Seeking Relocation With a Pending Motion to Modify Custody

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Quoting catwoman1313

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Am I correct in understanding that in this case the "status quo" is the current arrangement - regardless of the actual agreement at the time of divorce? Is two years on the new plan enough time to consider it "status quo"?

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It doesn't matter what your agreement was; what's considered is the current situation and how long it's been happening. 2 years is more than ample time. 6 months - year is usually ample time.

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And, if the judge grants a revision to reflect this status quo, is it possible I will be forced to keep the kids in their current schools? I mean, it would be nearly impossible to move 40 miles away if they have to be at their father's house twice a week.

Thanks

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That's the point. You're likely going to be given a choice - either relocate and give Dad full custody, or stay put if you can't manage transporting them to and from Dad's. Sorry Mom, but you've said nothing about why this move would benefit them more than having less time with their father would be detrimental to them. It's so far been about you, not them. THEIR family is Dad, and unless he folds eventually you're going to have to make a choice.

Thanks Dogmatique. I appreciate the feedback.
My reasons for moving:
Moving to the new city will allow me to purchase a home (cheaper real estate). Owning a home will establish a permanent residence for our family, so we are no longer living in a tiny rental. The kids will have their own bedrooms, a big yard and more space. They will also be closer to their grandparents and other extended family (uncles, cousins, etc.). Living in the new city will be more affordable overall, freeing up more money for family activities.
It is a favorable move for my husband and I .... And I completely understand the issue about it needing to be a good more for the CHILDREN more than anything. My personal belief is that reasons I state above do constitute a "good reason" but I don't know that an objective third-party would agree with that.

Thanks

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Quoting catwoman1313

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Thanks Dogmatique. I appreciate the feedback.

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I appreciate your appreciativeness (!). So please take this with the same grace, k?

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My reasons for moving:
Moving to the new city will allow me to purchase a home (cheaper real estate). Owning a home will establish a permanent residence for our family, so we are no longer living in a tiny rental.

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Nope, it won't. If you're laid off or something catastrophic happens you'll still be homeless - just as you would be if you rented. However, it could also be said that Dad is also providing a permanent home.

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The kids will have their own bedrooms, a big yard and more space.

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Not important. They're doing fine with the current arrangement, and the courts don't change custody because one parent has a bigger house with more bedrooms, or more money.

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They will also be closer to their grandparents and other extended family (uncles, cousins, etc.).

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But further away from Dad - and he is, by far, more important than the others combined.

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Living in the new city will be more affordable overall, freeing up more money for family activities.

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Tighten your wallet and you can still have family activities - and that's only those that actually cost anything. Nature field trips, historical buildings... the list of free/almost free stuff is literally endless.

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It is a favorable move for my husband and I .... And I completely understand the issue about it needing to be a good more for the CHILDREN more than anything. My personal belief is that reasons I state above do constitute a "good reason" but I don't know that an objective third-party would agree with that.

Thanks

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Honestly? I would be astonished if the court actually gave you permission to relocate the kids over Dad's objections. You have, realistically, nothing. In my opinion.

If Dad were absent, or only marginally involved, my response would probably be a complete 180. But from the facts you've shared, I don't rate your chances of success highly at all.

So, you do have options. Again, why can't Dad have custody? You're basically asking for him to become the EOW parent - if it's unacceptable to you, why is it not unacceptable for him?

See where I'm coming from?

Yes, I see where you are coming from. It sounds to me like I don't have a case.

There is no good reason why the father cannot have custody. He's a good dad and takes great care of them.... I just want to keep my kids living closer to me, that's all.

Time to think hard about whether the move is a good idea. Thanks again for all your help.

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Quoting catwoman1313

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Yes, I see where you are coming from. It sounds to me like I don't have a case.

There is no good reason why the father cannot have custody. He's a good dad and takes great care of them.... I just want to keep my kids living closer to me, that's all.

Time to think hard about whether the move is a good idea. Thanks again for all your help.

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You're welcome, catwoman. I appreciate you not going on a tirade :)

(It's as if you were Dad writing from the "other side", so to speak ;) )