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How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment

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  • 09-28-2015, 01:50 PM
    Jeannie Jimenez
    How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of New York. I am giving birth in 2 weeks and my child's father wants nothing to do with my child or I. I am uncertain of where he is but I'm afraid one day he will try to come back and take my child. What do I need to file to ensure I have legal rights to sole custody of my child. Also when I go to Suffolk County family court what will I need to bring and what rights does my child and myself have?
  • 09-28-2015, 02:10 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Sole Custody After Abandonment
    If you're unwed, you will be the child's only legal parent, hence the only parent with the right to legal and physical custody.

    If Dad does want to be part of the child's life, the court will allow him to do so barring a finding of unfit.
  • 09-28-2015, 03:16 PM
    Jeannie Jimenez
    Re: Sole Custody After Abandonment
    So should I file for custody in case he decides he wants to be involved? Also what does the court consider when determining if the father is unfit (which I believe he is)?
  • 09-28-2015, 03:31 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Sole Custody After Abandonment
    Proving a parent unfit is incredibly difficult; the standard of acceptable parenting is very, very low.

    What is it you hope to gain though? What's your end goal?
  • 09-28-2015, 03:40 PM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    The child hasn't even been born, so claiming "abandonment" is putting the cart way ahead of the horse.

    Obviously, if you petition for custody and dad tells the court, "I want nothing to do with my child", you'll get custody.
  • 09-28-2015, 05:31 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    Just so you know if you go on public assistance the state will go after him.for child support. Sometimes when that happens the absent parent decides to get involved to have visitation
  • 09-30-2015, 03:29 PM
    Jeannie Jimenez
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    Well the father says he wants nothing to do with my son. I want to make sure if he changes his mind that he can't just come and take my son. The father was a Marine who abandoned the military in the middle of a legal case against him. From what I know he was going to be charged with assault, adultery, and using drugs. In addition now he will be charged with fleeing the military. He apparently now is using drugs as well as being around people who use drugs such as heroin. I am worried for my child's safety if his father does try to reenter his life. I was told all of this after I found out I was pregnan . He says if I ever take him to court he will get caught by military. Also I currently get WIC and SNAP. Is this the kind of assistance that will make the courts sell child support. I currently do not know where my ex lives so I'm not sure if he will ever show up again. I was just looking for some answers so I know what I need to do to protect my rights and my son
  • 09-30-2015, 03:36 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    Quote:

    Quoting Jeannie Jimenez
    View Post
    Well the father says he wants nothing to do with my son. I want to make sure if he changes his mind that he can't just come and take my son. The father was a Marine who abandoned the military in the middle of a legal case against him. From what I know he was going to be charged with assault, adultery, and using drugs. In addition now he will be charged with fleeing the military. He apparently now is using drugs as well as being around people who use drugs such as heroin. I am worried for my child's safety if his father does try to reenter his life. I was told all of this after I found out I was pregnan . He says if I ever take him to court he will get caught by military. Also I currently get WIC and SNAP. Is this the kind of assistance that will make the courts sell child support. I currently do not know where my ex lives so I'm not sure if he will ever show up again. I was just looking for some answers so I know what I need to do to protect my rights and my son

    If he wants visitation, he's going to get at least some sort of visitation - even if he pops up 5 years from now.

    Full or sole custody doesn't take away that possibility.
  • 09-30-2015, 03:49 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    The state can't do anything unless you agree. There are is a statement you sign if.you apply for cash assistance ie TANF, welfare. Food stamps and WIC are different. When you apply for cash assistance they will ask you questions about the absent parent and they will require at least his name if not contact info and you must supply it in order to receive the cash assistance. You wont know if they find him or if he is paying support to the state unless your state gives you a portion of the child support. Support Enforcement will not give you contact info on him nor will they give him contact info on you and the child. But that doesn't mean he can't find you or you him if you really really try.

    If you arent married, his name wont be on the birth certificate. He will have to go to court to get visitation. But if the military is looking for him and he goes to court that will be a perfect way to find him so it is doubtful he will go to court, IF what you were told is true. If the military is looking for him they will find him it is only a matter of when.
  • 09-30-2015, 05:02 PM
    Jeannie Jimenez
    Re: How to Get Sole Custody After Abandonment
    So do I even need to file for custody? Or since I will be the only parent on the birth certificate is that enough to give me legal custody of my son?
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