How to Stop a Stepparent from Communicating on Behalf of My Ex-

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Mississippi.

I am the custodial parent and legal guardian. Ex and I have joint legal. Custody/visitation is 80/20. I am in the process of getting my documents together to file contempt charges against ex (month behind in CS/will not follow CO/ etc.), while printing out emails on the computer (normally only see them on iPhone), I noticed his name header was different in the emails (complete change from two years ago).

After researching the IP addresses, I discovered that 90% of all correspondence were between the wife (literally pretending to be ex) and myself. Our CO states we have to keep an open line of communication, which I do by email. For the past two years, I thought all the attacks, slander, threats to withhold CS, name-calling were him. In one day, she has sent me 42 emails pretending to be him saying some of the meanest things; I never attack back, just respond with facts and requests for the emails to cease. Further digging, I have discovered that she has taken my kids to the doctor twice during his weekend visitation and signed her name as the parent/legal guardian. I have had to go to these doctor offices and prove that I am the bio-mom and legal guardian to get printouts of the forms she signed. She has sent me affidavits before, demanding I sign them or no CS, pretending to be his attorney (she works for a law firm), I have not signed them.

I have told her to not ever contact me two years ago, I honestly thought she had backed off, but instead of backing off, she took over all correspondences and I have been unknowingly making decisions regarding our children's medical, visitation scheduling, and school activities with her, not the father. I can prove who is actually emailing me through his email account. Can this be brought in front of the judge with all the contempts? What can be done to make this stop? She has admitted to stalking and cyber stalking, pretending to be him, as well. I let him know that I now know and to please tell her to stop contacting me, his response was name calling and told me to take it up with my make-believe attorney. I have printed out over 200 emails with IP addresses from her, along with copies of all the documents she has signed as the parent/legal guardian; not forging his name, but her name.

How do you know that it wasn't Dad writing those emails?

If you start filing OSCs if he's a month behind in child support you're going to piss off the judge very, very quickly.

Proceed at your own risk.

I'm guessing that if your ex doesn't care then there really isn't much you can do. What kinda of medical documents did she said for? Did any harm come from them and if those same forms had been signed by you or dad, would they have been acceptable? My honest opinion is that this situation is a waste for Family Court. If you can prove that Step Mom is falsifying legal documents then that's a criminal matter. As far as the IP address is concerned, he could easily say it was infact him and he was using it when emailing you. Sounds like she's a real pill but I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can do.

We are not going back to court just for CS contempt. It is a wide range of items from IRS fraud to taking the kids out of state and will not tell me where to completely ignoring the court order. She filled out medical forms on the kids and just had her name listed as the parent/legal guardian. The father would have had to jump through as many hoops as I had too to get copies of the documents. It's not just emailing me pretending to be him. She put herself down as the mother and claimed they lived at her address. Neither bio parent was on the forms she filled out.

IRS fraud is federal and the Family Court has no jurisdiction

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Quoting Bio-mom

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We are not going back to court just for CS contempt. It is a wide range of items from IRS fraud to taking the kids out of state and will not tell me where to completely ignoring the court order. She filled out medical forms on the kids and just had her name listed as the parent/legal guardian. The father would have had to jump through as many hoops as I had too to get copies of the documents. It's not just emailing me pretending to be him. She put herself down as the mother and claimed they lived at her address. Neither bio parent was on the forms she filled out.

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Alrighty then.

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Quoting Bio-mom

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It is a wide range of items from IRS fraud...

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What, exactly, is your basis for believing the ex or his wife are committing tax fraud? If you have any real solid evidence of that then report that to the IRS here: reporting tax fraud. The state family court system cannot do a thing about tax fraud.

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Quoting Taxing Matters

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What, exactly, is your basis for believing the ex or his wife are committing tax fraud? If you have any real solid evidence of that then report that to the IRS here: reporting tax fraud. The state family court system cannot do a thing about tax fraud.

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OP are you talking about dad and his wife claiming the children when they do not have the right to do so? Or are you talking about something else.

Father claimed all the kids and interest on home, when the court order stated he was to claim one child and I was to claim the other and interest on home. Home expenses are to be halved as long as he keeps his name and debt attached to the house. He does not pay his half or reimburse me. Child support is to be paid on a certain date each month. It is withheld or not paid.

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Quoting Bio-mom

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Father claimed all the kids and interest on home, when the court order stated he was to claim one child and I was to claim the other and interest on home. Home expenses are to be halved as long as he keeps his name and debt attached to the house. He does not pay his half or reimburse me. Child support is to be paid on a certain date each month. It is withheld or not paid.

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Alrighty then.

You're not going to have a fun time in court; you don't seem to understand what actually matters and what doesn't. You come across as doing nothing more than flinging mud to see how much will stick. That never ends well.

Out of curiosity, what type of proof do you have about the taxes? Why didn't you file with the other child like the court order said to do?

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Quoting Bio-mom

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Father claimed all the kids and interest on home, when the court order stated he was to claim one child and I was to claim the other and interest on home.

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Ok, as to claiming the dependent exemption for the children, the kids live with you more than half the year, right? If that’s right, then that makes you the custodial parent (CP) for federal tax purposes and your ex the noncustodial parent (NCP). In that case, under the federal tax rules, you as the CP are the one entitled to claim the dependent exemption for the kids unless you sign a waiver allowing the ex to claim one or both kids. Form 8332 may be used for the waiver. The NCP must attach that waiver to his return. See IRS Publication 501 which explains how this works in detail. Given your court order, then, you’d be obligated to give him the waiver for the one kid and you’d claim the other one yourself.

You don’t need to worry about what he claimed. You put on your return what you are entitled to claim and when the IRS matches up his return with yours the IRS will sort out then which parent is entitled to the exemption. If you file your return electronically and find the return is rejected because he claimed the kid already then all you have to do is file the return by paper instead and the IRS will process it and give you the exemption. In short, if you just file the return the way you should the IRS will catch this issue without you having to do anything more and, importantly, you get the benefit of the exemptions to which you are entitled. No need to go to court over that. As the CP, you are in control of the exemptions here.

The court cannot allocate the interest on the home. Under the federal tax law, the home mortgage interest deduction goes the person who actually paid the interest. A court cannot override the federal tax law on that. Again, you may deduct on your return the actual mortgage interest and real estate taxes that you paid to get the deduction you are entitled to claim. But if you didn’t actually pay those expenses you don’t get to deduct them except in one situation: if your divorce decree requires that he pay the mortgage payment on the home and he makes those payments. In that case, his payment of your share of the mortgage would be taxable alimony to you, but then you could deduct the portion of mortgage interest that was paid on your share of the home. You won’t get to deduct the portion of interest on his share of the home in any case.

In any event, I don’t see any actual tax fraud going on here by your ex. At least not something significant enough that the IRS would criminally prosecute him for it. But once the IRS catches up with the excess deductions he took, he’ll owe the extra tax, interest, and perhaps a penalty.

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Quoting Bio-mom

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Father claimed all the kids and interest on home, when the court order stated he was to claim one child and I was to claim the other and interest on home. Home expenses are to be halved as long as he keeps his name and debt attached to the house. He does not pay his half or reimburse me. Child support is to be paid on a certain date each month. It is withheld or not paid.

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As far as taxes are concerned, you can go ahead and claim the child that you are supposed to claim, and claim the interest on your home, but you will have to file your returns the old fashioned way, via paper. You will receive your refund and the IRS will later investigate the duplicate claim. Since dad will not be able to prove that the children primarily live with him, then he will end up having to pay back any excess refund. After that happens to him a couple of times, he will likely stop claiming things that he is not supposed to claim.

You can amend any returns for 2012, 2013 and 2014 to claim the child that you should have claimed and the mortgage interest that you should have claimed.

I did claim the children (1 from a previous M and 1 that I was allowed to claim from this M) He did his taxes before I did mine and I spent a substantial amount with an attorney fighting the IRS. IRS said I did not prove that the kids lived with me through-out the tax year (which they have always lived with me), and because the mortgage is in both names he was able to claim it on his taxes. He also used my address for years. He won. I lost. I ended up paying $16, 000.00 in interest, taxes, attorney fees, and penalties. Ex called it my "bad karma".