about the time that her and I talked about her being pregnant. A closer look at the papers revealed that they were Emergency Contraceptive Pill papers with the program "Plan B" circled and handwritten instructions written below to follow. Now I am no doctor and so I brought these papers to my very good friend who has had the procedure done herself. She then informed me that you do not get those papers or those instructions unless you were given the pills already. This was heartbreaking, though not very suprising now that I think of it.
And so this is where it brings us to the present day. I have been gone for over 3 months now and have recieved more enough harrasing emails to myself and my family to file a restraining order though I feel I should not do so until I find out if I have the options to bring criminal charges or suit against her. The last straw today was an email containing this message:
Just an FYI:
I have decided to completely dissolve you from my life and in doing so I have filed for a change-of-name papers for BLANK.
My family and BLANK agree it’s the best for both Blank and I.
His name will be changed from Blank Blank Blank --------> Blank Blank Blank~
I can send the finalized papers, once approved….
And once again THANK YOU for making MY life sooooo much ****ing happier!!!!!!
Now, I believe that she is only trying to play mind games. Now my question to all of you out there.... Can anyone give me ANY information as to what my rights are here and what can I do about this woman. She has made my life a living hell for the past 4 1/2 years and is now attacking my character and my family. I have also recieved threatening messages from her family as well, why I do not know. Please if anyone has any insight or information please post, email, anything as it would be very helpful. I am only 21 years old and have never delt with anything in the courts. I feel I am too naive and possibly I feel a little guilty for letting myself let this get to this point. Thank you for any help in advance!!
Harassment By Ex-Girlfriend Over A False Baby
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01-12-2007, 09:59 AMIsaacr21@hotmail.comHarassment By Ex-Girlfriend Over A False Baby
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01-12-2007, 10:22 AMlealea1005Re: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false baby
Yikes & Gadzooks! What a story!
How about starting by blocking her phone number from your cell & blocking or ignoring her e-mail. -
01-12-2007, 10:49 AMHappy TrailsRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false baby
Are you saying she is going to file a name change on a child that does not exist?
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01-12-2007, 11:20 AMIsaacr21@hotmail.comRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false baby
That seems to be the gist of what I got out of her email. That's why I believe she's trying to place more mind games with me. I just don't want this to go on anymore. I don't know how, considering everything I know that she could have really been pregnant but I have no resources to follow up on it. I do not even know how, if the baby was real, how you could change the name when it was never really "born" and is now "deceased".
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01-12-2007, 11:36 AMHappy TrailsRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false babyQuote:
Quoting Isaacr21@hotmail.com
Is this all the mother said? Didn't she find everything you were telling her a surprise? Bizarre?Quote:
Quoting Isaacr21@hotmail.com
Did the mother mean - help her feel better b/c of the alleged miscarriage or the mental problems your ex may have?
How old is your ex?
Was the child ever mentioned to you the two years after this supposedly happened? -
01-12-2007, 11:45 AMlealea1005Re: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false babyIF she was really pregnant, it would have been possible for the baby to have died within the womb BUT she would still have had to deliver the baby at the hospital where a death certificate would have been issued. If she would have disposed of the baby after giving birth, the police undoubtedly would have become involved, and she'd be in jail. It is not possible for a baby to be "born inside of her" without rupturing her uterus and probably bleeding to death, herself. Soooooooooo......she lied, she's still doing it. I suggest you ingore her and her childish, yet creatively psychopathic, games.Quote:
Quoting Isaacr21@hotmail.com
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01-12-2007, 11:51 AMHappy TrailsRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false babyI agree, cut off all contacts and do not have anything to do with her.Quote:
Quoting lealea1005
Hopefully she doesn't try and pull a Viola Trevino. -
01-12-2007, 11:56 AMlealea1005Re: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false babyQuote:
Quoting Happy Trails
Just read your link about Viola. :eek: I shake my head...guess it really does take all kinds! -
01-12-2007, 12:19 PMIsaacr21@hotmail.comRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false baby
At the time she was "pregnant" I was 17 and she was 18. Her mother was referring to both her mental and physical health. Her mother was also referring to the fact that she would "take care of" the hospital situations. Also another factor that I believe brought her to the "I'll slit his throat in his sleep" point was that I was continually asking her about getting a death certificate. That if it was too hard for her to deal with then I would, at the least, like to take control of the matter and have it for my records.
Now another question, if there really was a baby and a death certificate -- how do I obtain this? Do I have a right to? I am just so very confused and as much as I want her out of my life... I need to know if that baby was real or not. I am not looking to sue her or anything and I would just like the harrasment to stop but I am afraid if I go to my local police station with this story they are going to either laugh or ask for proof.
I am currently looking for a job and have no money for any type of legal counsel. I just do not want to go about this in the wrong way and be forced into filing harrasment / restraining orders / law suits more than once.
Thank you all by the way for all your words so far -- It a relief in it's own to have an outside opinion -
01-12-2007, 12:34 PMHappy TrailsRe: Ex girlfriend harrasing over false baby
I didn't see where you mentioned the name of your state....
In my state, record's such as a birth certificate or a death certficate are not always public record. Especially when the child was born out of wedlock.
Death certficates are not issued for a miscarriage.
So this leads to many other questions, if the child was delivered still born, then what happened to the remains?
Personally, I don't believe if she was pregnant that she carried it to full term and certainly NOT 6 1/2 weeks overdue.
I think this woman was avoiding the truth and didn't want to tell you....