Father Wants to Change Infant's Middle and Last Name

My question involves name change laws in the State of: California

The father of my child wants his middle and last name changed to match his. I do not wish for this to happen (nor have it hyphenated). His father and i were never married and were never even in a committed relationship, we briefly saw each other for a two week period when my current fiance and i were separated(other than short period of time my fiance and i have been together for 3 1/2 years). when he found out i was pregnant i wasn't sure who the father was. when my sons father found out i was pregnant he insisted i had an abortion, and i refused. since then my fiance has played the father role, and he is so good with my son. his father wanted for a dna test after the birth, and since then he has maybe seen my son twice for aprox 45 mins each visit. He served me with papers to get custody and we have court coming up. do you think he has a chance of changing my sons name?

of course there is a chance but generally instead of making it one or the other of the parent's, courts like to make it a hyphenated name. I suspect the middle name is a no go unless the father can justify the need to change the name. His own pride is not adequate reason most of the time.

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Quoting MommyB

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My question involves name change laws in the State of: California

The father of my child wants his middle and last name changed to match his. I do not wish for this to happen (nor have it hyphenated). His father and i were never married and were never even in a committed relationship, we briefly saw each other for a two week period when my current fiance and i were separated(other than short period of time my fiance and i have been together for 3 1/2 years). when he found out i was pregnant i wasn't sure who the father was. when my sons father found out i was pregnant he insisted i had an abortion, and i refused. since then my fiance has played the father role, and he is so good with my son. his father wanted for a dna test after the birth, and since then he has maybe seen my son twice for aprox 45 mins each visit. He served me with papers to get custody and we have court coming up. do you think he has a chance of changing my sons name?

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A few things:
1) This child is also his child.
2) How does your fiancé play the father role? Does he have the child call him dad? Do you have the child call your fiancé dad?
3) How old is this child?
4) Dad may get joint custody.

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Quoting Ohiogal

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A few things:
1) This child is also his child.
2) How does your fiancé play the father role? Does he have the child call him dad? Do you have the child call your fiancé dad?
3) How old is this child?
4) Dad may get joint custody.

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The child is only 2 months old, he doesn't speak yet, but yes my family and i refer to my fiance as the dad.

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Quoting MommyB

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The child is only 2 months old, he doesn't speak yet, but yes my family and i refer to my fiance as the dad.

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Your fiancé is NOT the child's dad. KNOCK THAT OFF immediately. You and your family are lying to the child. The father is the man who impregnated you and is suing for custody. You continuing to refer to your current lover as the child's dad could harm you in court as it shows that you are not willing to facilitate a relationship between the child and his father. You are also displaying that you will attempt to alienate the child from his father if given the chance.

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Quoting Ohiogal

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Your fiancé is NOT the child's dad. KNOCK THAT OFF immediately. You and your family are lying to the child. The father is the man who impregnated you and is suing for custody. You continuing to refer to your current lover as the child's dad could harm you in court as it shows that you are not willing to facilitate a relationship between the child and his father. You are also displaying that you will attempt to alienate the child from his father if given the chance.

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his biological father is terrifying. during the brief time we were together he told me if i ever left him he would "take me to his country and kill me", he has also held a knife to my throat in the past. he didnt want the baby, and if i would have listened to him my son would not be here today. my fiance supports my son and i emotionally and financially, since i am unemployed and a student. dna doesnt make you a father, maybe in the court of law, but not to me.

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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Quoting MommyB

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his biological father is terrifying. during the brief time we were together he told me if i ever left him he would "take me to his country and kill me", he has also held a knife to my throat in the past. he didnt want the baby, and if i would have listened to him my son would not be here today. my fiance supports my son and i emotionally and financially, since i am unemployed and a student. dna doesnt make you a father, maybe in the court of law, but not to me.

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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Do you know for certain who the biological father is? Has a DNA tests been done?

You have made several mistakes here that make it more likely that your ex- is going to get what he wants, particularly in relation to the name change. First, you engaged in a deliberate act of fraud, knowingly filing a false affidavit of parentage in order to try to avoid the father's obtaining parental rights. Second, you chose to give your child a surname other than your own, weakening your ability to oppose the father's request that the child have only his surname. In combination, those acts suggest a wish to estrange and alienate the child from his father. (You have confessed that desire here in this thread, but it's not the sort of position that will normally go over well with a family court.)

I don't know whether you can substantiate your claims about your ex-. Did you file police reports? If so, did prosecution follow? If you made reports to the police and the father was not prosecuted, why not? Have you obtained an order of protection?

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Quoting MommyB

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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Holy cow. You screwed up first class with that nonsense. You both committed paternity fraud and that will weigh heavily against you in the current issue. You were intentionally alienating the child from his father. Not a good thing.

Not only will the child not have your fiance's last name (as you do now) because you are not married and until it does happen, there is always a chance it never will, but since you are not married plan on it being difficult to argue the child should have your maiden name (even as a hyphenated name along with the father's name) since you claim you do intend on getting married.

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Quoting MommyB

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his biological father is terrifying. during the brief time we were together he told me if i ever left him he would "take me to his country and kill me", he has also held a knife to my throat in the past. he didnt want the baby, and if i would have listened to him my son would not be here today. my fiance supports my son and i emotionally and financially, since i am unemployed and a student. dna doesnt make you a father, maybe in the court of law, but not to me.

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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Your fiance is the legal father.

Of course, I'm not touching on the whole fraud issue, but that's not what you asked anyway.

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Quoting MommyB

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My question involves name change laws in the State of: California
His father and i were never married and were never even in a committed relationship, we briefly saw each other for a two week period when my current fiance and i were separated(other than short period of time my fiance and i have been together for 3 1/2 years)

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So you have been with your fiance for 3 1/2 years, and have a 2 month old child with another guy yes?

I would think your concern here should be more about the custody, and not so much about the name. I would be concerned that dad could bring to light the several instances you have mentioned here of alienation. Whatever happened between you and your finance that ended with you knocking boots with this other guy, it seems like you are trying to erase him from your past and that isn't going to fly with court. It doesn't matter if he said to get an abortion then, he is here now and he is wanting custody of this child and if you aren't careful you might be in for a rude surprise.

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Quoting MommyB

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his biological father is terrifying. during the brief time we were together he told me if i ever left him he would "take me to his country and kill me", he has also held a knife to my throat in the past. he didnt want the baby, and if i would have listened to him my son would not be here today. my fiance supports my son and i emotionally and financially, since i am unemployed and a student. dna doesnt make you a father, maybe in the court of law, but not to me.

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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You chose the biological father as dad when you gave birth to the child. Good to know you and your fiancé are not above committing fraud by lying on official paperwork. You are stuck with the biological father forever -- if he wants to be a dad, the courts will grant him that. Expect that the child's name will be changed -- the last name -- since that is NOT your last name.

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Dog, while I agree that the fiancé is CURRENTLY the legal father, that can easily be changed since the biological father has filed paperwork.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Your fiance is the legal father.

Of course, I'm not touching on the whole fraud issue, but that's not what you asked anyway.

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somewhere along the line something changed:

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his father wanted for a dna test after the birth, and since then he has maybe seen my son twice for aprox 45 mins each visit. He served me with papers to get custody and we have court coming up.

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it appears paternity was disestablished re the fiance and established re the bio father.

Quite honestly I don't think OP knows anything.

Dad - and I mean the actual real father, not the shooed-in replacement model - should fight this tooth and nail AND use everything in his power to show that Mom is deliberately trying to push him away from HIS child.

And Mom? Save us the 6th grade Michael Moore rhetoric please. A father is a father by virtue of either biology or legality. Don't give us the crap about "He did this, this and this and my new fiance is his Daddy and that's all my baby knows!". Just don't.

Christ, the baby is 2 months old. He doesn't even know where his toes are yet!

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Quite honestly I don't think OP knows anything.

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either that or she is intentionally being deceptive to attempt to obtain an answer she wants (which never made any sense since you are asking for info on a forum).

Once again...

She stated that she was with this guy for two weeks while she and her fiancé were separated...where in this thread has it been establish WHO is biologically the father of the child? Either I missed it, or it has not been stated.

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Quoting llworking

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Once again...

She stated that she was with this guy for two weeks while she and her fiancé were separated...where in this thread has it been establish WHO is biologically the father of the child? Either I missed it, or it has not been stated.

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Reread. She said that the father wanted a DNA test and since then (the DNA test) he has seen the child twice. That is how I believe most of us are reading it.

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Quoting Ohiogal

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Reread. She said that the father wanted a DNA test and since then (the DNA test) he has seen the child twice. That is how I believe most of us are reading it.

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Yep. That's how I'm reading it

It seems pretty clear to me. But it doesn't really matter - he can file to establish paternity at the same time as filing for custody/visitation.

And I'm sorry L, but I know where this is headed. Mom has made some serious errors which could be very, very costly for her (as they should be).

Aaaaand.... before we go there, nobody is saying Bio is an angel. Nobody.

(sorry OG - I sorta hijacked my own post!)

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Yep. That's how I'm reading it

It seems pretty clear to me. But it doesn't really matter - he can file to establish paternity at the same time as filing for custody/visitation.

And I'm sorry L, but I know where this is headed. Mom has made some serious errors which could be very, very costly for her (as they should be).

Aaaaand.... before we go there, nobody is saying Bio is an angel. Nobody.

(sorry OG - I sorta hijacked my own post!)

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I wasn't going anywhere with it. I was honestly confused.

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Quoting MommyB

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I don't think i stated it prior but my son does have my fiances last name and he did sign for paternity in the hospital. I gave my son his last name because we will soon be married and i want my son to share his last name with his mother, and any future children we may have together.

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If the DNA test comes back to be you ex's child, you can kiss that last name goodbye. You just tanked your chances to keep that name if you can't prove your fiance fathered that child. AOP's go out the window after a DNA test and a family court proceeding on a 2 month old who has no chance of knowing who his father is.

Psst... guys, she hasn't been to court yet.

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Quoting MommyB

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He served me with papers to get custody and we have court coming up. do you think he has a chance of changing my sons name?

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Well, if paternity has not been established then a suit for custody or visitation is premature and would be shot down in response. It doesn't appear that has happened and that is why I read it as there was a DNA test. If paternity hadn't been established then that would be required before and hearing in custody of visitation would take place.

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Quoting jk

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Well, if paternity has not been established then a suit for custody or visitation is premature and would be shot down in response. It doesn't appear that has happened and that is why I read it as there was a DNA test. If paternity hadn't been established then that would be required before and hearing in custody of visitation would take place.

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You missed the family law bus on this one. They're done all in one large petition. You sue for paternity, establishment of custody, visitation and support all in one big case, all at the same time.

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Quoting CourtClerk

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You missed the family law bus on this one. They're done all in one large petition. You sue for paternity, establishment of custody, visitation and support all in one big case, all at the same time.

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Wait till I tell you the exact imagery which went through my mind when you said this ^^^^

I just about died. :D