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Father is Seeking Modification of Custody Due to Mother's Incarceration

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  • 07-24-2015, 11:25 AM
    Vanessa123
    Father is Seeking Modification of Custody Due to Mother's Incarceration
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio . I'm currently serving 86 days with work release sentence in Lake County, Ohio for a theft charge. The father and I currently have shared custody. I am the residential/physical parent. I make all decisions on education, sports, academics, medical and anything that has to do with the well being of my son. The father is to take him every other weekend from Thursday to Sunday and every Tuesday from 4pm-8pm. Which he never shows up for. Also, only takes him from Friday from Sunday and maybe sometimes just never shows. Our son has a IEP and a 504 which means he has a phonological disorder aka learning disorder. My son works hard at school but that is just not enough for him. I have been to every meeting and been fully engaged in my son's education since he has been born.

    Currently, he pays me child support of $74.53 a week but he is 10,500.00 in the rears.
    He does have a 2 bedroom apartment and is married and has two ther children. Maybe currently going thru a divorce????
    The father does have a criminal background he has felony and a history of drug abuse and plenty more charges.
    He has never once shown up for a conference with our son's teachers. he has never shown any effort in our son's education.
    Seriously, lets put it this way the only time he has stepped a foot on school grounds is to pick up our son from latchkey.

    I have a history of DUI's, assaults and domestic's on my record. And now a theft. I'am not a drug addict. Im a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober since
    March 30,2015. My record just sucks. I wish I can just erase it.

    I currently just graduated with honors with my Bachelor's in Healthcare. I hold a full-time job. And I recently just rented out a 2 bedroom condo for when I get out.
    I pay for everything for my son. I'm the parent he counts on. And I'm really not trying to make myself loof good. REALLY NEED LEGAL ADVICE OR HELP!!!

    SO MY SON'S FATHER IS FILING FOR EMERGENCY CUSTODY AND THEN FILING TO HAVE OUR ROLES REVERSED. REALLY IT'S ALL ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT AND HIM NOT WANTING TO PAY IT. HOW CAN I KEEP MY ROLE AS PHYSICAL RESDENTIAL PARENT. ALSO, MY SON WANTS TO LIVE WITH ME AND KEEP THINGS THE SAME.
  • 07-24-2015, 11:30 AM
    cbg
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    What is your suggestion for where your son should live for the next 86 days?
  • 07-24-2015, 11:44 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    It would be extremely foolish to bring up your ex's criminal history when yours is also pretty rotten - he's also not the one going to jail for almost 90 days.

    Dad is exercising at least a good part of his visitation, so the court won't need to consider another placement (which might have been the case if he'd never spent time with the child).

    I'd say your ex has a very good shot at getting and keeping primary custody.
  • 07-24-2015, 11:52 AM
    wess1881
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    It would be extremely foolish to bring up your ex's criminal history when yours is also pretty rotten - he's also not the one going to jail for almost 90 days.

    I wonder if she did, would the court possibly remove this child from both parents?
  • 07-24-2015, 11:53 AM
    HRinDEVON
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Given some of your personal problems, I think your odds rest with darn good legal advocate on your behalf....otherwise your 86 day gap is going to run hard against you....

    BTW, what safe interim arrangement s have you made for the child? Hopefully not involving Dad.....
  • 07-24-2015, 11:55 AM
    Vanessa123
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    I have only 39 days left. He has stated he wants to be with me to several family members.

    I have 39 days left. I don't talk bad about his father. My son wants to stay with me. he has stated that his father is not ready to be a full-time father.
  • 07-24-2015, 11:58 AM
    geek
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Vanessa123
    View Post
    I have only 39 days left. He has stated he wants to be with me to several family members.

    I have 39 days left. I don't talk bad about his father. My son wants to stay with me. he has stated that his father is not ready to be a full-time father.

    Not ready to be a "full time" father yet you mention that he's married with two other kids...surely he's parenting them, no?

    Nothing you have said here gives me reason to think Dad is unsuitable to take the child.

    You have yet to answer the question of the child's current location.
  • 07-24-2015, 11:59 AM
    Vanessa123
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    I only have 39 days left and now the father wants to take custody. I just gave several of his charges his list of charges go on WHICH ARE WAY WORSE THAN MINE. MY SON HAS STATED SEVERAL TIMES TO FAMILY MEMEMBERS HE WANTS TO STAY WITH ME. HE HAS ALSO STATED THAT HIS FATHER IS NOT READY TO BE A FULL-TIME DAD.

    CURRENTLY, MY SON IS STAYING WITH MY HIS GRANDMOTHER BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS NO TIME FOR HIM.
  • 07-24-2015, 11:59 AM
    geek
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting HRinDEVON
    View Post
    Hopefully not involving Dad.....

    And just what is wrong with the FATHER taking care of his own child?
  • 07-24-2015, 12:00 PM
    wess1881
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    So you have been in about 1 1/2 months, and dad is just now filing for emergency custody, is this because he is slow to pull the trigger or because he had no idea what was going on or where his son was for this time?
  • 07-24-2015, 12:00 PM
    geek
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Vanessa123
    View Post
    I only have 39 days left and now the father wants to take custody. I just gave several of his charges his list of charges go on WHICH ARE WAY WORSE THAN MINE. MY SON HAS STATED SEVERAL TIMES TO FAMILY MEMEMBERS HE WANTS TO STAY WITH ME. HE HAS ALSO STATED THAT HIS FATHER IS NOT READY TO BE A FULL-TIME DAD.

    CURRENTLY, MY SON IS STAYING WITH MY HIS GRANDMOTHER BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS NO TIME FOR HIM.

    You will need to speak with an attorney, in all honesty this is not something you want to be unprepared for. His crimes vs. your crimes are not going to be the issue.

    Do you currently work with an attorney regarding your criminal case? I'd start there, maybe get a referral.
  • 07-24-2015, 12:14 PM
    Vanessa123
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    My charges from 10 years ago. I recently just picked up the theft charge. His father is a drop-out that can't hold a job.

    - - - Updated - - -

    CURRENTLY, MY SON IS STAYING WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER (father's mother) BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS NO TIME FOR HIM.

    His other son is with his mother and his other son is a step child. His wife moved out and filed divorce papers two weeks ago. He refuses to participate in my son's sports activity and academics. Its all about money with him.

    - - - Updated - - -

    He was completly aware of the situtation. I dropped my son off at his mothers the day I turned myself in because he was drunk at a bar. He is doing this because he doesn't want to pay child support anymore.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Yes, I have an attorney. My attorney is well aware of the situation. My attorney told me he is wasting his time because the way the shared order is written.
  • 07-24-2015, 12:28 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Vanessa123
    View Post
    My charges from 10 years ago. I recently just picked up the theft charge. His father is a drop-out that can't hold a job.

    - - - Updated - - -

    CURRENTLY, MY SON IS STAYING WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER (father's mother) BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS NO TIME FOR HIM.

    His other son is with his mother and his other son is a step child. His wife moved out and filed divorce papers two weeks ago. He refuses to participate in my son's sports activity and academics. Its all about money with him.

    - - - Updated - - -

    He was completly aware of the situtation. I dropped my son off at his mothers the day I turned myself in because he was drunk at a bar. He is doing this because he doesn't want to pay child support anymore.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Yes, I have an attorney. My attorney is well aware of the situation. My attorney told me he is wasting his time because the way the shared order is written.

    Oh stop yelling.

    You have an attorney. Go pay for HIS advice.

    And seriously, drop your attitude towards Dad. From your behavior here, he might be the most stable parent.
  • 07-24-2015, 12:51 PM
    HRinDEVON
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Default Re: Father Fighting for Custody of Daughter. Mom is in Jail
    A mud sling with dad over who is less bad is not goint to help you.

    Staying with your parents or his parents?

    Look, he may not get father of thex year award....but if your hands are tied for 39 more days to not personally properly care for your child there is no law against his trying to exploit your problems to his advantage .

    From my lay point of view your odds rest with good counsel...and absent same you just about hand dad a slam dunk win of his points.

    Many an attorney is a master of delay ...and if the child is not in harms way and you get your attorney in for a delay than that 39'days starts heading towards zero one day at a time...?
  • 07-27-2015, 10:02 AM
    Ohiogal
    Re: Currently in Jail and Father is Filing Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Vanessa123
    View Post
    I only have 39 days left and now the father wants to take custody. I just gave several of his charges his list of charges go on WHICH ARE WAY WORSE THAN MINE. MY SON HAS STATED SEVERAL TIMES TO FAMILY MEMEMBERS HE WANTS TO STAY WITH ME. HE HAS ALSO STATED THAT HIS FATHER IS NOT READY TO BE A FULL-TIME DAD.

    CURRENTLY, MY SON IS STAYING WITH MY HIS GRANDMOTHER BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS NO TIME FOR HIM.

    Really? Dad can show up at grandma's house and take the child. Your child doesn't get a controlling vote. His wants are only one of an infinite number of things. Your yelling is not helping you. Way worse? You are a convict as well. Expect that Lake County can walk in and remove the child from both of you upstanding people as you have put your child in jeopardy with your jail time if you want to holler how horrid dad is.
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