What Can Parents Do About an Out-of-Control 16-Year-Old

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: Colorado

Hello,
I am a divorced dad with two kids, both adopted as infants.
My son is nearly 16. He lives mostly with his mom, along with my 10 year old daughter. My son is on the autism spectrum, but high functioning and quite intelligent. He is physically large - about 6 ft and 200 lbs. He has been in trouble numerous times for marijuana, truancy (a LOT of truancy), and physical and verbal aggression toward his mom and sister. He has also been somewhat threatening to me but mostly verbal in my case. He steals, does drugs (marijuana only, as far as I know), and bullies his mom and sister. He refuses to do any chores or to help in any way except on very rare occasions.
His mom also has some mental health issues that were diagnosed recently, but I do not have access to the specifics. They are currently staying with her brother temporarily, but nobody wants to take her in or my son. My daughter has been great through everything, but she's been through a lot between her mom's issues and her brother.

As I understand it, in Colorado my son could emancipate at 16 if he is working and has a place to stay that the parents approve. However, my son seems content to bully his mom and sister and not work, and go off with friends and get high.
At his size, physically restraining him is definitely a problem, if not impossible to do without somebody getting injured.

He will not obey any house rules, and is essentially out of our control. He has ignored court appearances, meetings with his probation officers, and his requirements to submit to frequent UA drug testing.
Their caseworker has doubts about my ex's mental health and ability to provide a stable home - she is not working and her mental issues cause problems for her getting and holding a job. I have paid her additional money beyond what I'm required to pay in support, but now those savings are gone and she has to work and find a place to live. The court may be placing the kids with me, but my son is entirely untrustworthy and I can't safely leave him alone in my home or with my daughter while I'm at work. I don't want him living with me, and nobody else in the family will take him in either for any length of time because of his history.

Wits end! Any suggestions? Can he be kicked out if he's a physical threat and incorrigible? The county court here seems to be dragging its feet on any kind of a real solution - I think at minimum he needs to be in a full time residential school program, but none of us have financial resources for that.

Thanks in advance for any wisdom.

Who is the CP per court order?

Get in touch with your nearest DHS office (or whatever it may be called in your area). Ask about CHINS or PINS petitions - these are Children In Need Of Services and Persons In Need Of Services, depending on which is appropriate. I cannot for the life of me find a direct link, but Colorado must have something available.

Or, go directly to the caseworker and ask him/her.

There IS help for you - don't be discouraged.

My ex is the CP - in CO it's shared parenting rather than "custody" per se, but my ex is the primary. We agreed at the time of divorce, and I see the kids regularly including sleepover weekends, etc. Less so as far as my son at his age, who sometimes takes off with friends rather than hang out with dad.

if the young man is into criminal behavior then somebody needs to be getting law enforcement involved ?

Up until now my ex has been mostly involved with family services as she is the primary custodial parent. However, with her mental health in question, I will probably be more involved with F.S. going forward. Family services here is overworked and they haven't given me much time or information, and their efforts have been more focused on issues directly within my ex's household.
Compounding this now, is that my ex has had to move out of her brother's home and as of today she is more or less homeless. Her brother that she was staying with is a therapist and works with severely at risk teens, and he couldn't even work with her or my son. He told me that since my son has broken every probation rule he was given that he will likely (or should be) ordered into a residential (lockdown) school or facility. I don't know yet if that is what family services is planning but it has been discussed previously. Family services is very reluctant to take that step, but right now my son really shouldn't be staying with his mom - or with me - since he is a physical danger to my daughter, my ex, and potentially to me if they were to place both kids with me.

- - - Updated - - -

Law enforcement has been involved multiple times, but what typically happens is he'll act up, my ex calls the police, they either give him a lecture or take him in to JAC for a few hours, then call one of us to pick him up. He has done a couple of brief stays in residential treatment and he has improved for a few days, and he apparently did well while he was there. But so far he hasn't had major consequences - at least none that he took seriously or complied with. So my sense is that he is running out of good will from law enforcement and at some point they will give him more drastic consequences, but so far it's been more or less giving him a very long string of second chances, all of which he's ignored.

Keep at it, Dad.

There are times when you as a parent must do what society sometimes frowns upon. This is one of those times. Keep making those calls until you get someone, somewhere, to listen. It's either that, or tolerating the situation for an unknown period of time. Work with Mom, too - if she's unwilling and/or unable, then that's a matter with its own issues.

I really do feel for you. I make no promises about any of these options/sources, but they might be worth considering:

http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite.../1251581822229

http://www.cga.ct.gov/2009/rpt/2009-R-0187.htm

http://helpyourteennow.com/boot-camp...s-in-colorado/

https://treatment.psychologytoday.co...te=CO&spec=241

Hang in there, Dad.

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And this: http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/CDHS-BehavioralHealth/CBON/1251581821041