Oldest Child Wants to Stay with the Non-Custodial Parent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: San Antonio, Texas

My oldest daughter went with her father which was supposed to be only for month. Now, does not want to return home since she does not get to do what she please's. She was on punishment when she left with her father & assumes if she stays with her father she'll be able to continue to do what she wants? I've had all my children since birth & now the father is not complying & say's he wants to keep her. What can I do? Even if I force her to come home she will continue to run away to her father.
:wallbang:

Smile very politely, and while you're smiling, remind Dad that he'll be putting your daughter back on the plane, train or in the car when the court order says he will.

Your daughter is the child. You and Dad are the parents. She doesn't make the decisions.

Now. With all that being said, how old is she? And what does Dad do when she threatens to turn up on his doorstep?

The parties follow the order as written ...and Dad risks being held in contempt if he fails to follow the order...kids do NOT get to make up own rules!

However TX is an odd state in that it allows for older kids to have a vote in which parent they prefer...so it's possible the steps could be taken to change things....but that is NOT in place yet!

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Quoting HRinDEVON

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The parties follow the order as written ...and Dad risks being held in contempt if he fails to follow the order...kids do NOT get to make up own rules!

However TX is an odd state in that it allows for older kids to have a vote in which parent they prefer...so it's possible the steps could be taken to change things....but that is NOT in place yet!

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Every state has language allowing older children to have their preference considered during an initial custody determination (which this would not be, incidentally). The difference with Texas is that the child's preference used to be controlling but that's no longer the case either.

And since we're discussing a potential modification, it's likely a moot point since the child's preference does not constitute a change in circumstance in and of itself.

(Unless things in Texas have changed yet again in the last few years which is not impossible)

Even if the child stays with Dad, it won't be long before they will test Dads limits and be punished by Dad. Then the child will want to come back, until she needs punishment by you. Hopefully Dad will talk to the child since he is the one that will be in.contempt of court.

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Quoting andrea0826.am@gmail.com

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My oldest daughter....

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Oldest, as in thirteen-years-old? Oldest, as in seventeen? The closer your daughter gets to eighteen, the more you need to consider if it's a fight worth having.

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Quoting andrea0826.am

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Even if I force her to come home she will continue to run away to her father.

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Unless and until dad gets the custody order modified, he's expected to follow the order. That means not helping his daughter when she runs away.

Of course he can always request that the court allow her to live with him. Although I doubt he would do that. And even.less doubtfully the court would agree.

She is turning 15 this month. When she calls, father picks her up doesn't tell me he has her & then I find out later he does. Says to me, "she mads, I'll keep her for a little while"?

Now, with that being said. She's been with him for a month with this recent time her going over there. I'm almost to the point were I feel I should let him take on the responsibility of caring for her. He & his girl friend don't work, are living in a hotel right now and claims he can provide a "better" life for her?
So, I'm a little unsure if my "tough love" tactic will blow up in my face later or if I should force my daughter home & go to court?

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Quoting andrea0826.am@gmail.com

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She is turning 15 this month. When she calls, father picks her up doesn't tell me he has her & then I find out later he does. Says to me, "she mads, I'll keep her for a little while"?

Now, with that being said. She's been with him for a month with this recent time her going over there. I'm almost to the point were I feel I should let him take on the responsibility of caring for her. He & his girl friend don't work, are living in a hotel right now and claims he can provide a "better" life for her?
So, I'm a little unsure if my "tough love" tactic will blow up in my face later or if I should force my daughter home & go to court?

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That's a parenting decision, Mom.

She's 14. You start letting her think she gets to make grownup decisions now, and you're doing her a grave disservice in my opinion. If it were me, I'd be smiling sweetly, and telling her to get in the car. Any refusal on her part would be met by punishment once we got home. And as for Dad - well, you're not doing him any favors either in all honesty. Say she wants to come back home to Mom's next year - are you going to back him up, or give in to her again?

Quote:

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Quoting andrea0826.am@gmail.com

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She is turning 15 this month. When she calls, father picks her up doesn't tell me he has her & then I find out later he does. Says to me, "she mads, I'll keep her for a little while"?

Now, with that being said. She's been with him for a month with this recent time her going over there. I'm almost to the point were I feel I should let him take on the responsibility of caring for her. He & his girl friend don't work, are living in a hotel right now and claims he can provide a "better" life for her?
So, I'm a little unsure if my "tough love" tactic will blow up in my face later or if I should force my daughter home & go to court?

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You need to force your daughter to come home.