Stepparent Took Children Out of State Without Permission and Without My Ex
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri
My ex notified me at 6:50am by text that his wife was taking our daughters to south dakota and I could get in touch with her if I needed to talk to our daughters. He was not attending this trip.
In our agreement, it states that he is to give me the itinerary, phone numbers, and addresses to where they are going. It also states that we are to discuss matters of the children's welfare. However, this trip was not discussed with me. We have joint physical custody and I have final say. They reside with me full time. This is one of his weeks for visitation during the summer.
I have learned from my daughter that they left the state of Missouri at 5:00 am. I was not notified until 2 hours after they left.
It does not state in our agreement that she can not take them, but I feel like I should have some say on whether or not she was able to take them out of state. He has not told me when they are returning and our local police department says they can not do anything until he hasn't returned them on their scheduled return time of this Sunday at 6pm.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I am one stressed out Mama!
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
So Stepmom took the kids on a trip during his parenting time?
Is that correct?
Take it to court at your own risk. Frankly, it's ridiculous.
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
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Quoting
typefacestace
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri
My ex notified me at 6:50am by text that his wife was taking our daughters to south dakota and I could get in touch with her if I needed to talk to our daughters. He was not attending this trip.
In our agreement, it states that he is to give me the itinerary, phone numbers, and addresses to where they are going. It also states that we are to discuss matters of the children's welfare. However, this trip was not discussed with me. We have joint physical custody and I have final say. They reside with me full time. This is one of his weeks for visitation during the summer.
I have learned from my daughter that they left the state of Missouri at 5:00 am. I was not notified until 2 hours after they left.
It does not state in our agreement that she can not take them, but I feel like I should have some say on whether or not she was able to take them out of state. He has not told me when they are returning and our local police department says they can not do anything until he hasn't returned them on their scheduled return time of this Sunday at 6pm.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I am one stressed out Mama!
I am sympathetic to why this stresses you out, but honestly, there is nothing that you can do about it. Personally, I don't think that its something that a new significant other should do, but dad has the right to allow it.
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
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llworking
I am sympathetic to why this stresses you out, but honestly, there is nothing that you can do about it. Personally, I don't think that its something that a new significant other should do, but dad has the right to allow it.
A new significant other? She's his wife.... though I suppose it's not impossible that they met and got married over a drunken weekend in Vegas.
My sympathy button appears to be broken, too - the only reference it gives me is the statement that it's somewhere between Sheet and Syphilis in the dictionary.
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
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Dogmatique
A new significant other? She's his wife.... though I suppose it's not impossible that they met and got married over a drunken weekend in Vegas.
My sympathy button appears to be broken, too - the only reference it gives me is the statement that it's somewhere between Sheet and Syphilis in the dictionary.
For some reason I thought it was girlfriend rather than wife...my bad.
I do feel sympathy for parents who are uncomfortable about someone other than a parent taking their children out of state. I can understand why. Its something I would never do unless I was 100% certain that both parents were on board with the idea.
That doesn't change the fact that its dad's decision to make.
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
I see OP parents frustration about other parent not following order as to keeping up with information and entrusting child to unrelated person...but agree with Dogmatic ...this is a redicolus fight to provoke in court and likely to backfire on OP....
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
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HRinDEVON
I see OP parents frustration about other parent not following order as to keeping up with information and entrusting child to unrelated person...but agree with Dogmatic ...this is a redicolus fight to provoke in court and likely to backfire on OP....
Thankfully the court trusts Dad to make sure his child is not at risk.
:cool:
Of course, if Mom makes a fuss, she'll be okay never letting anyone in her family taking the child over state lines for a visit unless Dad approves... right, Mom?
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
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Dogmatique
Thankfully the court trusts Dad to make sure his child is not at risk.
:cool:
Of course, if Mom makes a fuss, she'll be okay never letting anyone in her family taking the child over state lines for a visit unless Dad approves... right, Mom?
See...that is the thing. Many parents who feel that way honestly cannot see it from both sides of the coin. It would never occur to them that that the other parent could have the same reaction, or they honestly might not understand it at all if the other parent had the same reaction. Its that whole "helicopter parent" vibe.
I was always uneasy when my daughter traveled without me. However she did travel without me (and sometimes without either parent). Nobody knew I was uneasy but me. I don't know if my ex was ever uneasy about it, because if he was, he kept it to himself too.
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
It sounds like you are in contact with your kids while they are out with stepmom, what is the concern here? Is it just the fact that dad didn't bring this trip up to you in advance? I could see how that is a little rude, unless this was some type of emergency basis and they didn't have a chance to bring it up to you sooner. You could express your feelings about this to dad, but running to the police is a bit premature wouldn't you say?
Re: Step Parent Took Children Out of State with Out Permission and Without My Ex
I suspect the actual wording of the order doesn't actually say what Mom thinks it says.
She might have veto power, sure - but I seriously doubt she gets to decide what happens during Dad's parenting time.
This is a molehill that's been turned into K-2.
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wess1881
It sounds like you are in contact with your kids while they are out with stepmom, what is the concern here? Is it just the fact that dad didn't bring this trip up to you in advance? I could see how that is a little rude, unless this was some type of emergency basis and they didn't have a chance to bring it up to you sooner. You could express your feelings about this to dad, but running to the police is a bit premature wouldn't you say?
I expect Dad - if pushed - will take this back to court and have the order spelled out in plainer-than-plain English. Unusual circumstances notwithstanding, the court is going to let him parent as he sees fit, without needing approval from Mom.