At What Age Can You Move Out of Your Parents' Home Without Permission

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: North Carolina
I live with my dad and adopted mom. My adopted mother abuses me physically and mentally, my dad takes her side always. I called CPS and they have been investigating the situation, last time they came they said they would most likely close the case. How can I get away from these people if child protective services can't even do their job. I don't feel safe there and want out. How old do I have to be to leave without their permission to move in with my birth mother?

18.

that's what I was afraid of. The state does not look out for us teenagers under the age of 18. I see it all the time CPS will butt in homes where things are good and take children out, but when even the child tells them that they are not safe in the home, CPS says well we are going to close the case. North Carolina is a screwed up state

It needs to be pointed out that your biological mother has no more rights to you than I do - she is no longer your mother legally speaking.

CPS needs actual proof of abuse - they cannot simply take the word of a minor.

OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

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Quoting cladams6685

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OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

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Parents are, unfortunately, allowed to be craptacular parents and verbal abuse is very, very rarely addressed by the court.

So, either she agrees or you wait until you're 18.

I also want to emphasize something. If you even think about running to your biological mother - don't. SHE will get into severe trouble if she doesn't send you right back home.

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Quoting cladams6685

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OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

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What actions on your part have led to her calling you such names? I doubt that you were sitting in your bedroom one day doing math homework and she came in and started calling you a slut and a whore. While I am not condoning such language, it has been my experience as a father, teacher, and police officer, that there are actions by the child that often contributes or leads into these situations. Have you been staying out, leaving, or disobeying your mom for a while? Has your perceived intransigence or disobedience contributed to the problems you are having?

As was mentioned, running away to stay with your birth mom could get HER in trouble, and you dragged back home even if you do not want to go. There is a reason that the courts took you away from bio-mom ... she did not lose custody because she forgot to give you milk and cookies.

When you turn 18 - and not a minute before - you can walk out the back with the clothes on your back and whatever else mom allows you to take with her (if anything at all). If mom allows you to leave and live somewhere else, then, that's a different story. But, until that happens, you are subject to her rules until age 18.

I am a virgin. I have had a boyfriend that I would talk to on the phone, and she would take my phone and read messages, and just because I would say I loved the boy she would call me names. I do not call this woman my mother. She just adopted me a couple years ago after her and my dad talked to my biological mom. They told her they needed this woman to adopt for purposes of her taking me to the doctor and them being able to discuss issues with her so my dad wouldn't have to miss work. She agreed because they told both me and her they wouldn't keep us apart, and my adopted mom is so worried that my mom might still my dad back that she demands I don't have contact with my biological mom. And my dad won't listen to me, because making his wife happy is more important than I am to him. I have never had a friend over, never had a birthday party that included anyone besides my dads family. We can't even play outside. So you tell me if I am just being a kid about things and my dad and STEP mom are great parents and I should just deal

Honestly? Yeah, you are, and yes you should.

You need to understand that legally your biological mother is no longer your parent and that your parents - that's Dad and MOM-who-you-call-stepmom-kinda - have every right to stop you from having contact. In fact, bio can get into trouble if she is encouraging you to contact her against their wishes. She has no more right to contact you, than I.

Interestingly, your consent was required as part of the adoption proceeding. So ...

Your feelings in the matter don't really matter. If bio-mom gave up custody or LOST custody, then she is legally a non-entity in your current issues.

And, again, the apparent conflict did not just occur out of whole cloth as you were quietly doing homework and attending to your chores. SOMETHING brought this conflict to a head, and I doubt is was simply mom being in a mood and deciding one day that she would call you names.

Legally, yeah, you kinda gotta "just deal." If the abuse is physical, tell a teacher, the police, CPS, or whoever will listen. If she is just mean to you, there is not much that can be done about that (legally).

Your mother gave up custody so your step mom could take you to the do so your father wouldn't miss work. Well, that is one of the lamest excuses I've heard of for a parent to give up their rights. All your dad and.or mom had to do was write a letter giving your step mom permission to sign treatment and other necessary papers and act of their behalf. Have you seen your birth certificate with your step mom's name on it ?

I also agree with cdwjava about you not being totally blameless.

I told CPS that she weighing 300lbs sits on me. And asked them not to say anything unless they were going to get me out of the house. I don't know what they will do. Its not me being a whinny kid, she really is not good to Me. I have brothers and a sister I want to see too, that up to two years ago had a close relationship with and because of the step mom I don't. My dad and her fight all the time and he tells her he hates being home and only reason she is there is because he needs a built-in babysitter. I love my dad don't get me wrong but he doesn't ever want to be with his kids. He comes in as we go to bed at 8pm. And is gone before we wake up. I don't feel at almost 16 it is normal to have never had friends over or go to friends, have a birthday party, never play outside, or be in bed every night by 7pm until last year now its 8pm. I just don't feel any of this is normal behavior of a family

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And every time they argue, I have to go see my therapist for medicine. I asked her why every time her and Daddy have a fight am I being the one out on medicine?? I think sometimes she is not all mentally there or something. She screams at me if she asks me if I miss my bio mom, and reply yes. She is like a light switch sometimes. I just can't wait until I turn 18. So I never have to look back again.

Therapists do not have the ability to prescribe medicine. You are seeing a doctor. Have you been diagnosed with a medical or mental health condition that requires medication? That may be one of the reasons for these conflicts.

No i havent been diagnosed with anything. my step mom is on alot of different medications, she has alot of diagnosis

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Quoting cladams6685

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No i havent been diagnosed with anything. my step mom is on alot of different medications, she has alot of diagnosis

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Which is, frankly, irrelevant.

If I showed you just how many medications I have to take on a daily basis simply to live, your eyes would pop out.

NOTHING you've said changes anything at all about what you've been told.

Are you suggesting your dad should quit his job and all of you live in squalor on welfare?

"I don't feel at almost 16 it is normal to have never had friends over or go to friends, have a birthday party, never play outside, or be in bed every night by 7pm until last year now its 8pm. I just don't feel any of this is normal behavior of a family"

How do you know what normal family behavior is if you've Never had friends over and you have Never gone to friends houses ? Not every family can afford to throw birthday parties for their teenages or their children. Do you want to play of the swings and slide down the slide if you go outside to play ? You go outside when you go to and from school and at school, don't you ? It is extremely important that teenagers get plenty of rest. It's a shame that other teenagers don't get the proper amount if rest like you do.