Custodial Parent is Withholding the Child from Visitation, Claiming Neglect

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Virginia

My son has received a few issues over the past...4 months maybe?

- Sun burn (it was a mistake that we learned from)
- Stick in leg from hiking (we looked it over, and were with a registered nurse at the time, nothing appeared out of the norm. The dad didn't see a stick in his leg until three days later when it was already infected.)
- Pinky toe stub...(yes, I know, silly, but the dad freaked out over it.) The toe was slightly swollen and red.

So yeah...we FINALLY got a custody order in and signed by the judge, but now this. The custody order is I get him every other weekend, but now because of his stubbed pinky toe, the dad is saying he's not going to bring him to me because of child neglect.

What do I do?

When he withholds your son, you take him back to court for contempt.

He has the right to involve child services, too.

But if it was up to him, he would constantly be involving child services, and I would never get to see my son. If I were to call the police/courthouse the day I am supposed to be getting him, and he says he's not coming, would they be able to get the father to let me see him...since we do have a custody order?

He has no real proof of "child neglect" besides a few of these small issues listed above, and what kid doesn't get hurt? I am not going to keep him confined to a chair all day long.

Quote:

---

Quoting Amy Bosnoian

---

But if it was up to him, he would constantly be involving child services, and I would never get to see my son. If I were to call the police/courthouse the day I am supposed to be getting him, and he says he's not coming, would they be able to get the father to let me see him...since we do have a custody order?

He has no real proof of "child neglect" besides a few of these small issues listed above, and what kid doesn't get hurt? I am not going to keep him confined to a chair all day long.

---

The police won't force the issue, no - unless your court order actually directs the police to intervene (most don't).

Believe me, both CPS and the court will get tired of his games very quickly. Remember, you don't have to prove you didn't do something - THEY have to prove that you did.

Quote:

---

Quoting Dogmatique

---

The police won't force the issue, no - unless your court order actually directs the police to intervene (most don't).

Believe me, both CPS and the court will get tired of his games very quickly. Remember, you don't have to prove you didn't do something - THEY have to prove that you did.

---

Ay yi yi, so frustrating. So what should I do? Just wait this out again...without seeing my son? I did that for like a month before the custody order went through. Could the court honestly rule those minor issues as child neglect?

I don't know what to do. I am so sick of the threats, and I thought *finally* that a custody order went through, they would go away...but nope...

If you don't insist on seeing your son like the orders say, he more than likely won't let you on his own.

Did he take the child to a Dr ? If he said he did, do you have any proof? Even if he did, the things you mentioned are typically things that happen with children. Often you don't realize if something requires medical attention until several days after. That is Not the same as neglect.

Quote:

---

Quoting Mercy&Grace

---

If you don't insist on seeing your son like the orders say, he more than likely won't let you on his own.

Did he take the child to a Dr ? If he said he did, do you have any proof? Even if he did, the things you mentioned are typically things that happen with children. Often you don't realize if something requires medical attention until several days after. That is Not the same as neglect.

---

I completely agree.

Of course, I expect that Dad has already filed to immediately suspend all visitation - right?

No? He hasn't, has he?

He's not going to, because he knows he's got nothing. Keep going to pick up your son, and when he refuses you can call the non-emergency line (police), and ask them to take a report. Then off to court you go.

Now. If you DO get a visit from CPS, come back and let us know please.

Quote:

---

Quoting Dogmatique

---

I completely agree.

Of course, I expect that Dad has already filed to immediately suspend all visitation - right?

No? He hasn't, has he?

He's not going to, because he knows he's got nothing. Keep going to pick up your son, and when he refuses you can call the non-emergency line (police), and ask them to take a report. Then off to court you go.

Now. If you DO get a visit from CPS, come back and let us know please.

---

He took the child to the ER for the sunburn, the stick in leg & almost the stubbed pinky toe. The ER wasn't necessary for any of them, but that's just how he is.

He hasn't filed for suspended visitation that I know of, he just said that he talked to the court & has got his options. He brings him to me on Fridays at 6pm, so if he doesn't bring him to me by 7 or so, I suppose I will call the police. Should I call the court tomorrow too and let them know of what's happening?

But okay, I will let you guys know if I get a visit from the CPS.

Thanks for your guys help, you have been very helpful & nice!

It's actually good that he took the child to the ER because every single person who attended to your son is a mandated reporter and, if they suspected abuse, they are legally obligated to call child services themselves. That they didn't, is sending a clear message.

How far do you live from Dad? Does your order specify he's responsible for drop-off at your home?

Why wouldn't YOU go get your child if you really wanted to see him? And have a civil standby accompany you?

Quote:

---

Quoting Amy Bosnoian

---

He took the child to the ER for the sunburn, the stick in leg & almost the stubbed pinky toe. The ER wasn't necessary for any of them, but that's just how he is.

He hasn't filed for suspended visitation that I know of, he just said that he talked to the court & has got his options. He brings him to me on Fridays at 6pm, so if he doesn't bring him to me by 7 or so, I suppose I will call the police. Should I call the court tomorrow too and let them know of what's happening?

But okay, I will let you guys know if I get a visit from the CPS.

Thanks for your guys help, you have been very helpful & nice!

---

No, if he does not show up you go to dad's house to pick up the child. If dad still does not cooperate THEN you call the police and see if they will help you or at least write up a report. Make sure that you have a copy of your custody orders on you.

Quote:

---

Quoting Ohiogal

---

Why wouldn't YOU go get your child if you really wanted to see him? And have a civil standby accompany you?

---

Because most parents on message boards don't know that's even an option?

C'mon, OG.

True. Common sense is not very common.