Scammed Out of Money by Somebody I Met Through a Dating Website

My question involves small claims court in the state of: New Jersey

I was asked out on an online dating site. I should of said no from the beginning but went to see her anyway. I had a great time initially, then she needed help with her rent because she got kicked out of her home. I took a chance and began paying her bills but I told her this is part of a loan and if she tried not to pay me back I'll take her to court.

I taped my phone calls with her as insurance. So I have her on tape saying she owes me money along with the amount. I also have her on tape asking me for money. But here's the problems, she's apparently a casual pothead and want to smoke weed with me. So I gave her money for weed. Her uncle found and flushed it away. So I tried one more time and she gets arrested and charged with public drunkenness. I loan her the money for that because she was hiding the fine from her uncle.

Everything was kind of a normal relationship. Some time later she wants to try again I said alright. Now she has a distribution charge and has to go to court. I stopped giving her money for weed. I did continue to loan her rent money. But stopped when she found a job.

Then for a month she made me drive in circles and not paying me back. She owes me 1,080.00 but won't I get in trouble since 140.00 was for weed? Next problem is that she is a thief and is in jail for burglary. I am concern and called her mother because she gave me her number when she asked me to bail her out of jail.

The girl who owed me money said her mom was trying to western union the money to her to give to me. But was having problems. But according to the mom this was a lie. And to make it worse I do not think this girl even pays rent.

So the girl is iin jail now for committing a crime. I can prove she owes me money but in doing so I'm worried I'll get in trouble for knowingly giving this girl money for weed. That and I do not know if this girl is going to get convicted or not.

What should I do? Her own mother cause her an untrustworthy manipulative liar that deserves to be in jail.

Take the whole thing as an object lesson, accept your losses, and cut her out of your life entirely.

I think you ought to cut your losses and move on, and not contact this person again. You'll never see your money even if you were to get a judgement.

Your odds of collecting on the loan.....About the same as my being a 1st round draft pick IIn NBA next year.

Your odds of getting burned if you keep at it....pretty good.

Cost to walk away and forget it.....its best deal around!

It started off decently. We went on a few dates and it was fun. Then she tells me she has family problems. On date 4 or 5 the day before she asked me for money we were looking at something in the mall, and she tosses the shirt back on to the rack and broke down in tears. She tells me her uncle wants her home asap or he will throw all her possessions onto the curb. So, she starts to cry hysterically and I drove her home. They yelled and argue and she was on the sidewalk crying like her whole life got destroyed. Then he goes into the house and throw shit around and she runs in telling him to stop. It sounds like he was so fed up with her, that he was breaking her belongings inside the house. I'll admit I was freaked out by the whole thing.

I dunno how else to describe the event but it was just heartbreaking and brutal to watch.

She was in tears and the next day I see her sitting in the corner crying that she doesn't have a place to stay. She tells me as a lesson he locks her out of the house and forces her to stay at a homeless shelter. I was trying to help her. Well, at first I yelled at her and demanded to know if it was a scam or not. Then she broke down crying and everybody knows the rest...

I'm not sure what will happen to her because of this court case. It looks like she's spending jail time but I think she might just get probation. She asked for me to be a co signer to a 25,000.00 bailbond which I said I'll try but in reality I never planned on doing that. That's just crazy. I stopped giving her money when she started her job about a month ago. I feel terrible for her but now I'm angry because I think she just want me to pay for her problems. She still need to make payments for her public drunkeness ticket which is going to be past due soon.

I know she gets money from her family time to time which is why I'm hoping to recover part of what I'm owed. But I dunno anymore.

Eventually, she has to get a job in the future. She's 21 can she seriously runaway from a judgement her whole life? That seems kind of far fetched to me.

Do I have good odds in winning a judgement? I have her on tape saying she owes this amount to me. I mean that's good to use as evidence right? Her own voice saying she owes me this amount?

Quote:

---

Quoting garmin

---

It started off decently. We went on a few dates and it was fun. Then she tells me she has family problems. On date 4 or 5 the day before she asked me for money we were looking at something in the mall, and she tosses the shirt back on to the rack and broke down in tears. She tells me her uncle wants her home asap or he will throw all her possessions onto the curb. So, she starts to cry hysterically and I drove her home. They yelled and argue and she was on the sidewalk crying like her whole life got destroyed. Then he goes into the house and throw shit around and she runs in telling him to stop. It sounds like he was so fed up with her, that he was breaking her belongings inside the house. I'll admit I was freaked out by the whole thing.

I dunno how else to describe the event but it was just heartbreaking and brutal to watch.

She was in tears and the next day I see her sitting in the corner crying that she doesn't have a place to stay. She tells me as a lesson he locks her out of the house and forces her to stay at a homeless shelter. I was trying to help her. Well, at first I yelled at her and demanded to know if it was a scam or not. Then she broke down crying and everybody knows the rest...

I'm not sure what will happen to her because of this court case. It looks like she's spending jail time but I think she might just get probation. She asked for me to be a co signer to a 25,000.00 bailbond which I said I'll try but in reality I never planned on doing that. That's just crazy. I stopped giving her money when she started her job about a month ago. I feel terrible for her but now I'm angry because I think she just want me to pay for her problems. She still need to make payments for her public drunkeness ticket which is going to be past due soon.

I know she gets money from her family time to time which is why I'm hoping to recover part of what I'm owed. But I dunno anymore.

Eventually, she has to get a job in the future. She's 21 can she seriously runaway from a judgement her whole life? That seems kind of far fetched to me.

Do I have good odds in winning a judgement? I have her on tape saying she owes this amount to me. I mean that's good to use as evidence right? Her own voice saying she owes me this amount?

---

You clearly didn't listen to what we told you. Cut your losses, write it off as a lesson learned, and move on. Ever hear of the saying, "You can't get blood from a stone?" What makes you think you'll get your money back? You should be angry at yourself for being so easily had.

Get a job in the future? Why should she, she has guys like you she can mooch off of.

If you get involved with her again I have the feeling she'll either guilt trip you into giving her more money or she'll pull you into her legal woes. Forget about her and stay well clear, block her on your social media/phone etc and don't deal with her again.

If you choose, you can sue her and get a default judgment -- or, if she appears and defends, try to get a verdict on the merits -- but it will cost you a filing fee and process service fee. If you prevail you can ask that those fees be added to the judgment. But do you think the odds of this person paying you money on a judgment are any greater than her repaying the loan you're hoping to recover? Do you think she has wages that you can garnish, or some other means of collection that is reasonably likely to succeed?

What others are telling you is, don't throw good money after bad -- if you're going to put more money into your ex-, along with a commitment of time, you want to have a reasonable expectation of actually collecting some money on the judgment.

What upsets me is that her cousin found her a job that actually pays more than I. I even helped her with a new resume that she was using to find a second job. She didn't have any resume to begin with! She said she hasn't eaten anything in the past day or so because her uncle doesn't buy enough food and enjoys going away at times. So, one time at dinner she request a take out container for the rest of her meal. I know she was still hungry and told the waiter to bring the menu instead. I ordered something extra for her that I think she appreciated. The rest of the relationship was kind of normal. I understood she has family and trust issues, but after some time its obviously she was just using me. Sadly, all this happen AFTER I loaned her the money. She claims her mother is using a similiar service like western union to send money to her to repay me. Which is false. I remember she said we had to go to Newark ASAP because the funds were being transferred back to her mother's account? Which made no sense to me.

I have a feeling that she might pay rent but at the same time might owe somebody else money. Or a greedy con woman.

Before this burglary charge (which she lied and said was her distribution charge) she had a job that paid more than me. During that month she should have made close to 1,000.00 after taxes. I thought she was actually improving herself at the time. I actually created her resume that she was using to find another job. You would think she would have appreciated the gesture, but no.

She obviously been fired but their should be something in her bank. Unless she spent it all. Perhaps a judgement would be another wakeup call for her. What are the consequences of not paying a judgement?

I'm mostly upset at wasted time. I don't make much currently. I mean theirs gas, tolls(15 back), food, whatever entertainment etc. Then personal bills and the rest was the loan. I'm good with my money, I improve my credit score to 820, but the point is 1,080 is nothing with all the things I did to help her. No appreciation. I didn't save anything the entire time I've been with her. It's a real slap in the face to me. with the money she owed and the money I'll save if I didn't even met her would probably be 2,000.00

I don't see how I can sue someone that's in jail for a crime. I'm hoping she gets probation within the time frame and issue a claim then. But if it's revealed that 140 was for weed won't I get in trouble? Im trying to see how that can be avoided.

Outside of tanking her credit, there are no real consequences to not paying a judgment.

Think about it - she's not going to pay. It'll just cost you more in time and money and frustration.

Folks,

He's not going to let it go until he's allowed her to milk him of every cent he's got.

Let him savor his victimization. After all, he is paying for it.