Dad's at Work During Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: oh

I am currently waiting for a hearing for modification of our shared parenting plan. However, my childs father has him for his half of summer vacation. He tried to put him in daycare while he is at work , even had the forms filled out by the dr. I was never informed of where the daycare was or included in the choice. The judge ruled that my child would be with me instead of daycare. I stay at home. His wife is off one day a week so my child is with her that day. However, now he is having grandma babysit four days this week. He will be gone nine hours each day. He says since he is not paying her, she is not daycare and that he has every right to bond with grandma. I agree, he should bond with grandma, but nine hours a day when mom is available seems more like babysitting than bonding. He just turned two. We have shared parenting, but currently he sees him two evenings a week and one overnight totaling 30 hours. I have not seen my son in ten days, because he had one uninterrupted week. He is allowed two weeks consecutive. ..he broke his up in two one week time frames. Last week is one, next week is the other...i am not sure that is even allowed. I'm getting disheartened. I do have an attorney, but wanted thoughts.

You should discuss with your lawyer the exact language of the 'right of first refusal' order that the judge issued in response to your motion over daycare. If that language does not help you, you should discuss whether it would make sense to try to litigate over grandma's provision of child care.

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Quoting hopscotch

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I'm getting disheartened. I do have an attorney, but wanted thoughts.

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You want my thoughts? Here they are.

You strike me as the typical hostile ex-spouse looking for any excuse to put the screws to the other ex-spouse and using the child as the weapon.

This makes lawyers very happy as they deposit your money in their bank accounts and turns kids into terrorists who shoot up classrooms and then commit suicide.

Would it really kill you to back off and let this go?

Take the high road and encourage the kid to enjoy his visits, whatever the circumstances, without tearing his heart out with the conflict between you and your ex.

Wow adjusterjack...actually not hostile at all...he and i can get along, also we were never married....if the roles reversed, you better be sure I'd want him with dad first. I have given him extra time in the past. Hope you are not always so hostile sounding yourself :)

Mr. Knowitall, we are waiting for the paperwork from court to see how the language is worded. Thank you for your import

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*input

Whoa Jack ... NOT cool. Terrorists? School shootings? What in the holy hell did you have for breakfast this morning?

Visitation isn't for stepmom, and it's not for Grandma either. Mom is under no obligation at all to do anything other than follow her court order. I note with interest also, that kiddo stays with Stepmom with no argument from Mom.

Clarification (of court orders) is never a bad thing, either.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Whoa Jack ... NOT cool. Terrorists? School shootings? What in the holy hell did you have for breakfast this morning?

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Just trying to make a point about all these exes that constantly snipe at each other over trivialities. Makes the kids crazy and who knows how that's going to manifest itself in later life.

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Quoting adjusterjack

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Just trying to make a point about all these exes that constantly snipe at each other over trivialities. Makes the kids crazy and who knows how that's going to manifest itself in later life.

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(I actually agree there)

But on this one, I'm not reeeeeally convinced (yet) that one or the other is more at fault.

Unless there is a right of first refusal carefully worded to treat GM as day care I don't follow OPs point.

Often the use of the word day care means child care and care by immediate family /blood family does not trigger the child care umbrella at least as to OH license issues and definition of terms .

The order may well say Dad is not to use day care but GM may well not be day care ....read your order Beyond that is to speculate...

Thank you...we are waiting for the paperwork to see the wording, council explained to me if they are bringing in people outside of the house, it is daycare...his council said if hes not paying anyone ..it is not daycare so basically anyone could come in the house to watch him...so the lawyers are giving conflicting advice... so i just wondered what the general rule was on this, but without the wording ...i have no way of knowing. ..my lawyer said he walked away with the thought the judge said while at work, mom shall be offered babysitting before anyone else, he says his lawyer told him it meant no daycare facility...so it all depends on the paper...im gonna get reamed for this...especially by the poster who said this is what causes kids to commit suicide, but i am mom and i am home...nine hours a day in the life of a two year old is a long time, he should be with a parent ..whether him or me...yes he should spend time with grandma, but not all day everyday when mom is available ...and it will be up to the judge to decide what is in his best interest. ..

OP, I am trying to figure out how you are able to provide babysitting when you are also obligated to support your child. If you were working as are most mothers of even young children, the child would be in day care. Would you then allow the dad to have him during your custody times during the year when he was not at work as well?

If the order is rewritten for ROFR, it should go both ways and if you go out for the requisite period of time, expect to let dad have him rather than whoever is supporting you and your share of the kids expenses.

At least as to the OH definitions found in here , neither attorney has it right on target --there may be other definitions or words in the order
Read thru Ohio 5104.01 Child day-care definitions.

Day care "might" be triggered if Dad employed services of an UNRELATED person to care for child in Dads home under color that Dads home is NOT the child's home.

Hang on a sec.

Grandma is looking after the child 4 days this week? As in, Dad's holiday visitation? As in, not during the year but just this week?

For now its half of summer...this week ot grandma...some weeks its step mom and i always give dad first choice...even if its a few hours....im not saying its only my right...more my childs right to be with one parent or the other, before others...once we have our hearing...the future will be decided...he wants week on week off...and then im not sure who would be doing childcare for the week he would be with dad...and yes it is my right to support my child, which i do...i didnt recieve child support for the first year of his life...he was clothed and fed, support isnt just monetary and ..im not trying to take dads rights away...i am trying to have my son with either parent when available. ..until we see the language in the entry, we just have to wait.

I think you're going to be disappointed.

We've seen here time and time again parents who, during their summer parenting time, are entitled to send kiddo off to see Ancient Aunty Agnes for one week in Florida, then over to Uncle Rico in Denver... see where I'm going?

Unless there was a court order for Dad to support the child, you have no legal beef about Dads lack of support

And Dads visitation rights are whatever the order says they are .

It seems odd to me that a CP doesn't have a copy of the court order that probably governs the situation.....

There might be a technical point in some definitions about child's relationship to dad's step mom in child care context--but I think it bodes poorly for Mom to bring up that point

Dad has a right to send the child to grandma's for time. And you don't have the judgment entry. Therefore, the order doesn't "exist" legally. Dad is not utilizing daycare. He is having his child spend time with relatives. He is allowed to do that. I agree with dad's lawyer on this.