Custodial Father Left the Child With a Grandparent Without Telling the Mother

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas.

I live a few hours away from my son currently, but have just found out from a source that my ex-husband, who was just married about 2 months ago to a woman he has been living with for quiet some time and has an infant with, moved out abruptly to live with his mistress, whom is also still married and has 2 kids of her own. My son, come to find out, is now living with his grandmother who lives 2 hours away from my ex. They have pulled him out of school and enrolled him in his grandmother's school district for now, but his plan is probably to move him in with him and his mistress eventually, which will again mean changing schools(He is in elementary school).

I have not been notified of any of these changes other than a phone call a month after he moved out from an anonymous source. He took this woman and her kids up to visit my son and his grandparents only a week after moving out of his wife's house. Do I just need to file for contempt of court and hopefully get custody of my son? Do I have any legal rights to just take him home with me if he is living with his grandparents? I'm very concerned about my son's physiological well-being.

My husband and I have other children and a very stable household that I know he would be much happier and better off in. Any suggestions on a course of action is greatly appreciated!

Have you actually spoken to Dad? What's your actual current custody agreement?

Are there any issues of unfitness (you)?

Are you in the same state?

Yes I have spoken to him, and he is being untruthful ... gave me a wrong address and claims him and our son are both living with his mother; This would mean he is commuting 4 hours a day if that were the case. We both live in Texas and have joint custody with him being the primary residence- I was driving 16 hours round trip to pick my son up on my weekends and drop him off at his old house. I have always had to fight with him whenever it came to getting my son on my weekends. There are no issues of me being an unfit parent; the only reason he has primary custody now is because I had to relocate for a job offer, and in fear of being in contempt I came to an agreement with him for our son to live with him, not having financial means for an attorney at that time. His wife would even attest that I am a good mother; I have full custody of my other son and 2 step children as well. My ex on the other hand has had a history of alcoholism and had gotten a DWI a few years back that I just found out about. He asked his wife and baby to move in with his "mistress" and her kids and live as a "community," so mental instability might not be far fetched either.

Okay, so there's not much proof of that he's not actually living with Dad?

(for what it's worth, "intentional communities" can actually be very, very positive for all involved and it by no means equates to mental instability. You might want to hush up about that)

Yes I do have proof that he's not living with dad because I have photographs of his truck parked at his new house for several nights in a row, and he's admitted to my son living with his grand mother and also to his wife about going to visit him on the weekends, which I already mentioned. Since they have rented a house together, I am sure his name would be on some type of leasing agreement as well. I'm not sure where you live, but in Texas "intentional communities" is frowned upon unless you live in a liberal city like Austin perhaps, and knowing my ex husband's sexual behaviors in the past, I don't think he has quiet the same intentions in mind.

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Yes I do have proof that he's not living with dad because I have photographs of his truck parked at his new house for several nights in a row, and he's admitted to my son living with his grand mother and also to his wife about going to visit him on the weekends, which I already mentioned. Since they have rented a house together, I am sure his name would be on some type of leasing agreement as well. I'm not sure where you live, but in Texas "intentional communities" is frowned upon unless you live in a liberal city like Austin perhaps, and knowing my ex husband's sexual behaviors in the past, I don't think he has quiet the same intentions in mind.

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How did you get the photographs of his truck parked at his "new house" for several nights in a row? And again, you were told not to go on about intentional communities -- that is NOT a sign of mental instability. Good grief. No more than being a prude is a sign of a mental instability.

You say:

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Quoting Equestrian86

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I have not been notified of any of these changes....

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Then you say:

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Yes I have spoken to him, and he is being untruthful ... gave me a wrong address and claims him and our son are both living with his mother; This would mean he is commuting 4 hours a day if that were the case.

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In other words, you were informed of the changes. And you have been told that, contrary to your belief, father and child are living together at grandma's house.

And you also say,

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Quoting Equestrian86

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...he's admitted to my son living with his grand mother...

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So again, he's told you were the child lives -- there's no concealment of that fact from you.

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Yes I do have proof that he's not living with dad because I have photographs of his truck parked at his new house for several nights in a row...

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Having a photograph of somebody's truck in a driveway means that... the truck was in a driveway and somebody took a picture. It means nothing more. Having three pictures of a truck in a driveway means that somebody took three pictures. That, of itself, sheds no light on when the pictures were taken, who was driving the truck, or who is inside the house or for what purpose. Further, there is absolutely no reason why somebody cannot live in one house and occasionally spend an overnight at another house.

Are you driving... is it 12 hours, 16 hours, 20 hours... several nights in a row to take these pictures yourself, or is this yet another gift from the mysterious stranger?

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Quoting Equestrian86

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He asked his wife and baby to move in with his "mistress" and her kids and live as a "community," so mental instability might not be far fetched either.

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Your mysterious, anonymous stranger sure is feeding you some interesting rumors.

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Since they have rented a house together, I am sure his name would be on some type of leasing agreement as well. I'm not sure where you live, but in Texas "intentional communities" is frowned upon....

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Except you are speaking about a plan for which you appear to have no actual evidence, and something that never actually happened.

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Do I just need to file for contempt of court.....

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You have not yet indicated that he has violated a court order.

If you believe you have the basis to file a motion to modify custody, I suggest teaming up with a lawyer. If your lawyer concurs, you can proceed with your motion.

What do the school records indicate as to who resides where ? a student is entitled to be in school where parent resides ...not where grandmother or dads mistress resides ....

What does divorce order say as to relocations ...and if silent, is there a TX rule about more,than 100 more miles,on point?

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Quoting Equestrian86

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Yes I do have proof that he's not living with dad because I have photographs of his truck parked at his new house for several nights in a row, and he's admitted to my son living with his grand mother and also to his wife about going to visit him on the weekends, which I already mentioned. Since they have rented a house together, I am sure his name would be on some type of leasing agreement as well. I'm not sure where you live, but in Texas "intentional communities" is frowned upon unless you live in a liberal city like Austin perhaps, and knowing my ex husband's sexual behaviors in the past, I don't think he has quiet the same intentions in mind.

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Have you heard of a teeny little thing called The Constitution? Perhaps its friend, The Bill Of Rights?

You're slinging mud in the hope that something will stick. Do not forget that doing so leaves your own hands dirty.

Go check the school registration records of your own child...falsification of such records is a crime in TX, Texas penal code Ch 37 Sec 37.10 and the severity of the offense goes up if it's falsification for public school purposes. I doubt that section is applied very often...but some schools do take residency and falsification seriously , sadly too few do......

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Quoting HRinDEVON

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Go check the school registration records of your own child...falsification of such records is a crime in TX, Texas penal code Ch 37 Sec 37.10 and the severity of the offense goes up if it's falsification for public school purposes. I doubt that section is applied very often...but some schools do take residency and falsification seriously , sadly too few do......

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Learn to read, please.

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Quoting HRinDEVON

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Go check the school registration records of your own child...falsification of such records is a crime in TX, Texas penal code Ch 37 Sec 37.10 and the severity of the offense goes up if it's falsification for public school purposes. I doubt that section is applied very often...but some schools do take residency and falsification seriously , sadly too few do......

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Thank you for something. Apparently I didn't make it clear that I have asked him for the school district information and the address of his mother's house and he has yet to provide me with the info. I will be on the phone Monday calling around her area since I have no other option. My court documents do state that he is supposed to give me written notice of intent to move. I only found out bc his wife called to let me know and I questioned him. Considering she just filed for divorce as well, he has already made it clear that he is living with this other woman and only mentioned his son being with grandma. Of course he's going to lie to me, not knowing we talk.

My car is parked in front of my ex's house several times a week. That proves nothing.

His wife saying something does not mean anything. It also isn't evidence. Do not let the wife drag you into their problems. It will not benefit the child.

The school may or may not allow you to look at the childs registeration info. They may or may not give you the childs current address. This is a safety precaution.

A parent has rather broad access to her own childs educational records both under FERPA and Texas law .....the registration records might be available to inspect during regular school hours by mere request and proof of your being parent ...check with the school ?

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Quoting Equestrian86

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[He] claims him and our son are both living with his mother

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Quoting Equestrian86

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[H]e has already made it clear that he is living with this other woman and only mentioned his son being with grandma.

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You're changing your story.

Generally speaking one school forwards student records to the next school...so if you know where the prior school was when child lived with dad and new wife, that local school may know where the child went for registration purposes. I'm not questioning that Dad could enroll child where Dad is now living ..but that's not what OP is posting .

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BTW..what if anything does your order say about relocation and or notice of same ....?

He can live like a sheikh with 72 virgins waiting on him hand and foot, and it won't matter as long as he's not violating the custody arrangement set up with you.

If you really need to know his living arrangements, hire a private investigator. That'll set you back a few C-notes.

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Quoting geek

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He can live like a sheikh with 72 virgins waiting on him hand and foot, and it won't matter as long as he's not violating the custody arrangement set up with you.

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Just. Died. Laughing. You'll be giving her conniptions!

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If you really need to know his living arrangements, hire a private investigator. That'll set you back a few C-notes.

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See, this is how it looks to me.

Mom doesn't like Dad's lifestyle - fair enough. But Mom is hoping and praying that the court will hate his lifestyle, too, even though she's not realizing what she's actually doing. Now, the ONLY thing I think Mom has is that Dad arbitrarily changed schools. That's a problem and it needs to be addressed.

And this is for our Devon. Do you really think that Dad wouldn't have used the most appropriate address to enroll the child at school? Never mind, I answered my own question.

Where I live children have to go to school in the district they live in. There have been cases where the parents allow the child to live with another relative so they could go to a good school. But, I don't think that is the case here.